Neverland - Completed

Chapter 20

•Peter•

Shouldn't I be feeling something? I'm scared because I'm feeling nothing. I thought my heart would be aching, that my lungs would be screaming. Numbness however, it was all I felt. Where were my tears? I would've expected them to be here by now. I was missing the heat. The chills. The overwhelming pain that would take years to get through. It was nowhere to be found.

I think the problem was I didn't learn from my past mistakes. I should've known since the moment I started falling that eventually I'd hit ground.

I threw a rock into the water and watched it sink to the bottom. That rock. Why did I feel like that rock? Stone cold. Being dragged to the depths.

It'd been hours since I'd left them in there. I knew the Lost Boys would be confused when they returned from there hunt. Why wasn't Simon back yet? Where did he go? Where was Rose? Why did she not come back with you? Their voices echoed in my head, haunting me. What had I done? Why did I keep screwing up?

Eventually I had to leave the boys, let them forget their confusion with hours upon hours of no rules. Let them run wild for awhile, it usually worked.

I only wished I could do the same. But no, I'd been standing at the edge of the water for what felt like days, glaring at the waterfall. Fearing what lay behind it. Fearing what I would do when I saw.

It took all my courage to jump back into that frigid water. It stung my skin like acid when I dived, reminding me of the forbidden kiss only hours ago. Why had I done that? It only made the ache worse. Aching, yes, I was starting to feel something now. A deep and burning ache.

You've convinced yourself that all of this is necessary, this hate. That it's the only way to live. It's the only way to stand above those who hurt you. It's consumed your heart and your mind. You let that darkness in. Let that power run through your veins.

But my dear Peter, you can't lie to me. Don't tell me you don't enjoy the fear in their eyes- in my eyes. Don't tell me you don't crave the screams you rip from their lips. You welcome it. Don't tell me it doesn't feel so unbelievably right.

Because in the end, when you sit atop that throne of bones, you are a liar if you claim that all of this is necessary. It's what you've wanted all along.

Now I know you're angry, but anger doesn't solve anything. Anger is not an excuse for cruelty. Neither is fear. Take me home, take us all home and I promise you will feel relief. For your anger does nothing but destroy.

I am not your enemy. You've become the monster to your own story. Don't do something you'll regret.

Her last words still haunted me. Regret was something unfamiliar to me until that day, until I learned that some pain could not be undone.

I gasped for air at the surface, the weight of her memory heavy on my chest. I hadn't thought of Wendy like this, not since Rose. However in the end, they've both betrayed me.

I swam beneath the waterfall and climbed up from the pool within the cave. That's when I saw them, on the floor, across the cavern. Micheals head was on her lap, hear hand combing lightly through his bloodied hair. How had I not realized they were plotting against me all along?

I admit, I loved the pain etched into Micheals face and the sorrow pulling at Rose's. She looked up with those eyes that made my knees weak. I almost stumbled as I stalked towards them. I watched as she set her jaw, the determination setting in. But what could she do while chained to the wall?

So many things.

No, I wouldn't let her break me down further. I feel easily into a wicked grin, releasing Tink from the glass case attached to my hip. I'd put her in there to get her through the waterfall. Tink was the only one I could trust to be here with me, she'd hated Rose from first glance. In reality, Tink had been the only one to prove herself to me. The only one I could really trust.

She circled around Rose's head, taunting her. Rose barely gave her a glance, her eyes locked with mine. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, what she was feeling. A tear fell down her cheek and it took all my strength not to bend down and wipe it away.

"You never should've let me go." I kneeled down so that we were faced to face, "not for him."

"Grow up Peter." She scoffed, turning her nose up at me. Her words were like a slap to the face, she should've known they'd feed the fire. Maybe that was what she wanted.

"I've said it once, and I'll say it again, no one grows old in Neverland." I gripped her chin tightly, feeling Micheal shift on her lap, obviously uncomfortable with my closeness to her.

"But aren't adventures supposed to have an end?" More tears streamed down, making little streams to my fingers. She wasn't sobbing this time, not like when I'd first showed her Micheal chained to the wall. These were angry tears, frustrated tears. She felt helpless.

"There's always someone left to carry on the next story." I took a step back, wondering how many stories had viewed me as the villain. How many tragedies I'd caused. They didn't understand, it had to be done. I was trying to save them.

"Go away, Peter Pan." Micheal finally spoke, it was obviously a struggle for him."

"Don't you dare speak to me." I couldn't even look at him. My Lost Boy, my brother. I'd only tried to help him, and he ran off to join the pirates. The rest of the betrayers.

"No. My knees are bruised from kneeling to you for so long. I'm done, I'm free." His breath was shallow, eyes drooping, "If you keep this up, soon you will have nobody."

"The Lost Boys wouldn't betray me, not like you have." I chuckled, they'd almost completely forgotten about Micheal by now.

"They are not your brothers, they are not your friends, they are not even your loyal followers, they're just too scared of being your enemy." Micheal was angry. I found it amusing when someone so weak was angry. They were so helpless to stand up to what made them angry, their words so unthreatening.

"At least they still remember my name." I rolled my eyes as Tink giggled on my shoulder.

"Aren't you scared Peter?" Rose chimed in again, before Micheal could say anything else, "of everything you're going to loose? Of everything have lost? It's never going to get better if you keep acting like this."

"Do you know why I'm never scared Rose? Do you really want to know? I'm never scared because even in the heat of battle, in the depths of the darkest forest, I know that my cold soul is the most terrifying thing around." I stood up, ready to leave. I didn't want to play this back and forth game anymore. I placed Tink back in the jar and turned back towards the waterfall.

"I'll see you again." Rose spoke up before I could dive into the water.

"I doubt that." I glanced over my shoulder to look at her, my laugh echoing down the cave.

"Underestimate me. That'll be fun." Was the last thing I heard her snap before I jumped. I swam as fast as I could, not sure if the sudden chills where from the water or her words. I had underestimated her before, I wouldn't be doing it again.

Once on solid ground I released Tink again and sunk to my knees. Why did I feel so tired all of the sudden?

"What was that?" I murmured, trying to focus on Tinks ringing in my ear. "Yes, I know I can't just leave them down there for someone to find. I just- I can't kill her yet."

That word- kill- it wasn't the word I wanted to use. But there wasn't word for what I had to do. Free them? No, not exactly. End them? That was worse. Why was this so difficult for them to understand?

"I know, I know." I got to my feet, "I'm going to round up the boys now. It'll be difficult for them to forget both Rose and Simon right after Micheal. It'll take time, we must get started."

I headed towards the Hanging tree, walking instead of flying this time. I was in no rush to erase every evidence of Rose's existence.