Look at our world. Look how everyone strives to achieve something. Aren't they seeking something permanent in a place where nothing is constant? In a world where happy endings became our psychological Atlantis, do you feel lonely? Lonely for doing your best to prepare for a future you are not even certain you will reach? Isn't it sad that you pressure yourself too much, put extreme effort, and sleep late just to be sure you will not fail? Isn't it sad that you need to embrace the very thing that causes you anxiety, hoping one day it will be rewarding? When the world is asleep, and you're still awake chasing your breath, I know you always ask yourself, how long do I have to live? All these preparations and sacrifice, are these enough to warrant happiness at the end?
But I know one of your fears, dear. You fear building the very foundation of your home, seeing its transformation and growth, only to be ripped from your grasp before you can even enter the door. You're not afraid to die, for most of the answers to your questions lie in the abyss of the unknown. But your heart aches every time you imagine yourself not living the end you desire. I know you don't believe in happy endings, but you believe you are entitled to a closure, something justifiable to end your chapters. And what's heartbreaking about life? It's the truth that most of the people died without receiving one.
Your greatest fear? I also know, dear. You're drowning. For your thoughts wander so deep, and you're afraid that one day when the water feels like home, more than home than anyone or any place, you will not want to resurface.
There are times when you contemplate your existence. While some want to ask themselves what do they want to become in their future, you dwell in the mystery of why you are even here in the first place. What if it's just a test, and those who died first had found the correct answer? What if this life is just a game, and those who are still alive were defeated? What if those who find the answers are now watching us, like how people eagerly watched Netflix, and they are laughing at us for still playing these pathetic roles?
It's frightening, isn't it? Not knowing if you're entering an enlightenment phase or just a road to madness?
Don't be scared. When your mind succumbs to that depth, I got you. I'm always here. Always.
