Broken boys Cry Alone

Evil Lives In A Good Heart

Derek's P.O.V

I woke up in a pool of sweat, and a feeling of failure has awakened too. The memories of what happened before I blacked out rushed back into my mind, And the misery inside started to feed on my feeling of failure making silent tears roll down my face. I took a look around me as I wiped my feelings away with my fist, I was in his room, in his bed. I buried my face between my legs, feeling my face heat up as more salty liquid fall from my eyes. I had him, I had him right in my arms, I promised him I wouldn't leave him alone, that he wouldn't return to wherever The Nogitsune has held him captive, but I failed him. 

I heard a knock on the door making me jump in surprise since I was too drunk on the sadness to hear anything. I rolled my hand into a fist as destroyed the tears from my face. I removed myself from Stiles' bed and moved to the door where I put on a brave face as I opened the door seeing Deaton. 

" Derek, I found out how to save him," he said as he opened a very old dusty book, but honestly all I could think of was getting Stiles back, no matter what it takes, I have let him slip in between my fingers too many times, now I'm gonna save him permanently. 

" How?!?!" I asked, feeling the hope there had replaced the sadness and despair grow. I could finally see a future with Stiles and that thought is my drive. Stiles is my drive, my reason why I feel like a better person.

" I tell once we have gathered the others, just so everybody is filled in on the plan," he said patting my shoulder. I nodded, I didn't care, I just want Stiles back, when I had saved him from the warehouse and had him in my arms, I felt complete, the storm of utter chaos, anger, and destruction had disappeared and calmed down into a blissful cloud of love.

The pack and The Hunters were quickly summoned in the living room, it was obvious that everybody was stressed out completely, and the smell was like a thick fog covering my senses, I do have adapted to it, but still, it's very hard not get stressed out and rip a throat out with my teeth. But now there is nothing there can ruin my good mood, cause now I have something to look forward to. Getting Stiles back.

" We have found a way to save Stiles from The Nogitsune," I announced to the pack and The Hunters. They all looked shocked, not Lydia since she has been helping Deaton with finding all the information on The Nogitsune. I made a gesture to Deaton, giving him the word. 

"Miss Martin and I have been looking through every book containing information or myths about The Nogitsune and we have come to the conclusion that there is only one thing there can save him, The Bite," he said making me freeze. No way I will let Stiles become a werewolf, the chance of him even surviving the Bite is abnormally low. But then Deaton cleared his throat, indicating he wasn't done explaining.

" Stiles is already possessed by the nogitsune, so giving Stiles' body The Bite will counterattack The Nogitsune, it said in the book, 'you can't be a fox and a wolf,' but in order for it to work we obviously need a werewolf to give him the bite," he said with a heavy voice as he looked at me, I nodded with a heavy head as even more responsibility landed on my shoulders, now Stiles' life is in my hands. If he doesn't survive this, his blood will be on my hands. No, I won't let him die, I will save him, even if I have to risk my own life.

" Wait why can't I give him The Bite?" Scott asked confused and slightly offended that he wasn't the first choice, I know that his heart is in the right place, but now isn't the time for complaints or questions, now we all just do as we are told and as The Alpha, every member of The Pack is my responsibility. 

" Scott you can't give someone the since you are a Beta, that power remains with The Alpha, And if Stiles doesn't survive I considered that you won't be able to handle having his blood on your hands, just let Derek take care of this," Deaton said in calm, yet with a stressed-out undertone. Scott lowered his head but still nodded in agreement. Now we just had to pinpoint The Nogitsune and The Fake Stiles down, another task there seemed to get in the way, to know which one is which. 

" Ok, you all give me an answer when You find out where they are," I said as I spun around and headed up to his room, feeling like boulders were strapped to my shoulders. When I stepped into his room and breathed in the faint scent of Stiles, the boulders felt a bit lighter, it was the thing Stiles does, whenever I feel down or stressed he helps me calm down just by his scent, he was the reason I didn't go insane when I first became The Alpha, he made everything so easy, and now without him, everything just seems too hard to handle. 

I walked around his room again, for the millionth time, taking in every detail, from his flannels and hoodies in his open closet to his laptop there hasn't been touched since Stiles disappeared. Everything in his room was filled with his personality, from his iconic red hoodie to the baseball bat beside his bed. I sat on his bed, folding my hands in my lap as I began to think, thinking back to the time before was Stiles possessed when it all was simple and nice, thinking back to the day where we were laughing in a diner as we both let our hearts open to each, that was the moment I truly fell in love. 

I looked at his nightstand seeing a photograph of a family, probably his, with his mom and dad, they all looked so happy, and Stiles, in his eyes there isn't even a hint of sadness or misery. I shifted my attention from the photo to a little black notebook, I opened the book and ran a finger through the pages. On the inner side of the cover, it said journal, so it was probably his form for diary, just not like a diary, but book to write his day down in from an informational point of view, a lot the pages was him being afraid of his dad or his deep thoughts of sadness, but the last pages his mood seemed to change, the writing wasn't so heavy and the content in the book seemed to be more positive.

Journal observation for today

Today is one week since Derek hale, a werewolf gave me a roof over my head, I'm grateful and happy that not all people hate me, I just don't hope I screw this up with my awkwardness or even worse.

Catching feelings. 

Derek obviously seems straight but again I won't judge or make assumptions, I just know that with my luck he will be straight. 

Reading this make me swallow a lump there was almost choking me with emotions. I had never thought about to stop and think about my sexual orientation, I just know that Stiles is the one for me, no matter what gender he would have been, so if it goes down to a specific label, I would say Stiles sexual, but to set a serious label I would say pan, just give him the information that I will love him no matter what he is.

A soft knock broke my thought stream and I closed the journal and placed it back on the nightstand. I rose up from the bed and opened the door seeing Allison and Scott standing in front of me, hand in hand. It was good to see that Scott has found true love too, but seeing him with his makes me miss mine even more. I Nodded to them giving them permission to speak. 

" Derek, we found out where they are," They both said in a neutral voice, probably not to get their hopes up too high which I totally understand.

" Where!?" I asked, almost desperate to find out where he is so I can save from that demons iron grasp, cause no matter what I will never leave any place without him by my side, never!

" He is at Beacon Hills high school," with a sparkle of hope in their eyes. I gave them approving nod as I went with them downstairs to get my leather jacket, getting ready to go and save Stiles once and for all, and nothing is gonna come in my way.

" Ok everybody lets go!" I said as I stormed out of the loft.

This time I won't return empty-handed. 

 * Hey guys, girls, and nonbinary pearls, sorry for this late update and I have said it before that won't pull out crappy excuses. I hope everybody is ok with everything going on in the world right now with COVID-19 and the countries shutting down, I myself have been along with my mom and brother been practicing social distancing along with thousands of other people in my country, so I hope that everyone is being safe and maintaining distance and washing their hands, cause I sure am tired of the world being shut down. 

So please stay safe, wash you hands, and I see you all in the next chapter.

Byeeee <3<3<3<3<3

Daily question: what have you all been doing in this social distancing time?

I have been getting really into nail art and playing Nintendo. I find painting my nails very stress relieving and playing Nintendo a great way to phase out from the craziness of the world right now.