Part 9

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Time seemed to rush by me in a haze of sleeping, eating and throwing up. I faced fears, I screamed till my throat was raw....
It was too much. I needed to get out of the house. I stumbled up and shakily walked out of the flat and slowly made my way down the stairs. It took so much energy that I sat on the bottom step, gasping for air. My body shook, the world seemed so bright. I took a breath and stood.
I made it to the beach just down the road and sat on a bench. My throat was dry and it made me gag. I closed my eyes and tried to focus my mind. That’s when I heard a familiar voice.
“I told you not to do that. That is my yacht and selling it ain’t gonna do shit"
I slowly opened my eyes and tilted my head towards the voice. What I saw made me turn my head quick, which made me dizzy.
It was him – it was Michael.
He couldn’t see me like this. I could feel the panic rising in me. I wanted to run, but he would see me. I put my head down and tried to hide myself. Thankfully he was too busy on his phone to see me sat there.
I watched as he walked away into the distance, I burst into tears, now craving Michael. Every part of me wanted to run to him, tell him I was there, to hold him and ask him why. But I couldn’t – not yet.

I went back to the flat and fell asleep. That night Angel’s and Demons flooded my dreams.

It was a week later when I felt ready to actually go and see Michael. Using the map and address Wade had given me, I made my way to Rockford Hills.
I had showered, shaved and put on the new clothes. I was shaking and not just from nerves. I approached a large house, long winding driveway right up to the house. A gardener was cutting the lawn as I opened the gate. I slowly made my way up to the front door and was just about to knock when I heard shouting from inside. I tried to listen but couldn’t tell what was going on.
“You little shit, I said not to sell my boat and what did you do? You sold it, so I had to get it back! So fuck you and your allowance"
I looked to see where the gardener was – still cutting the lawn – and then made my way round the side of the house.
This led to a back garden where a pool glistened in the sun, palm trees swaying. There was seating and yoga mats. It looked like a family home.
I started to panic. I didn’t want mine and Michaels first meeting to be a bad one.
I took a deep breath and made my way back to the front of the house. Maybe it was the wrong house and Michael was a few doors down?
“Can I help you"
The sound of the gardener speaking to me made me jump.
“ I’m looking for Michael Tow.... I mean DeSanta"
The gardener looked at me for a moment, then nodded. He went round the side of the house I had gone down and returned a few moments later saying,
“Go to back door, Mr DeSanta will be with you soon.
This was it – No Going Back....

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