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James' head, full of curls, bobbed around the Gryffindor common room as he mingled with various students, his wide smile never leaving his face. Y/n rolled her eyes in annoyance as she watched him float from a Gryffindor girl to another Ravenclaw one, the sparkle never leaving his eyes and his grin never faltering. She could see his easy charm from across the room, and it made her feel uneasy. She was tired of coming to these parties and watching the boy who, in quiet corridors and in the dead of the night told y/n that he loved her, pretending that he didn't know who she was.
The beginning of their friendship had been the result of James and Sirius' infamous mischief: an elaborate prank on the next Slytherin to walk out of the dungeons, which happened to be y/n y/l/n, a half-blooded witch who had a knack for Quidditch and baking scones. The pair had bonded over a witty debate about which Quidditch team was guaranteed to win the World Cup (a bet that y/n had lost with great disappointment) and as they discovered more and more things that they had in common, it was clear that more than a friendship was forming between the charming Gryffindor and his new Slytherin friend. Although both Sirius and Remus were great fans of y/n and the relationship she had with James, the reputation that he had around Hogwarts was the only thing that stood in their way. It was a known fact that James hated Slytherins, and did not have any friends in the house that valued the things that he did not agree with. For this reason, most of their interactions were brief, and always took place in deserted areas of the castle.
Kicking her black boots up onto the wooden coffee table in front of her, y/n threw her head back against the cherry red couch and tried to drown out the sounds of obnoxious laughter and drunken shouting. She managed to shut her eyes for all of fifteen seconds before the couch shifted at her right side as somebody sat down beside her. She didn't need to open her eyes to know exactly who it was.
"What's going on? Everything alright?" James searched her face before his gaze met her eyes. Y/n didn't miss the way his eyes quickly darted around the room to make sure that nobody was paying them particular attention. Disappointment and sadness swelled in her chest as she remembered the appearance that they always had to keep up. She was always so sure that she was used to it, but every time that James acted this way, she wasn't ready for the painful feeling in her throat and the tears that she would later shed.
She sighed deeply and moved further away from him. James' eyebrows narrowed in confusion but didn't make a move to close the gap between them.
"No one has to know about us, don't worry," Y/n spat at him in a lowered tone, staring straight ahead at the crowd gathered in front of the table filled with butterbeer and firewhiskey. She balled her left hand into a fist, reminding herself that, at this moment, she was nothing more than a casual conversation.
James sighed, either in frustration or annoyance, and y/n turned her head to glare at him. She was sick of his performances, acting like he was unbothered and didn't care about anything other than playing Quidditch and his friends. Y/n knew better than that and wished that he would let everybody else see the other side of him. The side that helped her with her Herbology homework and left cooking books on her bed.
"Do we really have to do this here, of all places? Maybe save it for later, yeah?" He shrugged his shoulders, running a hand through his hair. An expression of indifference crossed over his features.
"If it's not now then when it is, James, huh?" Y/n whispered back, keeping her voice as low as it could go, scared that her voice got any higher, it would break and reveal how she truly felt.
"Because you don't seem to be in any rush to have this conversation, and I'm starting to think that we never will," She copied his movements of running her hands through her long hair before resting them on her outstretched legs.
"Why are you only annoyed about this now? I thought we were good. Your friends won't mock you and I won't ruin my- " He tried to whisper back across the sofa before she cut him off, now whispering rapidly through gritted teeth.
"Ruin your what, James? Your reputation? Do you think I like sneaking around the castle, just to see you? When I already know that the next day you'll act like I'm too humiliating to be seen with? Is that really what you think I want? Honestly, I'm starting to think that there's no point to this anymore." Y/n swallowed back the sob that threatened to break free. She tucked her hair behind her ears and tried to focus on the shining leather of her boots, still resting on the table.
When she finally gathered enough courage to look back up at him, she found him already staring at her intensely, as if he was trying to read her thoughts. If he didn't stop soon, he was going to draw attention to himself.
James nodded his head and y/n thought that her heart was going to break. Heavy tears welled up in her eyes. He stood up from his sitting position and y/n refused to look at him walking away for the last time, focusing her attention on the stone fireplace to her left. Instead of turning in the opposite direction, as she had expected, James walked into the middle of the room and pulled himself up onto the centre table that was currently being used for a game of butterbeer-pong.
He coughed loudly. Once, and then twice, ensuring that he had everybody's attention. Suddenly, all of y/n's attention was on him and what he was about to say.
"Uhh, hey everybody, I'm James. You all probably already know......me" He trailed off quietly as he noticed the sarcastic shake of y/n's head at his arrogant confidence. He continued his speech nevertheless.
"I just wanted to make a small announcement, if you don't mind. She's probably gonna hate me even more after this, but I wanted to let everybody know what I am absolutely and totally in love with y/n y/l/n, and am definitely not ashamed of everybody knowing about it. Ok, that's all, thank you for your time," The room stared at him in shock before the clapping started, courtesy of Sirius Black.
James didn't manage to hear any of it. He was too busy returning the wide, bright smile that was now plastered across y/n's face.
