i love you too f.w

veintiseis

Finn

I paced back and forth.

Should I call her?

God, what do I even say? Would she even answer? Would she even to listen to me? Even if she does I doubt she'd come see me. Or even bring the kids.

I knew this idea was stupid but I wanted to see her. Y/N was my everything. I went two years without seeing her and it was like torture. I missed the kids. Jack, Jaeden, Wyatt and Jessica. Chosen and Sophia. Would they forgive me? They were all like my family. They're all I have. Their forgiveness was my priority. I couldn't have them hate me forever. I needed them in my life. Growing up they were more of a family to me than my own. They looked out for me and helped me when I needed it most.

I hadn't left my the rehab center in a month. I stuck to my routine. Stayed in my room, talked to Evan, went to the check ups and occasionally went outside but then came back to my room after an hour.Maybe that's why I've been so tense. I haven't seen the real world in so long, I got used to the same four white walls.

I grabbed the picture of Y/N and the kids and put it in my wallet. I always did this when I left, that way it felt like they were with me.

I made my way to the front and talked to the girl at the desk.

"Hi Mr. Wolfhard." She smiled. I smiled back.

"I told you, call me Finn. 'Mr. Wolfhard' makes me feel old." I chucked.

"My bad," she giggled. "What can I do for you?"

"Can you write me in? I'm going out for a bit." I leaned on the table. She nodded and turned to the computer.

"Alright and what time will you be back?" She asked.

"What's the latest?"

"For you," she moved farther down the screen. "Seven."

"Then seven." I said. She turned back and put it into the system. She printed out a piece of paper and handed it back to me.

"Be sure to give this back to Evan when you come back." She handed me the paper.

"Bye, Finn." She smiled. I smiled back and headed out. I looked down at the paper and saw a green sticky note attached to it.

Call me sometime :)

Her number next to it.

I folded the paper and threw it away.

I started walking to the house. When ever I came out, that was always the first and long place I wanted to go. Home. It gave me a sense of hope that things could go back to the way they used to be.

I opened the door and walked in. I remembered when Y/N and I first bought the house. She was so excited. All she could do was talk about how excited she was to decorate it and how she would decorate.

"We can put the couch here." She pointed. "No, here."

"Babe we don't even have furniture yet." I chuckled, hugging her from behind.

"I know, I just want to get an idea." She smiled.

That day was the start of our life together, as a couple. Bringing in three kids was the second biggest thing he did. Y/N and I were so excited to be parents. I knew I was. I wanted to be able to give my kid everything. I had a chance to do things my father never did.

"I'm gonna be such a good dad." I'd tell her.

I walked into our room. I went in to grab some things I forgot the last time I was here.

I looked at Y/N's side of the nightstand. Her favorite book was still here. The book I never let her finish.

"Finn!" She'd laugh. "I'm trying to read."

"You can read later." I'd pull the book away from her and kiss her neck.

"I'm never gonna finish it." She'd smile.

"That means spending more time with me." I smirked, kissing her.

Her book mark was still in the same place. I picked up the book and opened it to where the book mark was. I read the page she left off on. I turned the book over. I never learned the name of it. Kindred.

I had started to read the first few pages when I heard the front door open. I got up and walked out of the room.

Y/N.

She stood there, looking at me.

My heart started beating fast and my stomach was in a knot. This was my first time seeing her in two years. I didn't know what to say to her.

"Y/N." I smiled.

Y/N

My heart dropped. I didn't know what to feel. I was happy, scared, nervous. It had only been two years but it felt like forever. As much as I hate to admit it, I missed him.

He started walking up to me then stopped. He could tell how uncomfortable I was.

"Y/N, I-I'm so sorry." His eyes started to fill with tears. "I'm so, so sorry for everything I did to you and the kids. I was drunk and I know that's not an excuse but I wasn't thinking straight. Forgive me, please. I love you and the kids so much. I've been trying to change for you guys. I'm almost two years sober now. I'm in rehab. The only thing that kept me going was you. I wanted to get better for you."

He had tears running down his cheeks.

"I was in there for two years and I had no one. I missed my family. I missed you, Y/N. Your hugs, your kisses. I took all those thing for granted. I had the perfect life and I fucked it up for myself." He cried. He looked down at my hand.

"Where's your ring?" He asked. "D-do you not love me anymore?"

"Finn," I felt a lump in my throat begin to form. "Of course I still love you."

"Can I hug you?" He asked. "Please?"

I nodded. He came closer and slowly wrapped his arms around me. I did the same, burying my face in his chest. I hadn't hugged him in so long, I missed this.

"I love you." He sniffed.

I missed him so much. I knew he had hurt me and the kids but I still loved him. I knew Finn better than anyone else and I believed him when he said he was changing. Finn always told me he wanted to quit drinking and wanted to be a better version of himself.

"I'm doing better for you and the kids." He cried.

I was torn. This man had hurt me and people he claimed to love. But then again, I knew him. His one goal in his life time was to change who he used to be. He didn't want to be like his dad. As much as it hurts to say, I forgave him.

"I believe you," I felt a tear slid down my cheek. "And I forgive you."

hi

okay so first of all, i feel like i need to explain this. y/n forgave finn very easily because this is something that's sadly very common in domestic abuse survivors. they usually always forgive the other person which is wrong. ive seen it first hand and it's heart breaking and somewhat angering. now, y/n forgives him for that reason AND because she knows that finn WANTS to change.

second, please don't go back to an abusive or toxic relationship. please. they will manipulate you into staying, making you feel bad or guilty for leaving them. please don't go back. no matter what they say. you are worth so much more and deserve so much more. call the police if you are being attacked or file a report. trust me bby you deserve more 💕

take care you guys 💕

-k💕