Finding Purpose

Bewilderment

Justin retrieved Wyatt's car seat from the back of Joey's car, saving me from the unhappy task. He stood watch and talked me through safely fitting and then fastening Wyatt into the seat. It wasn't as daunting as I thought it would be, and I managed to do it pretty easily overall, meaning that in just a few minutes, we were driving off down the street.

"Is there anything else you need to do today?" He asked, his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

"Just going to the store. I have to get some formula, Reia was still breastfeeding."

I glanced behind me at Wyatt, who was happily cuddling and suckling his favourite stuffed teddy bear.

"Then we'll head there first, make sure that you can get everything you need before going back to yours."

My eyes darted back to his, my brows arching in a teasing manner at what he'd just said. He seemed to have realised his mistake as he swore under his breath, then ran his fingers through his hair, quickly casting a glance in my direction before attempting to back track.

"I didn't mean... I was trying to say-"

His stumbling attempt to clarify his meaning was rather amusing, but I took pity on him and let out a small laugh.

"It's alright, I knew what you meant."

He laughed in relief and smiled at me, coming to a stop at the traffic lights.

"Good. I wouldn't want you to think I was trying to take advantage or anything."

As I looked at him, I could see the genuine kindness that shone in him. There was no way that I could even begin to think that he was trying to take advantage. There was something that Justin just had. A quality of sorts that emanated from him, bathing everyone around him in a warmth. I'd felt it from the moment that he arrived this morning. The help that he gave was out of kindness, not hidden agendas.

"I don't think that at all." I replied honestly. "I'm very grateful for everything that you've done for me... for us, since yesterday."

The lights changed, and Justin dipped his head once in acknowledgement of my words.

"You're welcome." He said, releasing the handbrake and taking us forward.

"You don't have to take us to the store though. I don't expect you to spend your day off ferrying us around."

"Trust me, I don't mind. Besides, when you have a baby with you, you're best not to keep stopping and moving the little might around too much. That's how you end up with a bouncing bundle of hyperactivity."

He took us into town, and pulled up outside of the supermarket. I only needed to get some basic supplies. Nappies, wipes and formula. I went to get out of the car the same way that I always did, and then remembered Wyatt. Looking into the back, I saw that he was asleep, his teddy bear laying across his lap.

"It's okay, you go ahead, I'll keep him here with me. He's safe, I swear." Justin said reassuringly.

It felt strange to leave him alone with someone that I'd only known for a day. But Justin was a cop, and I trusted him. Besides, I had more than I knew how to handle, now on my plate. Another life to be responsible for, child to raise, to mould and to be there for. I was on my own for the foreseeable future in so many ways, I couldn't afford to refuse the help on the little things when it was offered.

"Thanks. I'll be as quick as I can." I said, picking up my purse and jumping out of the car.

Inside the store, I headed straight for the baby aisle. Stopping in front of the nappies and wipes, I just stared at them, the numerous brands and sizes, varieties and prices all swam through my head. I couldn't make head nor tail of them all. I had no idea how many minutes passed with me just standing there.