Hidden Secrets

Angel of Death

*Okay, I give up! I can’t for the life of me write in 3rd person. This story is already out of my comfort zone because it has a lot more serious and sad parts than what I’m use to. Every time I write I get a headache and it just takes all of the fun out of writing this story. So, I hope you guys don’t mind but from now on I am going to write in 1st person (: This means that hopefully I will update a lot more frequently because I don’t have to think about and process what I am going to write as much as I have to when I write in 3rd person.*

That was the unbearable thing: having to go on, after your life has been ripped apart, while you struggle to understand how in a split second the whole world has unbelievably changed –Clare Curzon

Castiel’s POV

I tune out all the commotion around me as I stare blankly at the white tile floor. I occasionally look up to see nurses in light blue scrubs running about and people walking in and out of the emergency room doors but I don’t hear them.

I got to the hospital about two hours ago, right after my mom went into surgery. My Dad still hasn’t shown up even though the police officers who brought me to the hospital promised that they called him and he said he was coming as soon as he can. I know the bastard doesn’t care and probably won’t show up until it’s too late.

The police officer goes unnoticed until he waves his hand in front of my face, getting my attention. When I look up I notice that it is a new officer and not one of the ones that brought me here. “Novak?” he says is a ruff voice.

“Yeah?” I say in an almost inaudible voice.

“I’m Officer Singer, are you here alone or-” Mr. Singer asks as he glances around the room in search of my douchebag of a father.

“It’s just me,” I say in a deadpan voice before looking back to the white tile I have spent the last two hours staring at. I hear the doors to the hospital open and when I glance up I see my dad walking towards the officer and I. “Where have you been?!” I growl as I stand up, fists balled up in rage.

“Don’t talk to me like that boy. Sit down,” he snaps before turning to the officer, “What happened.”

“Where were you?” I ask him, my voice growing in volume.

“I was busy Castiel, now drop it,” he says in a stern voice.

“DROP IT?! MY MOTHER IS ON THE VERGE OF DEATH AND YOU WERE TOO FUCKING BUSY TO COME TO THE GOD DAMN FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU PIECE OF SHIT?!” I yell in his face as I take a step closer to him, ready to fight.

“Let’s take this outside gentlemen,” Mr. Singer says as he puts a calming hand on my shoulder, pulling me away. I sigh and walk past both of them towards the doors of the hospital. They follow and once we’re out in the cold afternoon air I turn to face them.

“Now that you are done being a drama queen,” Gadreel says to me before turning to Mr. Singer, “What happened to my wife?” I bite my tongue and look to the officer as well. 

“She got hit by a drunk Fed Ex driver,” he says looking between us. “Her seatbelt broke and her airbag didn’t go off. She went through the windshield. When we got there she was barely breathing.” I take a deep breath fighting back the flood of tears that are threatening to escape my eyes.

“So she’s not dead?” my dad asks in a careless tone like it wouldn’t affect him if she was.

“No. But, she went into surgery a while ago so we should get a report from the doctor soon,” Mr. Singer tells us. I turn away from them and walk back into the hospital. A Doctor in a long white coat walks into the waiting room the same time I do.

He glances down at the clipboard in his hand, “Novak?”

“That’s me,” my dad says from behind me. The doctor walks up to him and shakes his hand, giving him a sad look.

“Well Mr. Novak your wife received many fatal wounds. We tried the best we could but…she didn’t make it,” the doctor says with an apologetic tone. The lights above us blow up as I realize what exactly the doctor was telling us. The waiting room is filled with yelling as emergency lights flicker on.

“Castiel Milton Novak go outside now,” my dad says in a pissed tone. When I don’t move, starring at the pale green walls in shock, he grabs my shoulder and drags me to the hospital doors and out into the cold air. He pushes me away from him roughly once we get to the ally next to the building where no one can see us. “What the hell was that?” he yells. “You are going to go to the car and calm down. You got that?” When I don’t look up or acknowledge him he shakes my shoulder almost causing me to fall over.

“Don’t touch me!” I growl glaring up at him.

“I told you not to talk to me like that Castiel,” he snaps before hitting me across the head. My ears ring and when he goes to hit me again he flies back against the hospital wall.

“And I told you not to fucking touch me you fucking douchbag!” I yell. His face is a look of pure fear, knowing exactly what I’m capable of. I see red and can’t think straight.

“Castiel,” he gasps out, not able to breathe.

“Shut up,” I growl before backing up to the wall across from him and sliding down to the cold, hard, concrete sidewalk.

“He can’t breathe Castiel,” the sweet voice of Jessica Moore whispers beside me. Jessica started appearing to me about three years ago after her boyfriend Brady had killed her in college after a big fight. He had cut open her stomach and set the house on fire. She is a nice girl, only appearing when I want her too or I need her help. “You don’t want to be a killer. Let him go,” she says in a soft voice. Without opening my eyes I release him.

I hear him fall to the cold ground and gasp for air. “I should send you away,” he says in a rough raspy voice once he gets his breath back. I open my eyes to see him sit up slowly. “Far away…But,” he coughs, “you hate me. Which means you want to be as far away from me as you can be. So, if I keep you here it will be a worse punishment.” He gives me an evil smile.

“Don’t let him get to you. You’re better than this,” Jess comforts me.

I take a deep breath before standing up, “Pull yourself together Gadreel you have to go figure out what happens from here. I’m going home.” I walk away before he has time to reply. I walk past the hospital doors, past the car, and out of the parking lot towards my house.

“I’m sorry,” Jess says in a sad tone as she walks beside me. I don’t answer her as I kick a Pepsi can into the street. “Do you want me to go?” she asks.

“Thank you Jess but yes I would like to be alone for now,” I say in a monotone voice. Without another word she disappears.

I continue to walk as tears start to roll down my face. When a gush of cold wind whips around me I shiver. My mom…my mom is dead. The only person who has ever loved me is dead.  

The thought cripples me and when a park comes into view I make my way over to a patch of tall trees. I fall down at the base of the biggest one and curl up into a ball. As I start to hyperventilate I hear a soft meow. I open my eyes and see a kitten about eight weeks old shivering and starving crawling towards me slowly. It has medium length black and white fur that is dirty and matted down. I hold out my hand as my breathing slows. The kitten comes closer before smelling my fingers hesitantly.

“I won’t hurt you,” I whisper. The kitten moves closer and when I pick it up it doesn’t run away. “Where’s your Mom little guy?” I sit up, pulling the kitten against my chest. The kitten snuggles into my trench coat, trying to find warmth. I wipe my eyes before using both of my arms to make sure the kitten in secure before standing up. I walk around the park to make sure that the kitten’s mom isn’t there or that there isn’t any other kittens. “Looks like you’re alone,” I say in a sad tone. “It’s okay little buddy I am too,” a few tears escape my eyes, “I’m going to take you home. We don’t have to be alone,” I say to the tiny cat who is looking up from my arms with its big green eyes.

*I know, no Dean this chapter but I promise next chapter there will be a lot of him!*