It was enough to make the little baby hairs on the back of my neck stand, but No this was different this was more. more then I could explain.
"Speak little girl, or ill make you" he growled the thin thread of comprehension he had left was now split...
C H A P T E R T W E L V E│ F A L S E C O N F I D E N C E
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Mature content
March 28 2020
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E M O T I O N S. The very thing that makes us human. there's this extent of happiness, pride, excitement, and possibly relief. Every emotion considered good. But what would you be if you didn't feel hurt, or pain, or despair? You can't have the good without the bad. There is no light without darkness. The trick is to balance them, so the bad doesn't seem so terrible, and you can truly appreciate the good that is offered.
But once the bad starts to outweigh the good, the balance that kept me happy seems to diminish leaving a boatload of emotions that I don't know how to control. On one end I have emotional relief, to know that Ambrosius has some kind of attachment towards me he wouldn't have claimed me if there was nothing there.
But, on the opposite side of the spectrum, all I can think is he purposefully made me think he cared for me so I would stay in this manic lope whole with him, and once I was stuck I'd be some kind of toy he could just play with when he wanted. The idea didn't sound bad, actually, it was quite tempting. But the more time I spent on his land and the more I learned from Claire the way of the Lycanthropy people, I can't resist but want to step up to the plate and at least pretend to be a real Mate for Ambrosius and possibly the Luna of his pack.
But this cluster of ridiculous emotions, are blinding me with so many possibilities. I mean regardless of the anger I felt last night all I can feel now is anxiousness.
after yesterday's outburst, claire calmed me down and actually informed me more about all the mythical aspects that came with the claim. In fact, if I would have been informed two nights prior to my initiation ball this would have been my life I'd possibly be kissing the feet of Selene for giving me stability, and one person to care for and love.
Somehow in the midst of all of this, my mindset has taken a sharp left turn in the direction I dont want it to go in. Its obvious resentment still lingers from the lack of Ambrosius in possibly only a week and a half of being here, but as of now as I stare at claire drape her coat over her shoulders preparing to go see him all I can think about is if I look good, would he like to kiss me, or possibly fixing the situation at hand.
I would be lying to myself if I didn't want to initially barge in and rip his head off, but I want to affirm to him that I am willing to be at his hands and possibly his feet.
With that motivation tickling the back of my neck I waited patiently I hadn't slept all night thinking about what I could possibly tell Ambrosius, I didn't want to come off soft and scared but I didn't want to enter his office with hostility and shouting profanities. it would only go downhill from there.
another problem i have to solve is how to make him see me more than just a child. it's obvious that is something scratching at the back of his head. If not he wouldn't make it his adamant duty to remind me I'm a brat.
