To Find You Once Again

Chapter Twelve

Nang mga sumunod na araw ay mas lalong inabala ni Nikki ang sarili sa trabaho. Sunod-sunod ang assignments na kinuha niya. Ata dahil malapit nang matapos ang taon, nagkasunod-sunod ang mga finale ng iba't-ibang shows. Sunod-sunod din ang mga articles na kailangan niyang isulat sa iba't-ibang magazines. They were already approaching mid-December and in a few months' time, matatapos na ang shooting ng pelikula. After that, Matt and Lex were set to go back to the States.

Kung dati ay inisip niyang layuan si Matt, mas lalo na siyang desididong iwasan ito ngayon. She loved him. Loved him so much that she was afraid she would betray a friend without feeling guilty. Ang tanging dahilan lang kung bakit napapagana pa niya ang mga rason niya ay ang kaalamang iniiwasan din siya ni Matt.

Hindi iilang beses na niyaya siya ni Erica na sumama sa mga dinner dates nito. Pero tuwina ay tumatanggi siya. Gan'on din si Matt na kung dati ay mapilit siyang isama, kung tingnan siya ngayon ay parang napakalaki ng kasalanan niya dito. Kahit na nasasaktan siya sa kalamigan ng trato nito sa kanya ay tiniis niya. It was the right thing to do. Bagay na matagal na niya dapat ginawa.

Isang hapon nang umuwi si Nikki at dumiretso sa parking lot ay nakita niya si Lex na naghihintay at nakasandal sa kotse niya. Kampanteng-kampante itong nakatayo habang pinagtitinginan ng mga taong napapadaan. Kahit na nga ba sanay na ang mga itong makakita ng artista, iba pa rin talaga ang dating ni Lex. Nikki rolled her eyes. If they only knew how conniving Lex was.

Tumuwid ito ng tayo pagkakita sa kanya. Nikki pointedly ignored him. Dire-diretsong binuksan ang pinto ng sasakyan. Natatawang pinigilan siya nito.

"Won't you say 'hello' to me?" Lex asked in a teasing tone.

"Hello," she murmured without looking at him.

"Ouch. That's so cold Nikki." Dramatikong hinawakan ni Lex ang dibdib. Nang mapansin siguro siya na hindi tumitinag ay may iwinagayway ito sa mukha niya. It was an invitation.

"Another invitation, Mr. Francisco?" she asked sarcastically. "I'm not interested."

"Uh-uh. Hindi pwedeng tumanggi. Official launching 'yan ng teaser for the movie. It'll be on the night after tomorrow."

"Why me?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I like you, Nikki."

Nikki sighed. She heard those straightforward statement before.

"Alam mo, someone told me that before. I ended up hurting him."

"Si Matt 'yan ano?" Lex teased.

Nikki gasped and looked at him. "How did you—Oh no, never mind." Siguro ay sinabi ni Matt dito iyon.

"Admit it. You love Matt, right?"

She sighed and looked at him with weary eyes. Hindi talaga siya titigilan nito. Pero ano ba kasi ang mapapala nito kung malalaman nito ang damdamin niya?

"Yes. I love him. So, can you just leave now and mind your own business?" pagkatapos ay pumasok na siya sa loob ng kotse.

Dumukwang si Lex sa nakabukas na windshield. "Then why don't you tell him?"

"Kung pwede ba, eh, 'di matagal ko na sanang ginawa. But he's happy now." He already has Erica. Masaya na, 'di ba?

"You can fight, Nikki. Pwede mo naman siyang bawiin. He was once yours anyway."

"I wouldn't do that to a friend. And he was never mine. At wala naman patutunguhan ito'ng usapan nating ito kaya tigilan na natin."

"Alam mo ba that Matt attended highschool only because of you?" Lex said after a moment.

Marahas siyang napalingon dito. "What do you mean?"

"The doctors advised him na magpahinga na lang nung 4th year siya because he has a weak heart. But he insisted on coming to school. He told our Dad he wanted to be with you a little more bago siya umalis ng bansa. He loved you, Nikki."

Hindi niya alam ang sasabihin doon. Matt loved her. Kung totoo man ito o hindi, napanatag siya ng kaisipang iyon.

"But that was in the past now Lex," malungkot niyang sinabi.

She could swear there was tenderness in Lex's eyes as he looked at her.

"I was only waiting for you to admit that you love him. Now that I know, I promise we will weave magic for you, Nikki. You'll be happy soon."

Nikki didn't know why those words comforted her.

****

Wala halos tao sa office kinabukasan nang pumasok si Nikki. Everyone was probably busy para sa launching party na gaganapin kinabukasan. Tinapos niya na lang ang mga trabahong naiwan niya nang nagdaang araw.

When Nikki arrived home, she found a package waiting for her atop her bed. Binuksan niya iyon. It revealed a tea-length chiffon dress in green. Itinaas niya ito at nasisiyahang pinagmasdan ang damit. Isa lang ang alam niyang may susi ng bahay niya.

Maya-maya pa ay nag-ring ang cellphone niya. It was Erica.

"Have you seen it Nikki?" Erica asked excitedly. "Pretty little thing, huh?"

"It's so beautiful Erica!" she agreed. "May bayad ba ito?"

She heard Erica sniffed on the other line. "I want you to be happy, Nikki. Always. You deserve that much."

Nangilid ang mga luha ni Nikki sa sinabi nito. How can she betray someone like her? She'd rather sacrifice her love for Matt kaysa saktan si Erica. She would never hurt a friend again.

"I want you to be happy too," she said, her voice quivered a little.

Tumawa ito sa kabilang linya. "Ok, tama na. Madrama na tayo masyado. I'll see you tomorrow night, ok?"

Natawa rin siya habang pinapahid ang mga luha. "Yep. I'll see you."

Tiningnan ni Nikki ang disc player na nakapatong sa side table niya. Her first and last gift from Matt. Pagkatapos ay kinuha niya ang telepono and dialled a number. After a few rings, may sumagot sa kabilang linya. Nagulat pa si Nikki. Nasanay siya sa answering machine lang.

"Hello."

"Hello, Mom," gumaralgal ang boses ni Nikki pagkarinig sa boses ng mommy niya.

"What's wrong, sweetie? Are you crying?"

"I miss you, Mom. Come home soon. I feel so alone."

"I miss you too, sweetie. Uuwi na rin si mommy," her mother said gently.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, honey. Stay strong a little longer."

She nodded kahit hindi iyon nakikita nito. She's tired of pretending to be strong. Ngayong wala na si Matt at Erica, sino pang tatakbuhan niya?