The World is Ugly

PART 5

The door bell rang as Gerard came in the record store.

He was carrying two coffee cups, and a plastic bag. The Smiths were playing, and Frank was stacking albums in the back, singing to the songs. He was so focused, he didn't hear his boyfriend come in until he was right there next to him. 'Fuck! You scared me!' he said.

'You need to pay more attention to the door,' Gerard replied, before leaving his stuff on the floor, and sitting next to Frank and kissing him. It had been two months since they started dating, and every kiss still felt like the first. 'I came here baring gifts.'

'Shit! What time is it?' Frank looked around, a little freaked out.

'Five. Relax, you still have time.' He handed him the plastic bag. 'Here.' They started this tradition where every Friday, Gerard would get comic books and they'd sit and read them while listening to whatever album Frank chose.

They sat next to each other, holding hands, drinking coffee and reading comic books in silence. Sometimes they'd talk a little, always about what they were reading. Sometimes, Frank would rest his head on his shoulder, or they would share a kiss.

None of it felt real yet.

Neither of them could believe that from that day when Gerard came in wanting to buy an album to ask a girl out, they would find each other.

But they did.

And now they were heading out to Vinny's, hand in hand. Frank was nervous as hell, carrying his guitar case, so Gerard had to calm him down. 'It'll be alright,' he told him.

'But I haven't played in ages.' Frank had run into his high school friend Hambone just two weeks before and he invited him to play with him in his new band. It took a lot of convincing from Gerard to take the gig, but he took it. I'm here with you, Gee promised. I'll make sure you're okay. Yet he was still scared the voices in his head would tell him that he wasn't enough and that he sucked, until he gave up again. 'What if something –.'

Gerard pressed his lips against Frank's to make him shut up, and it worked. 'You practiced for two weeks straight. You're a great guitar player, and you're going to do great.'

Frank smiled at him with sad eyes. What did he do to deserve him?

'Now repeat it,' Gee insisted.

'I practiced for two weeks, I'm a great guitar player, and I'm gonna do great.' They smiled at each other, and kissed again before walking in the venue.

It was packed.

But most importantly, both of Frank's parents were there to see him. When he saw them, he ran to hug them. 'Thanks for understanding,' he told them. 'I'm sorry I didn't stick to my promise.'

'I never asked you to leave music behind, honey,' his mom told him. 'I just wanted you to get better, and let you realize on your own that this was an important part of your life.' Frank was already crying, which didn't help.

'Kid,' his dad said. 'You don't know how much it hurt to see you walk away from music. You thought that was the answer, so we let you. But you weren't yourself without the music.'

Frank wanted to tell them the reason why he started drinking and doing drugs. He knew he had to come out to them, especially with Gerard being there and all. But he needed to be onstage already, so it would have to wait.

He walked up to the corridor that led to the side of the stage, took his guitar and high fived Hambone. 'You're okay, buddy?' his friend asked.

'I'm okay, I promise.' He'd been saying that a lot lately, trying to convince everyone, but the one who needed convincing was himself. They walked to the stage and Frank started playing the riff to their opening song so perfectly it didn't sound like he had just learned it two weeks prior.

They played their setlist, mostly originals, with a couple of covers here and there, and every time Frank got nervous, he'd look at Gerard and pretend he was playing just for him. just before their last song, he took the mic from the lead singer kid. 'Sorry,' he said, his voice shaky. 'I just wanna dedicate this song to a special someone who saved my life and who convinced me to do this again.' The room was completely quiet. 'My boyfriend Gerard, who's somewhere over there.' He pointed to the table right in front of the stage. 'I love you.' He took a deep breath, and before returning the microphone he said, 'Yes, that means I'm gay as fuck. Sorry, girls.' He shrug, and started playing the intro to their last song.

After their set, his parents were waiting for him and hugged him immediately, and didn't mention anything about him being gay, just congratulated him on his first show after such a long time.

And just then, Gerard approached, with a big bouquet of lavender roses. 'Hey, rockstar!' he said with a smile.

Frank just laughed nervously and kissed his boyfriend.

'You did amazing.' He rested his forehead against Frank's.

'I wouldn't have done it without you. I wouldn't have done any of this without you.' He tried not to cry. 'You brought light to my life, Gee.' Gerard tried to say something but he put a finger to his lips to stop him. 'You have no fucking idea how bad it was before I met you. How hard I tried to be okay, and I couldn't. The world is so fucking ugly,' he said, taking Gerard's hand in his. 'But you're beautiful. And I fucking love having you in my life.' They kissed, and everyone around them cheered.