Fine line (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter Six

"Okay, so what are you wearing?"

Gemma drapes herself lazily on the corner of my bed, talking aimlessly while scrolling through her phone.

"Really?" I scoff, "Thats all you have to say about this entire situation?"

She looks up at me and rolls her eyes dramatically. That's my sister for you. Lowkey, but still some how a drama queen.

"Harry, think about this."

I stare back at her, not knowing where this proposition is going.

"First of all," Gemma stands now, approaching me nonchalantly, "It's the Grammys. Only the most iconic awards show of all time."

She isn't wrong. Plus, it's my first solo nomination, and though I doubt I'll win, it's still a huge honor.

"Second of all," she continues in a more serious tone, "this might be the first time you see him in years. You wanna look good don't you?"

"Oh," I scoff, "so I have to try to look good now, is that what you're saying?"

She chuckles and I smile in return, but there's a trace of tension in the air. I invited Gemma early to explain what was going on, that's true, but I also invited her because, frankly, the thought of brooding with this anxiety alone made me uneasy.

We'd always been close, even in our childhood, and we've only grown closer since. I've always felt lucky knowing I had a best friend for life.

But though the nature of our relationship was soothing to me, Gemma has had to deal with a lot in the past few years. She lived and grew through the birth of One Direction, and of course she was there for the end of it.

Needless to say, there's been a lot of sleepless nights for Gemma Styles.

Finally, the silence broke.

"You know, Harry..."

Here it comes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"You want me to ditch the Grammys? I mean I know we're trying for the whole "edgy" thing here but the Grammys," I pull a comedic face, "could be a little over the top there, Gem."

She shoves me humorously and continues on.

"No, you dimwit. I'm talking about everything else. Seeing Louis, potentially talking to him."

"I need to get answers, Gem," I almost choke out the words, unable to meet her gaze. "It's been too long. You know that."

"I know, Harry. I can't imagine, and I'm sorry that you've had to wait so long. All I'm saying is...well, are you sure you're ready?"

I ponder this thought for a moment and wonder if even I know the answer myself.

"Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be. But it's something I have to do. It's something I should've done a long time ago. I can't preach the idea of honesty and acceptance if I can't practice the idea myself. All these years, I've never been sure of who I was. And maybe that's because I never got the answers that determined it."

Gemma sighs, and I can tell that she's genuinely worried. She's an amazing sister, Gem, but a bit overprotective at times. Who can blame her though, with everything she's witnessed.

"I agree, Harry. Truly, I do. I'm just worried about you. I know it's been a long time, but the last time you spoke to him didn't end well. It killed me, seeing you the way you were after, and it took months to get you back to normal, years even, for you to fully heal. I just don't want you getting hurt again."

I smile down at her lovingly and take one of her small hands in mine.

"I know. And I'm sorry that you had to go through it with me. But you said it yourself - it's been a long time. I've grown, and I've healed. I know you don't want to see me in pain, but what's truly killing me is not knowing."

I close my eyes as if the words I'm looking to find are plastered somewhere in the back of my brain.

"I just feel like," I speak softly, "Something inside of me needs this. Needs the closure. And then maybe I'll finally be able to move on."

Gemma nods sympathetic to and pulls me into a hug, something I'm not very fond of if not from her.

"I just want to keep you safe, haz."

I chuckle and gently pull her away.

"Hey, that's my job. I'm the big brother, arent I?"

"Just because you're bigger," She scoffs, "doesn't make you older."

We both laugh once more, but a tiny ounce of tension still lingers. As Gemma pulls away further from me, I catch a glimmer of hesitance in her eyes.

"Harry?"

"Yeah, Gem?"

Her voice is small now, almost like she's afraid she's making a mistake.

"What if you don't like the answers he gives you? What if it's what you never wanted to hear?"

I'd thought about this too. Obsessed over it, almost. A million scenarios of how our meeting would go down played in my head like scenes from a movie, and each one had a different ending. It was terrifying. But at least it was something.

"An answer is an answer. It's the silence I can't take, Gem. The uncertainty. I need to know what's realky