Collateral Damage (snowbarry)

Moving On and Moving Out

Barry and Dr. Wells have made their way home for the evening. Caitlin and Cisco have been messing with the satellites for hours trying to find a way to make their maybe map a little less maybe.

"What if we target people who were near chemicals?" Cisco suggests

"Mardon wasn't near any chemicals. He was in a plane. The literal air gave him powers." Caitlin says. "What about heavy areas of dark matter that correlate with people who were injured that night? Hospital records?" She suggests.

"Hospitals didn't keep great records those first few weeks. Too many patients. And we can't be sure that everyone that was affected was actually injured that night." Cisco corrects.

They both let out heavy sighs and sink back in their chairs. There had to be a way to get some idea of how many people were affected and who that might have been. But Central City was a big city and there's no way of knowing where people were that night. For now, they decided to let the issue go and hope more metas don't show up.

"Caitlin.." Cisco started. He waited for her to turn around and look at him. "Barry's awake. There's nothing left to do here."

She could tell what he was suggesting.

"It's late." She didn't want to go to sleep in that place until Ronnie's stuff was gone.

"I'm not tired yet." Cisco responded. He knew where she was going with this, and he wasn't going to let her avoid it anymore. "Let's see what we can get done before breakfast." He smiled at her.

"Can uh...can we pick up something on the way?" She hesitated. She wasn't sure if he would agree to this, but it was worth a shot.

"Yeah. You're driving anyway." Caitlin always picks Cisco up for work. He refuses to buy a car. Says if he ever absolutely needs one he can just use the S.T.A.R. Labs SUVs. Cisco grabs her hand, shuts the lights off, and they head out.

After stopping by the liquor store and getting two bottles of tequila and a six pack of beer, they arrived at Caitlin's house that had been vacant for nine months.

She stepped out, Cisco holding the bag of liquor and the beer, and stared at her dark house. It was small. Her and Ronnie never wanted anything big. Something big enough that they could start a family there, but nothing too spacious. They liked the comfort of a small home. Ronnie happily grew up like that, and Caitlin had never felt it, so it worked for both of them.

The lawn was in serious need of maintenance and the front door squeaked when she opened it. When she stepped in it all came to her too quickly. It was like it hit her in the face the moment she stepped through the door. She had left the damn milk in the fridge. She doubled over and gagged.

"Dear lord what is that?" Cisco asked, sticking his head in the brown liquor bag to escape the smell.

"Milk...the sourest milk." Caitlin answered in a nasally voice as she plugged her nose.

Her and Cisco returned to the house an hour later with arm fulls of grocery bags with candy, cleaning supplies, trash bags, and boxes. They were now dressed in dollar store sweats and t shirts with elbow-high cleaning gloves and face masks. Both of them with their hair in high buns and headbands.

"Lets do this..." Caitlin muttered through her mask as she confidently walked to the kitchen. She was almost grateful for the immediate cleaning that needed done that had nothing to do with Ronnie. She needed to ease her way into letting him go.

After trying to sort through the contents of the fridge, Caitlin and Cisco agreed to just throw it all out. Caitlin finished searching for the last little bits of food that might be lying around while Cisco took the trash out. When he came back they got to work wiping out the fridge and the pantry hoping to finally make it safe to take off their face masks. When they finished, Caitlin having lost multiple kitchen utensils and almost all of her Tupperware to the task of avoiding touching gross things, they took off the cleaning gloves and face masks and tossed those out as well.

Cisco took in a deep breath. "That uh...sour milk smell really lingers doesn't it." He says, choking on his words a little.

Caitlin let out a small chuckle and walked over to open the kitchen window. When she came back, Cisco had already poured them each a glass of tequila. He handed her the bottle to put back in the freezer.

"You ready?" He asked holding his glass out to her.

She took a deep breath, "ready." She clinked her glass with his and they downed their first of many glasses that night.

Three hours later, approximately 4:00 am, Cisco and Caitlin are sitting in a pile of clothes in her and Ronnie's shared walk-in closet, laughing themselves to tears as Caitlin tells Cisco the story about Ronnie having a breakdown about having to get rid of some of his plaid shirts.

"He had 62 plaid shirts Cisco! I don't even have that many shirts." Caitlin barely got out in between her wheezing laughter. "It took him a week to decide. He even cut off a piece of the fabric from each of the shirts he gave away and kept them in a little box." Caitlin points to a little box sitting on the bottom shelf of the nightstand next to Ronnie's side of the bed.

Cisco bursts out in a guttural laugh, barely able to catch his breath.

After gathering up the boxes of clothes for donation, the trash bags to take out, and the burn pile, Caitlin and Cisco threw out their second empty bottle of tequila. The alcohol-induced light mood that had been present throughout the entirety of the cleaning process suddenly turned heavy.

Caitlin picked up the burn pile while Cisco grabbed three bottles of the beer they had bought. They had thrown out the other three. They walked out to Caitlin's back yard.

The items in the laundry basket had been placed in neat piles on top of a stack of wood. Caitlin struck a match and laid it in the middle of the wood pile. She did this with a few more matches, making sure each one caught some dry twig or piece of cloth that it could spread on. She stepped back when she was confident the fire would catch.

As the flames went up they scorched everything in the pile. Caitlin watched as months of wedding planning went up in flames. RSVP's, planning books, and such. A tear leaked out of her eye as she watched white lace and silk turn brown and then quickly to black. Cisco put his arm around her handing her two open bottles of beer, the third open in his hand. She leaned over and poured one bottle, Ronnie's favorite that was always kept in the fridge, over the fire. When it was empty, she dropped the bottle itself in and turned to clink her bottle with Cisco's.

Cisco's tears had been freely flowing for a while now. Caitlin stared at the fire, trying hard to visualize her grief burning away with it and into the, now dawn, sky. As the items in the fire became completely unrecognizable, Caitlin took the final swig of her beer and tossed it into the fire. She squatted down to the dwindling flames, spotting a single white bead that had not yet burned.

"Goodbye Ronnie," she muttered so quietly even she could barely hear it. The bead started to melt and Caitlin closed her eyes. "I love you."

She opened her eyes and looked up to keep the tears in. She stood up and walked past Cisco, stopping to put her hand on his shoulder, and made her way inside. Cisco broke out of his trance of staring at the flames. He followed Caitlin's actions and walked up, placing his bottle into the almost non-existent flames.

"I should have saved you..." Cisco choked out. His words getting caught in his throat. "I miss you, man." He looked up to the sky, as if looking at Ronnie himself. "I'm sorry."

He stood up and turned around to see Caitlin standing at the back door with her purse, his jacket, and car keys.

"Let's go get some breakfast." She said softly, smiling. A smile that crinkled the corners of her eyes and carried no pity or grief. Just love.

A/N:

Okay so I get that this is Snowbarry, but her grief over Ronnie is something that definitely helps bring them together in the show and will do the same here. It's important that it's established just how much she loved him. It also helps with her and Cisco.

So, they are all officially a team and Caitlin has moved back home. What's next!?

What were Caitlin and Cisco always doing when Barry was gone?

Peace and Love! -Ali