The Crow With Broken Wings

Broken Wings

The following contains spoilers for the Haikyuu manga, chapter 387.

(I consider these spoilers to be mild, but be warned these are still spoilers.)

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Once again, a darkness loomed in my room. I found it difficult to breathe, like my head was constantly underwater. Just when things were starting to look up, this illness had to ruin things for me again. I couldn't believe it...

Sugawara, Kenma and the others did their best to comfort me, telling me to keep fighting, but my hope was one again fleeting. I broke down on a call to Kenma, but unlike last time, he simply stayed quiet and let me vent. I couldn't see his face, but I got the feeling from what he did say that his feelings were akin to mine.

Sugawara was sat next me as he usually was, mostly just talking about random things to try and cheer me up and keep things feeling 'normal', but my chest hurt so much that I mostly ignored his simple talk, not to mention how fatigued I felt.

There was an unexpected knock at the door. I turned my head to Sugawara and nodded, giving him permission to let the person in.

It was Kageyama.

"Oh, hey Kageyama!" Sugawara said, trying to keep a cheery tone. Kageyama looked at me with an underlying pain in his eyes, then looked away. He seemed to be bothered by my appearance somehow, almost as if he was disturbed by it. It seems Sugawara also picked up on his unease.

"Is something wrong, Kageyama?" He remained silent, still refusing to make eye contact with either of us.

"...can I speak to Hinata alone, please?" he said almost whispering. His eyes met Sugawara's, though he kept his head facing downwards. "Don't worry, I won't hurt him this time."

Sugawara looked at me with a concerned look on his face, but I figured that given Kageyama's demeanour, he was more likely to just leave the room than he was to attack me, so I nodded.

It was now just me and Kageyama in the room. He continued to stand at the end of my bed, not saying anything. I would speak up, but I didn't have the strength, plus I wanted to give Kageyama the chance to say what he wanted to say.

"Hinata, are you..." he began speaking before pausing again, almost as though he were choking on his words. He suddenly lifted his head and looked at me in the eye. He still seems somewhat uncomfortable, but he had a serious look in his eyes.

"Are you scared of death?" I stared at him with a bewildered expression. I didn't expect him to ask such a question and I wasn't exactly sure how to respond.

"I don't know," I said in a pathetically weak voice.

"I see." Kageyama once again broke his eye contact with me and looked at the floor. He then reluctantly walked over to the side of my bed and sat in the chair next to me. I tilted my head to the side to look at him. It was clear he wasn't finished with what he wanted to say, but at least having him sit next to me was easier for me than me lifting my head to look at me. Could it be that he figured that out and sat next to me to make me more comfortable?

"Uhm..." he said, then gulped. I could tell he was very uncomfortable at this point, but I wasn't sure whether to intervene or let him speak.

"My grandfather was someone very special to me," he continued, trying to push past his own discomfort. "He was the one who made me want to play volleyball as a setter. He taught me so many things about volleyball - what to do, what not to do. I admired him so much...but..."

Kageyama went quiet again. He looked very upset. Whatever he was talking about, it must be very personal for him to be acting like this. It almost looked like he might...cry?

"He passed away when I was in middle school."

The room fell silent. I wasn't exactly sure what to say. Was there anything I could say in this situation? I never expected to hear anything like this from Kageyama of all people.

"Before he died, he said to me: 'If you get really good at volleyball, I promise you somebody who's even better will come and find you.' I enjoyed volleyball so much and I wanted to play long matches with people, so I waited for a long time to find that person. Then when I entered high school..."

He paused, then looked up at me.

"I met you."

I stared at him bewildered. My eyes began to blur my vision as I started crying. Kageyama looked at me with a somewhat shocked expression.

"Does your chest hurt?" he said, slightly panicked.

"It's not that..." I began to say in a laboured voice. I wiped my tears and tried to compose myself.

"You were the first person I faced in a real match, and felt crushed when I lost. Then when I found out you'd joined Karasuno - my dream team - those feelings of disappointment came back to me. But meeting you and everyone else on the team..." I cried a little harder. "I finally got to fulfil my dream of playing in intense matches with everyone on the team facing against strong opponents."

Kageyama's eyes widened. He looked away from me, this time so that I couldn't see his face. I could hear him sniffling - perhaps he felt the same way as I did. After what happened on his old team, it only makes sense that he was happy to finally be part of such a strong team that accepted him.

We both composed ourselves, then I turned to talk to Kageyama.

"Thank you, Kageyama."

"For what?"

"You helped me finally see the view from the other side of the net. You helped me grow and to become a better volleyball player. I couldn't have asked for a better partner."

My eyes began to water again.

"Thank you for helping me fly."