Love, Fate and Other Things I'm over

prologue

prologue

the news

"We've taken the blood sample for testing and unfortunately your readings have come back positive. Your Blood Sugar Levels were too high to register on the reader, but we estimate they were somewhere between thirty-two and thirty-four." The doctor looked at his clipboard, flipping through the sheets on the board, frowning slightly- clearly the news was bad. My palms were sweating profusely, and I could hear my heart racing wildly, as if it were a rabbit on steroids.

My mum held my sweaty hands, clasped in her strong palms, I felt a little more secure. She watched the doctor with keen eyes, "Well, what does that mean?"

I read his name tag, it was placed neatly on his crisp white doctor's coat, Dr. Moore.

Doctor Moore sighed once before sitting himself on the end of my hospital bed, I moved my jean covered legs up higher to make room for him, the hospital beds weren't very large, even compared to my small frame.

"It means that your daughter has type one Diabetes. We suspect," he lifted his gaze to me, talking to me directly now, "that it has been present for about a year, judging by the symptoms described. It's a miracle she hasn't been brought in earlier, she could've become very sick and then it would have been much harder for us to treat her. The IV in her arm there is only precautionary now, but it could have been much more vital." My attention diverted to the needle currently residing in my arm that was attached to a bag of water on a metal pole. I knew there was a much more technical process to it than that, but that was hardly what was on my mind.

I was almost certain that my heart had stopped beating. My worst fears were officially confirmed, and I wasn't sure how to cope.

At all.

I'd done my research, googled all the strange symptoms I'd been having over a hundred times. Each search result told me the same thing, that I either had cancer and would die in three days...or I was an undiagnosed diabetic.

I had made my mum book a doctor's appointment after I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't sleeping well, and when I was awake wasn't much better. I was tired all the time, falling asleep in class, I was eating more than my dad at dinner time, all throughout the day- yet I was losing weight. My limbs were constantly lethargic, and I was drinking an abundance of water. I was also going to the bathroom every half an hour and I just couldn't stomach continuing on like that much longer.

I didn't realise I had started crying until I felt water droplets on my hands, and I saw my mum was crying, her cheeks red and puffy. She released my hands only to bring her own to my cheek and wipe away the moisture that began to settle there.

It was then that I let the waterworks fall and I stated crying, hiccupping and struggling to breathe. I didn't want everything to change. I didn't want to be different. I didn't want this life-long disease that would mess everything up. I didn't want any of it.

Doctor Moore had left, shutting the curtain that concealed my bed in the ER in order to give us some privacy. I cried onto my mum's shoulder, and she cried into my hair. I let out all of my emotions in those minutes, I let myself be vulnerable and weak.

When the curtain pulled back again, my twelve-year-old brother was standing there. I sobered up quickly, taking a deep breath. Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I slid over on the bed, making room next to me, and I patted the spot there- waiting for him to join me.

When he finally climbed up, he didn't say anything, he just lay his dirty blonde head of hair on my shoulder and snuggled into my side. As I began to zone in and out, I noticed my dad standing by the end of the bed with a sad smile on his face. In his arms, he held my almost four-year-old baby sister. She was asleep, it was probably around the time she usually dozes off anyway. We had been in the ER the past eight hours; it was busy in the hospital tonight it seemed.