The Butterflies from Last Winter

The Obsessed Mind

17 July 2017

What is life? How do you live it? What is the meaning of life when your mind is a puppet of you and you, unmindfully, are driving it to the wrong path, is there anything you can say?

I am currently suffering from random multiple thoughts that ain't supposed to be in my head. Also, I'm terrorized at the thought that my exams were almost three months away and I STILL sucked in the class tests. My grades were nowhere near my parents' expectations, nor enough satisfying to me.

The teachers discussed a lot about my sudden degradation and and they, too, agreed that I had been a really whimsy idiot who had ignored her studies because of video games. AND worthless videos.

I mean, it is okay for any child to play games or watch videos besides study and co-curricular activities are always welcome. But when you take things to an excess and drive yourself into obsession, it is NOT OKAY.

After all, one should remember, obsession and passion are completely different terms.

However, there I was, listening to the lectures of my mom, my dad, my homeroom teacher, Ms. Nevarra and the principal, Ms. McIvory at the principal's office.

"Noria, do you know how worse are you getting day by day? You're spending 90% of your day in using phones," mom said.

"That's pretty bad, Noria. You shouldn't do it," Ms. McIvory added.

"Ok ok fiiiinee.....", I thought, wishing for this to get over any sooner.

"Ma'am, you've no idea how whimsical your daughter has become, recently she always has her head in the clouds. Please don't mind but I think she's being distracted by something or someone..." Ms. Nevarra complained, finishing the sentence with a slightly curious tone and with a dramatic move. Her spectacles shone bright as she pushed it slightly with her index, reminding me of those scary characters in anime.

"Is that true Noria?" Mom gasped while my mind began to jam due to the fact whatever was going on with me was legit UNFAIR.

Because I SWEAR that I have NONE in mind and nor will I ever. I was a person defying all romantic ideals and I HATED LOVE STORIES. Besides, I couldn't find a reason why Ms. Nevarra would be so evil, while throughout my middle school life I saw her as the nicest person in the school. Moreover, the thought of the aftermath of this meeting was making me feel like crying. I tried to hold my tears back, letting my emotions jam in my mind and make me feel strangled. It felt like as if I swallowed a big stone and it was stuck in the throat, causing me headaches.

"Mom, I-"

"Oh yes I remember. Noria! Did you show her your results of last class test?" Ms. Nevarra didn't seem to be satisfied with the dramatic environment, so she decided to add more spice to the drama, and ofcourse, salt to my bleeding wounds.

And I definitely remember that I scored 2 out of 10 in English Grammar. So, I decided to hide it.

"No ma'am, she didn't. What's wrong Noria? Where is your answer paper?" Mom's fury raised on higher levels while I sat straight with my vision steady on the ground. I had nothing else to do other than going through this, but somehow my anger wasn't following my orders and it was at it's highest limits.

I didn't answer anything.

"Noria?"

I still stayed quiet. Her voice echoed throughout my mind as if I was standing in a huge hall of grey walls. It's all over.

"Noria?"

There's no way to escape. I have to burn in hell.

"NORIA!'