The World is Ugly

PART 4

Gerard hadn't stopped thinking about Frank all night.

He liked him.

A fucking lot.

He knew it the minute he laughed at one of Gerard's bad jokes, and he realized it was cute. He had never felt like this about a dude. Never.

He was definitely not gay.

Except he was getting hard thinking about Frank, so he probably was.

He also thought Frank's eyes were adorable, and every time he was talking, all Gerard could think was how bad he wanted to kiss him. So yeah, he was gay.

But nobody knew it yet.

And he didn't want Frank to think he was scared, because he wasn't. At that moment, he would literally do anything Frank would ask of him. Anything.

When he dropped him off at his place last night, he didn't want to let go of him. He wanted to stay and protect him, make sure he was doing okay. Take care of him. He realized he'd been feeling like that since they met, but wasn't sure why. 'Are you sure you're okay?' he asked him one more time.

Frank nodded. 'I just need to rest.'

Gerard hugged him one last time, feeling him breathing on his neck. 'Thanks for inviting me today,' he said. 'And sorry for encouraging you to drink.'

'I only did because I was so nervous being around you, and I was afraid you'd notice I liked you.'

'But – why were you afraid?' They were still hugging while talking. It was easier for both of them to do it this way, without having to look at each other.

'Because you said you weren't gay.' Silence. 'But it wasn't your fault.'

Gerard kissed him one more time to comfort him. Or maybe just because he wanted to kiss him again. Truth was, he had never felt like that from just a kiss. 'I guess we'll see each other tomorrow,' he said after one last hug, smiling.

'We will,' Frank replied, smiling too.

****

That day at work, he couldn't focus at all, and he was sure a kid had walked out without paying, but he didn't have the energy to run after him. All he could think was Frank, sitting behind the counter of the record store, just down the street, and how much he wanted to run and kiss him. He thought about texting him, but he also wasn't sure how soon that was.

So he had to wait and finish his shift.

So as soon as it did, he almost ran outside.

But he knew he couldn't walk in there with his hands empty. He wanted to show Frankie he cared about him, and that he'd be there for him, and that he'd make sure he felt loved every minute of his life, and that he'd take care of him. He wanted to tell him he..... no, maybe it was too soon.

Instead, he walked to the flower shop across the street, and bought a dozen lavender roses. Boys deserved flowers too, he thought.

He took a deep breath before walking in the record store, nervous as hell.

The door bell announced his entrance, and he saw Frankie looking up from his chair. His puppy eyes looking at him, and he swore he looked like he was about to cry. So Gerard ran to him, and put his arms around him, and kissed him.

'I –,' Frank couldn't even form words. Tears were rolling down his face, and he couldn't believe Gerard had gotten him flowers. Nobody had ever done something like this for him. He leaned in, his forehead resting on Gee's forehead.

'I just wanted to say I'm here for you,' he said.

Frank nodded.

'Remember that time you helped me ask a girl out and told me what album to get her?'

'That was last month,' Frank told him.

'Well – I thought about giving you an album, but you know a whole lot more about music than me, so the flowers will have to do.' Frank just laughed. 'So – you want to be my boyfriend?'

Frank couldn't help crying. He had felt like shit for so long, he couldn't believe this was happening to him. Gerard had to hold him again to comfort him. 'I do,' he said, finally.

'I'm gonna help you fight the monsters, okay?' Gerard told him. 'I'm going to protect you, and love you, and take care of you so you don't feel sad anymore.'

'Thank you,' Frank replied between sobs.

'You're the best thing that's ever happened to me,' Gerard told him, and it was true.