Losing Ruby

chapter seven

Losing Ruby

Copyright © 2020 Kelsa Dixon

All rights reserved

— • —

[Brody]

The service passed in a blur. A windswept, emotional haze. The swollen clouds lingered; they felt dull and lifeless overhead, suffocating the cemetery, as though they were closing in on us. Maybe that was the mental restraint collapsing inward that I felt as I stared at the caskets being lowered into the ground; the words of the priest bringing little comfort as he offered words of hope and beauty in the life beyond this one.

I still wasn't convinced such a thing existed. Not the way Ruby had been taken. Not the way our parents had left Chloe; with any already broken family.

I curled the program in my hand and studied the name across my knuckles. R-U-B-Y fit so perfectly it hurt to think of such a destiny. Four fingers, four letters. I found the petals of a lily etched across the back of my hand, wrapping down my wrist. A flower that had been her favorite, but only because it had too been our mother's favorite. Perhaps, another demented form of prophecy.

I was jerked back to the present as Chloe reached around Luca, tugging on my hand. They were all standing, her eyes brimmed with water that ran in silent currents down each cheek—on an otherwise emotionless face. I wanted to take away the pain she didn't let show. But I didn't know how and as she caught my stare lingering on her, she pulled back her shoulders. Her chin went with them as she raised it under the misguided scrutiny.

Luca's arm hooked around her shoulders, breaking our silence, and started moving her forward. Noah was the first one out of our row. The first one in the car. The first to loosen his tie and pop the first button of his collared shirt as he sank in his seat behind Luca. His elbow hit the window ledge and he propped his face on a fist, staring blankly out the window. For the first time all week he was quiet.

It must have surprised Chloe as much as it did me. She reached for him, her fingers curled over his forearm. "You okay?" she whispered.

Noah instantly withdrew his arm and silenced her with a short hiss. "Shh."

As he recoiled his arm it snaked around her neck and without breaking his stare to the outside world—the trees as they blew by—he dragged her across the back seat until her head hit his chest, tearing her prying eyes from reading too much into a stoic stare that rivaled hers.

At a red light, Luca's gaze flickered from the car in front of us to the rear view mirror before darting back to the road again. Briefly they landed on me with a pointed look that dropped to the strap across my chest. Then the light in front of us turned green.

"Chloe, seat belt," I murmured.

Noah scoffed. "Like it'd be the thing to save her."

Luca's grip tightened over the wheel. My vision turned momentarily fuzzy. All I heard from Chloe was the distinct click of the metal clasp and my mind went to that day seven years ago once again. It's what I'd ask of Luca; I'd cared—I'd meant to do the right thing. But it hadn't been enough. Trying was never enough. I'd stopped at the stop sign. I'd looked for cars in both directions. I'd done what I was supposed to do.

But the car had come barreling toward us.

Ruby knew—I'd seen the look in her eyes—she knew it was moving too fast. I leaned away from my door now as I imagined Ruby had been the one to drive. She'd wanted to, and I hadn't let her. Maybe if I had she would've waited long enough. Maybe we would've sat in the car longer, trying to pick the right song, that the car would've already blown through and we would've missed the accident entirely. Maybe it would've been me, instead of her.