I never told you... {Morrilla} [ENGLISH]

🌈 14\ You're not alone 🌈

In her entire life, Jennifer had never been that nervous. Lana's last text was from five minutes ago, and the blonde knew very well that, when Lana Parrilla said she would do something, she would do it. She was probably on her way to join her, and Jen was internally screaming and externally shaking, only at this thought. She hadn't seen Lana for so long, and seeing her again, it provoked in her a weird feeling, that seemed like butterflies in her belly. Jen didn't really know why she felt that way, but she knew she was freaking out to see the brunette.

What would she think of her, after all this time, after all that happened ? Would she still want to be her friend ? Well, thought Jen, probably. Because otherwise she wouldn't be on her way right now.

The « Savior » had no idea how to react in presence of Lana. Emma was brave for sure, but Jennifer knew she would lose all of her courage every time she had to look at Lana in the eyes. It scared her so much, and she didn't even know why. Or maybe she did but simply didn't want to admit it.

As soon as she read that Lana was coming, the first thing Jen did was change her clothes. She put on a dress that many people would qualify as « way too hot to be worn for a friend ». But Jen didn't give a damn what people would say, she wanted to look good in front of Lana. Maybe that would help the brunette to forgive her, Jennifer told herself. Maybe Lana would see she was doing efforts to be her friend again. Even tho, Jen didn't have much hope. She knew it was pointless.

She was so busy reminding herself of all the bad things that could happen, that she freaked out when she heard the bell ring. Was Lana there already ?!

Apparently yes.

Keep calm Jen. Be kind. Be normal. It's gonna be okay. At least, she can't kill you. She's not evil.

Maybe it would be easier if she WAS, Jen thought.

She opened the door as slowly as if the sky was gonna fall on her at that moment.

For the first time in 3 years, Lana was there, in front of her. It seemed to Jennifer that she was even prettier than she used to be - and she already looked like a goddess before. Wait, what are you thinking Jen?!

Lana smiled at her. It was an unsure smile, not usual coming from Lana. Jen's heart melted in her chest. Why was Lana so sweet to her ? No idea...

- Hi, said Lana.

- Hey, answered Jennifer, with a voice full of shyness, smiling back at her.

- Happy birthday Jennifer.

It was pretty rare that Lana uses Jen's full name. But when she did, Jen really felt strange, her name in Lana's mouth felt, different. And she called her « Jennifer » twice in not even an hour.

Jen felt like she was in Heaven. An angel was standing in front of her.

- Come in, she invited her, forgetting to say « thank you »

It didn't matter to Lana whether Jen would say thank you or not. In fact, it didn't matter to Lana whether this day was Jen's birthday or not. She just wanted to see her. And that seemed to be a good reason not to give Jen any choice to refuse.

- Do you want something to drink ? Asked Jen, not knowing what to say.

- Do you have apple juice ?

- Of course, I always do, said the blonde.

- Great. Were you planning on me coming ? Because you know I love apple juice, laughed Lana, clearing the air.

Jen laughed too.

- To be honest, I'm not sure if I expected to see you ever again. Thank you, for coming today, she said.

- You thought you'd get rid of me like that?

- I... said Jen with a half smile.

- I'll never leave you forever. You are and you will always be my friend Jennifer.

Was she doing that on purpose?? Jen wondered. Saying her name again and again, like that! And she couldn't help but staring at her lips, every time Lana said something.

- That's sweet, said Jen. I'm happy that you're here.

Lana smiled at her.

- I find it really unfair that no one else wanted to come. Everyone makes mistakes, and yours wasn't THAT awful. You tried to make things better, after all.

- I did not, Jen admitted.

- What do you mean ?

- I mean I haven't tried to call anyone since the scandal. I haven't tried to talk to anyone.

- But you talked to me?

- No, YOU talked to me. I'm glad that you did, sincerely. But I did nothing myself.

- Jen...

- I always do everything wrong in my life. Can't seem to get things right. Not once.

- What are you talking about Jen ? You always do the right choice!

The blonde didn't really know what was that weird feeling growing stronger and stronger inside her. The butterflies had become a dragon, wide awake, burning everything in her.

- Was it the right choice to hide my feelings during nine years ?

- What do you mean ?

Emma, fight the dragon! She told herself. Be brave.

She's worth it.

- I fell in love with you, Lana Parrilla, the first day I saw you on set. You never loved me back. I always tried to hide what I felt, but then we became closer friends, and it was too hard. I started to hope. But you were married, I didn't have any right to hope and I knew that. I only wanted you to be happy. So I left the show. It was too hard to look at you in the eyes everyday and to pretend I was fine, when I was dying inside. But I'm not gonna say it was easier to let you go. I tried to forget you, but when you sent me that first message, a few months ago, my heart stopped. Why, why Lana, did you have to come back to me like that, when I just wanted to erase you from my mind? Why did you do that to me when you never gave a damn about me, you never loved me, so why?

- What are you talking about I never loved you ? You dummy, who did you think I was talking about when I said I never told her ?

- Of course you never lo-

Jen didn't finish her sentence, for the simple and good reason that Lana's lips were on hers.

Lana kissed her.

Jennifer closed her eyes, savoring that delightful and unexpected kiss. She felt Lana's hand running through her hair, while her other hand was in her back.

In her arms, Jen felt like home.

- I always loved you Jennifer.