Between those Words (Montalban Series #1)

Kabanata 32

Kabanata 32

Criminal

A lot of people are passing by, minute by minute. Some are happy with the release of their loved ones. Some are crying while entering the hospital door, with blood covered all around their bodies. Some are silent. Some are mourning with their loss. It made me remember how I was so desperately crying for my father years ago. It brought a sudden but severe damage in my heart.

Ate Karrie guided me on the lobby to grab a coffee and rest my mind for a minute but it didn't help. Nanghihina ako... para akong nauupos na kandila. Sinubukan nila akong i-distract mula sa mga nasagap ko na balita pero wala ni isang nakatulong para magbago ang aking pakiramdam. Ate Ally find her way to me after receiving a call from ate Karrie telling her I was here in the hospital. She was holding me tightly while crying but I felt so worn out. Tulala lang ako at hindi na maka usap dahil hindi ko na alam kung paano tatanggapin ang lahat ng nangyayari sa paligid.

Just an hour after all the bad news pave their way to my being, a news was flashed on the tv screen of the hospital. The great bachelor of Montalban family is said to be engaged. One of the three twins are now finally engaged to Veryl Cortez, the great international model. At sino pa ba iyon kung hindi si Arion? With all that's happening right now, I don't think I can handle any more of it. Pakiramdam ko ay masisiraan na ako ng bait at muling mat-trauma. Nakaramdam ako ng matinding sakit ng mag flash iyon sa malaking tv screen pero hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit wala na akong mai-iyak.

Am I too tired and worn out to even shed a tear? Or maybe my mind is not just digesting any of these news. A part of me is still telling me to trust him and have faith in him. But what if the news is true? Hapong hapo ang aking katawan at magulo ang aking isipan. I thought we are doing good together? Or is it just me feeling that way? Was he fooling around with me all this time? Hindi ko maintindihan... para saan? Para maghiganti sa nagawa ko noon? I don't understand... Arion. I wish I could come to you so that my mind will be cleared, but that's not how it works.

Nanatili akong nakatungo at pilit na iniisip ang lahat. Iniisip ko at pinipilit kong inaanalisa ang kabuuan ng sitwasyon pero hirap na hirap ako. I can't absorb any fucking thing in my head!

Nawawala si ate Reign at wala pa rin kaming update tungkol sa kaniya. Hindi ko rin maharap ang paghahanap dahil nandito pa ako sa hospital at naghihintay sa results ng mga test ni Josh. Kuya Denis told me that Cassey is already in morgue. Napapikit ako ng mariin kasabay ng paninikip ng aking dibdib.

My precious little angel...

I shook my head. Napayuko ako at nanatiling tikom ang bibig. Muling nangilid ang aking mga luha ng maalala ang huling mga ngiting nakita ko sa kaniyang muka. Her sweet smile and her last words to me. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. Mag gagabi na ng umalis ako sa hospital para ayusin ang lamay ni Cassey. I felt bad for leaving Josh but I know he can wait for me. Sana magising na siya... Isa pa ito sa mga problema ko. Ang makausap si Josh ng maayos na ang lahat.

"Dito na po ito Ma'am?" tanong ng isang crew ng funeraria.

I nodded wearily as they placed the flowers in order. Nagsimula silang ikabit ang mga kandila, ang ilang mga kurtina pati na rin ang ilang mga upuan. The wake is inside the small chapel near the hospital. Wala pa ang labi ni Cassey at hihintayin ko itong makarating. This is not a dream right? Kasi kung oo, bakit ganito kasakit?

Muli akong napahagulhol sa iyak ng makita ang kabaong na sakto lang ang laki. My precious... I am all alone inside the chapel and some of the crews from the funeraria are trying to calm me down. They gave me water but I was too busy mourning to even utter a thankyou. Nahahapo ako habang lumalapit sa kabaong. I lost another family... I lost a sibling... I lost a friend. This is the kind of pain that I don't want to suffer anymore. Kasi alam ko kung gaano kasakit. I've been there... and now, I am here again, suffering the same kind of thing.