Lost and Found

eighteen

It had been a couple of weeks now since we all left camp and Scarlett and I were finally back in our little routine of just the two of us. Every morning, we got up and I gave Scarlett her morning bottle while I got ready and then got her ready and in her stroller before heading out on a six mile run. Once we got back home, I'd sort breakfast for the both of us and get ready for school. I'd drop Scarlett at daycare on the way to my classes and like before, if I had training, Mary would pick her up and look after her, otherwise, I'd get her and then we'd spend our evenings together- not forgetting to call her Auntie Lex though.

Tonight, we were cuddled up on the sofa speaking to Alex as well as Kelley and Christen, seeing as they lived together during the season. The girls all kept the conversation lighthearted and fun, mostly trying to get Scarlett's attention or in Kelley's case, trying to get Scarlett to laugh at her. Scarlett wasn't in the mood for interacting with them and was definitely starting to get cranking so I went and made her nighttime bottle and fed her while the girls quietly updated me on their pre-season training. Knowing my club was not at the standard I should be working at, Alex had been sending me drills I should be doing to keep my fitness up and keep improving my technique. I tried to focus on what everyone was saying but my eyes kept wandering back to the now sleeping baby in my arms.

"Guys I'm just going to put her to bed now. I'll only be a minute."

I slowly stood up with Scarlett's limp body in my arms and heading to her nursery, taking my phone with me so I could still hear everyone. I placed the phone down with a view of the crib so the girls would be able to see it. I rocked her for a moment in my arms just cherishing these perfect little moments with my baby before softly kissing her forehead. Knowing the girls were waiting on me, I placed her in and covered her little body with a blanket.

"Night night baby girl. Mama loves you so much." I whispered before grabbing my phone again and sneaking out the room, making sure to turn the baby monitor on as I left in case she cried.

"First of all, you are the cutest Momma ever." Kelley told me once I had returned to my living room and collapsed on my sofa. "And second, have you heard anything more from you know who?"

"Not since that text as I was leaving camp. She's not even talked on our group chat and we all talk just about every day on it." I told them.

"I've been speaking to Tobin and apparently she's always asking her and Sonnett if they as any updates on you and if you're doing okay." Christen said joining in.

"Is it bad that I miss her?" I mumbled to them but I could tell by their faces that they could all hear.

"No Addie, it's not." Alex said.

It was Alex that I looked up to most, even more so now we had reconnected, so it was her advice I was most keen to hear.

"I don't think it was ever her intention to hurt you- she's just not that sort of person. I do believe she went about everything the wrong way. You just need to spend some time thinking about your decision and make sure it's the right one for you and Scarlett. Whatever you decide to do, we still love you and we're here for you."

"Thank you."

That night I took Alex's advice and began to really start thinking about what I wanted and how I wanted to move forward from the situation. I did really miss Lindsey. She's was loud and bubbly when we were with our friends and she brought me out of my shell with her but she was also calm and comforting when I needed her to be and I truly did love that about her. But she had hurt me. Badly. I didn't know what the clear solution was and although Alex had told me to wait until I was one hundred percent certain, my gut told me otherwise.