Lost and Found

eight

The match was a disaster all thanks to me putting the entire team off. Honestly, I should just pack my bags and ask Jill to book me a flight home. 

Walking through the bus aisle towards my empty row on the bus, I was lightly grabbed by Alex as I went to pass her seat. I flinched and jumped away from her causing her to frown at me in pity. 

"Kelley is going to go hang out with Allie after we've done recovery, do you want to come by and hang out with me for a bit?" She asked and I nodded. "Good, just come up to my room once you've changed into something comfy."

The atmosphere on the bus was extremely tense. Just as I felt like I was fitting in to the team and I might start to make some friends, everybody shut down. Losing was just something this team didn't do and yet, it had happened. 

Even once we were back at the hotel and in recovery, it was still eerily strange. No one was speaking to each other at all. Tomorrow, after our morning recovery, we would watch the film footage from the match and I could already tell that no one was looking forward to what Jill had to say regarding our performance today. In her eyes, anything less than a win was unacceptable. 

Although I hadn't played, I still took part in recovery but as soon as I'd finished I went and put clean sweats and a shirt on. Mal was playing on her phone in her bed so I let her know where I was going and headed over to Kelley and Alex's room.

As I was approaching the door, Kelley exited making me jump and causing her to smile. It was first person I'd seen smile since this morning.

"Just go in and make yourself at home Mini Morgs. Alex is still in the shower but she shouldn't be long. I'll see you later." She said as she held their door open for me.

Thanking her, I went in and climbed on one of the beds and straight away opened my facetime app. It was already getting late but I was hoping Scarlett hadn't fallen asleep yet and I could say goodnight to my baby.

My old foster mom, Mary, answered after only a couple of rings and I saw my favourite face. Instantly I felt better about my day.

"Mama." She said as she reached out to the phone, Mary just held it slightly out of her reach.

"Hiya baby. Mama misses you. What did you do today?" I asked as I heard the shower in the room turn off and could hear Alex fumbling around in the bathroom.

"Well we went to the park to walk Ozzy and we played on the swings." Mary answered for my little girl.

"Ozzy!" Scarlett shouted with a giggle.

Ozzy was Mary's dog and Scarlett loved to roll around and play with him. He may have been huge in comparison to her but he was so patient with her and they really were the best of friends. It was at this point that Alex decided to walk in and join me, her smile expanding when she could see who I was talking to. I moved the camera angle so I could show both Alex and I.

"Ah!" Mary exclaimed noticing my big sister. "And you must be Alex. I know all about you. I managed to watch bits of the game today, sorry you guys didn't win."

"Hi there. Yeah it's tough to not win but we'll get stronger and focussed from it." Alex answered. I watched as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I just wanted to say thank you to you for looking after Addison when we, as her real family, didn't step  up and be there for her. It means a lot to me and I know you still do a lot for her now and help with Scarlett so I just really want to thank you." 

Both Alex and Mary's eyes were now watering as I leaned up and kissed Alex's cheek. Mary just nodded, suddenly unable to speak so I decided to change the focus.

"Scarley, look at Mama." I said, easily gaining my child's attention. "This is your Auntie Alex. Can Scarley say Auntie?" I asked her.

I could also see Mary quietly prompting my shy, little girl.

"Awn-tee." She said quietly but loud enough for us to hear it. 

"Can you say Alex? Alex?" I asked her again.

"-Lex." She said making us all smile.

"Good girl Scarley. Can you say Auntie Alex?"I asked trying to get her to say the whole thing. I knew she was still little but she was already quite good at repeating words spoken to her.

"Awn-tee Lex."

"That's right Scarlett. I'm your Auntie Alex. I can't wait to come and play. You are honestly the cutest little thing ever. Wow! That's such a big yawn. I think you might be like your Mama and need to go to sleep." Alex cooed to her. I stayed quiet and just watched in amazement as Alex began to build up her bond with Scarlett and Scarlett was captivated by her.

Mary agreed that Scarlett should be sleeping and after a tearful goodbye from me. They hung up but I stayed beside Alex cuddling in to her on the bed.

"You have never been away this long from her have you?" Alex asked and I shook my head. I had already made my mind up- if I got called up again, there was no way I would leave her behind. 

I decided to stay in Alex's room that night. Jill didn't mind too much where we roomed after match days but I knew after today's locker room incident, just wouldn't say anything about me staying with Alex regardless. Alex wasn't very good at hiding her concern about me no matter how hard she was trying to but in all honesty, I didn't really mind. I missed having someone to lookout for me. Mary was great but she also had her hands full with her own life and couldn't be there for me twenty four seven. I already owed her so much with how much she helps out with Scarlett. 

 Alex tried to ask me some questions about my panic attack but I just told her I didn't want to talk about it and she respected that. I knew one day I'd be able to tell Alex everything and hopefully she would understand. I'm sure she had already began to make assumptions about my life from the little information I told her and start to piece together some of my past but she didn't push me about it.

Kelley came back from Allie's after a while and although she had her own bed, she insisted she got into Alex's so we could watch Netflix together. Kelley lifted the mood dramatically. I wasn't in a desperate need to go home now with her constantly winding up Alex and trying to make me laugh. We didn't really watch the film that was on but instead I listened to stories of them playing soccer together, places they've been, pranks Kelley had pulled on people. That was until Alex had enough of Kelley trying to embarrass her in front of me and physically kicked her out of the bed. Luckily enough, Kelley found it to be even funnier and just continued to tell stories from the hotel room floor.