Within You Without You ~ George Harrison/The Beatles

Chapter Four: India

"I actually love bungalows so much," Connie called as she finished unpacking their things in the bedroom, making her way to George as he was sat out onto the porch balcony, sat on the steps tuning his guitar.

"Well that's good conisdering we live in one back home," he spoke without looking up from his guitar, plucking one of the strings as he tested the tuning, his tone dry as he joked.

"You know what I mean, this one's a lot more minimal than home," she rolled her eyes as she moved to sit down next to him on the steps, looking out at the compound around them. "Not that the rest of this is minimal though,"

The compound of the Marharishi's ashram was actually rather scenic. Connie had an ominous idea on the coach from the airport as she battled travel sickness that all the beautiful scenery they were passing wasn't going to continue far enough out to where they were staying, but as they'd walked through a forest to get to their bungalow, backing onto the view of mountains and the ganges, she was rather pleased with it all. The bungalow was small, but she knew it was a lot grander than the ones stayed in by the guests who weren't celebrities. The best part of the bungalow was the access to the roof, and she couldn't help but wish to spend a night up there, looking up at the stars.

A perk of the bungalows was also how close they all were to each other, positioned in an arc, with Connie and George's being central to that arc. Florence had been given her own, right next door to Connie and George's, and on the other side was Paul and Jane's. It was almost exciting to Connie, considering she'd not lived next door to Paul since she was eighteen, not that she'd let him know she was excited at the prospect of their bungalows being next to each other. It was something that worked to her advantage though, since one of the things she wanted to get from the trip was to reconnect with her friends. Of course they were there for the learning experience to meditate, but it was also an opportunity to be with her friends without the pressure of any of their jobs.

In fact, she could hardly remember the last time she hung out with any of them on their own without George being there and it not be for work. She'd spent a lot of time with them all when they were working on Mystery Tour, but that had been for work, and she'd vowed never to work with them again unless it was for an interview or something with the New Times because of how intolerable they all were. Either they were disagreeing on the direction of the film or they were getting high, which was fine sometimes. Connie had no problem with them getting stoned, she did it with them too, but not when they were all working. When they finished the film and her work with them was done she was grateful to go back to the New Times and to not have to put up with their bickering over the film, but even so, she missed her friends and she missed hanging out with them. Nothing was ever going to be like it was when they were teenagers when they used to spend hours in her kitchen or back room doing nothing in particular but enjoying each other's company, but it would be nice to feel that sense of togetherness again.

Connie hadn't felt that sense of togetherness with herself and the band for a while, at least for a few months. Marrying George had been the greatest decision of her life, but being his wife meant that she struggled to remain unbiased in group disagreements like she used to be able to, and they seemed to have a lot more disagreements than they used to. It was only natural since they all had their own personalities and interests and each of them wanted to do something different with the music, but for once Connie couldn't help them. Over the last few months she'd felt less like their mate and more like George's wife. She liked being George's wife, but after a lifetime of being a mate to each of them, it felt strange to no longer be the exception to the 'no girls' rule.

She'd not told anyone she'd felt left out or forgotten. Usually she'd tell Ruby or Cilla her problems, since they were her only girl friends in London that didn't have a connection to the band, but she couldn't tell them that particular problem because she didn't want them to think she was being ridiculous. She'd not told Florence because it seemed like a lot to say over the phone or in a letter and the opportunity to tell her all of it in person hadn't arisen yet. Regardless, none of them would understand. None of them knew the Beatles like Connie did, and if even she was starting to feel like she didn't know them anymore, how could she articulate her feelings to anyone else?