Out of love for me| liskook

no.5

Here I am, on our shared bed, quietly bawling my eyes out.

It's been days since my discovery of your infidelity.

I should have confronted you the minute you woke up. Should've made you beg for me, for my love. Should've slapped you as much as I wanted to and left you like the badass I am. But... I'm not a badass. At least, not anymore. I have you to blame for that, actually. You softened me up with your love.

Saying the phrase "your love" sounds so obscure.

Can I even use the word love to define your feelings for me? To define what this relationship was based on?

These past few days I've been questioning myself about a lot of things. About why I'm still here, with you. About why I stayed for so long.

Why.

It's a phrase I've been constantly using for a while now. Because what else could I ask but, why?

I have so many questions, but few answers.

I think I want to leave. No. I want to leave. I will leave.

I don't know where this sudden conviction came from. Maybe the fact that I've realized that I let myself lose, well, myself. Or the fact that I lost my voice. The losing myself and my voice part isn't entirely on you though, I just can't keep blaming everything on you. After all, I had a choice. I had a say in the choices I made. My mistakes are my own and I, like the big girl I am, will own up to them.

At this point, I stopped crying now. I guess my sudden conviction made me realize that I should man up and actually start to right my wrongs.

You know, I don't know why you did what you did. I don't think I want to know, but I know that if I want some closure one day, I'm gonna have to. I know, how cowardly of me. I'm not usually like this, after all. But it seems that I've been a coward about a lot of things lately.

I believe the first thing I should do is confront you about your mistake.

Can I really call it a mistake?

You know what, know that I think about it...

Did you make the mistake of cheating,

Or did I make the mistake of staying?

--------

I know this is really short, and I really haven't updated in a while, but thank you so much to those who still support this book!

What do you guys think about their relationship? Is Lisa making the right choice?

Why do you guys think Jungkook cheated? (There is a reason, but that doesn't mean what he did was right nor justifiable)

Your guys' comments make my day! Thank you again for reading 🥰🥺