Accidentally on Purpose

Bonus Chapter #1

His eyes blinked open in a slow motion, but they didn't have to readjust to the light that hard since it was already dark around him. Something pounded on his head, but years of sneaking behind his parents' back to get wasted had earned him a little control of his state of drunken consciousness.

Yes, his head hurt like hell. Yes, he could vomit all over his lap any second now. But was he aware of his surroundings? Hell, yes. He was aware of how cold the air was because the heater in the car wasn't turned on. He was aware of the song on the radio, sounding so distant since the volume was turned all the way down. He was aware of the road ahead staring back at him, and so he closed his eyes.

He gotta hand it to his man Xavier for throwing the best party of the year. Sure, he almost had a girl vomit all over him and a guy nearly pulled him into the freezing backyard pool, and maybe the DJ was too drunk to play a decent song to dance to with a random girl he could sneakily feel up, but he'd had a shitty day so this party was still the highlight of his week.

Thinking of his shitty day was making the monsters inside his brain pound even harder, so he tried to stop.

He sat up straight, thankful that he wasn't nauseous enough to actually throw up, and he rested his head with a little sigh. Another thing that he was thankful of was the way his little sister was driving smoothly, so—

"Shit, Hannah." He groaned, taking back the compliment he was just about to blurt out when the car jolted violently. His stomach began to churn and he felt like the world was spinning.

"I told you I can't drive," she replied. "I told you."

He opened his eyes again and blinked several times until his vision got clearer, and what he saw was the distressed and exhausted face of his sister behind the wheels. "You're doing great."

"I'm not." She gulped, and it was then that he noticed that her hands were slightly shaking. She was panicking. She started to mumble to herself, "I should've woken her up—I can't do this, I'm—"

"You're hurting my head."

"Shut up!" she snapped, and he was stunned.

And then he was angry. "Stop yelling at me, I told you my head is—"

"Then you should've known better not to get drunk," she threw, her eyes focused on the road in front of her. Her hands were still shaking. "Why do you keep doing this? Why can't you be responsible for a second? Why am I even here oh my god oh my god." She wasn't even talking to him but she wouldn't stop, she kept going and going and going and his head was going to explode.

"So why did you come anyway?"

"You forced me to."

"I didn't."

"Your drunken ass did." Her voice lost its fierceness, now small and scared and he wanted to hug her and tell her that he wasn't mad, but something in the back of his mind kept telling him that he should be mad, mad mad mad at everything that was going on in his life, mad mad mad because he couldn't even call her his sister without lying to himself.

If only she knew, if only she knew, would she even be here driving his drunken ass home? "You could've just gone back to sleep."

"And leave you alone doing god knows what in that stupid party? I wouldn't even be able to go back to sleep. I was too worried." Her eyes never left the road for one second, even when she was talking to him. "God, Tony, why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Can you stop talking?" He wanted her to stop talking. He wanted her to stop pointing out his stupidity—it wasn't like he wasn't aware of it. He didn't need a lecture from her—his ears had bled enough listening to his mom yap on and on about this and that and he was just so sick of the world that he wanted to get away.