intertwined (colby brock fanfiction)

chapter ninety-six

"how are you?" i finally decide to break the silence that has comfortably consumed the two of us while we both sit on his bed.

"i'm getting by," he shrugs and i find myself wanting to ask him about it. i would appreciate if he told me every detail of his life, and i'd love to give my input and try to help. but i can't do that, because i can't be here in the first place. it's been four years since we broke up, and even though i never stopped thinking of him—i thought i was past this.

"i should go..." my voice sounds distant as i stand from my place on his bed and begin walking away from him. i am pleased when he calls out to me as i am about to reach the stairs. "meda, wait!" his voice sounds desperate, and i am glad to hear it. i hope he feels the same as me right now, oddly fulfilled by his presence alone. i don't want to leave, i just knew i had to unless he told me otherwise.

"your phone fell out of your pocket," he hands my phone out to me as i turn around and i lose it at that. he isn't trying to get me to stay, he's just returning my phone to me. for all i know, he couldn't care less about me staying or not.

"please don't leave..." he surprises me with a quiet plea. thank god, i thought you'd never ask.

he is standing close, too close. i can feel him surrounding me emotionally and physically, when he wraps his arms around me and embraces me in a hug. his touch is just as i remembered it. this moment is perfect, we are perfect. right now, there is no pain. there is no misery when i can feel his skin on top of mine. i am thankful for the contact between his arms and my waist, the way our skins connect, burn, and burst just like they used to.

"colby..." i am breathless, i am shocked by this night. i am absolutely stunned by how this happened.

"please, don't leave," he repeats himself and i realize i never assured him that i wouldn't walk away after the first time he told me not to. "i'm not," i speak softly as he pulls away from me. i pretend not to notice the way his eyes flicker down to my lips and then back up to my eyes at the speed of light. if i wasn't with nick, i'd kiss him right now. i'd leave every bit of my pride at the door and come back to the man i knew i always loved. but this is not an alternate universe, and i have a boyfriend. i can not kiss colby right now, despite how much i am longing to.

"i know... i know about him," he reads my mind as i back away subtly. i need to be farther from him if i am going to maintain my self control.

"i'm sorry..." i quietly apologize, even though i am not sure why. he is by all meanings of the word responsible for our breakup, but i still feel bad now that we are here—together—after all this time, and i can't kiss him to replace the ache in my heart.

"why don't you come back to my room?" he asks politely and my heart pulses at the fact that he called it his own. it makes me happy that he lives here, in the place i thought i had lost forever.

"okay," i say quietly and follow his lead back into the bedroom filled with memories. for a second, i consider the idea that maybe i am dreaming right now. maybe this isn't real, so kissing him wouldn't do me any harm right? if it's all in my head, how can i mess that up?

"are you okay?" he asks and i realize i have been hovering above his bed for an extended amount of time. "yeah, sorry, just thinking..." i trail off and sit down next to the boy.

"what are you thinking about?"

the fact that fate aligned us perfectly and that i am here right now, with you—in the house that i thought of as our place. the fact that we are strangers right now, despite knowing intimate details about each other, like the freckle you have on your hip. the fact that i haven't been able to get you out of my mind completely for four years, and now you're finally here in front of me. the fact that you asked me to come back to your room, you didn't command me. the way you hugged me and how my skin is still burning where our skin touched.