I don't want to walk hand in hand

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Fear is a companion, not an emotion. Fear grows with you. In childhood it was the fear of losing your friend in park and in adulthood it is the fear of you losing me in crowd. You clasp my hand tightly hoping that if you hold on you won't lose me. Sometimes I want to let it go because the grip hurts.

Your real fear is not that if you would let go the hand, because you know you can always hold it again. Your real fear is if I would not want to hold on again.

Here, let me introduce you to your lesser known companion, the one who is hidden in shadow of fear. The trust. How much trust do you have on me? How much trust do I have on you? Unlike fear that grows by brooding over thoughts, trust grows by actions.

No! I am not asking you to be my lapdog. I would rather adopt one. I know, no one can be available 24/7 to offer a shoulder to cry on or support to walk every time I need it. It just happens in movies. Trust comes by standing in background and let others dare to do the deed on their own.

Remember how your dad had let go your bicycle when you were learning to ride? He let you wobble, perhaps let you fall but after that he just smiled and encouraged you to try again. You did hop on the bike to try again. He feared you would hurt yourselves but not once did he stop you. That day when you laughed with joy tasting your sweet success, you may not have seen but your dad smiled wider that you.

What was that moment?

His trust in you that you can do it and your trust in him that he won't laugh on you failure overpowered you fear of falling.

You both won that fight years ago and I am asking you nothing more. Join me in a similar fight.

For once, just tell me, you may not be there to pick me up or to wipe my tears. I can do that on my own. But tell you will be there to give me a gentle push again.

Let's gain trust and overcome the fear. Because my hand is really aching now.

I do not want to walk hand in hand anymore. I want to walk shoulder to shoulder with you.

Love,

Vaish

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