The Notes

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Taehyung pulled him aside a couple days later

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Taehyung pulled him aside a couple days later. They always talked in the middle of the night in Taehyung's room, so nobody could hear.

"I talked to Jimin," he said in a low voice. "I don't know exactly if he's happy about it or not, but he did agree that something needs to be done."

Jungkook nodded. Good.

"Also."

Taehyung held out the note. Jungkook gulped.

"I never asked how you got this," Jungkook asked.

"The police gave it to me."

"Really?"

Taehyung nodded. Jungkook didn't know whether to trust the look in his eyes or not. Instead, he sighed and took the note from him.

The spiky handwriting made his eyes water. The words made his heart hurt. He wondered what Jin had thought when he had read it. Then he had to stop thinking because he started spiralling into a mess of guilt and regret.

He went back to his room. Taehyung trailed behind him like a lost puppy.

Jungkook had kept a couple notes in Dang Seung's handwriting. They were mostly comments about his dancing, usually detailing ways how he could improve. Dang Seung genuinely was a good dancer. He did have some good points.

He took out some of the papers. Jungkook compared it with the note that had been found with Jin. They didn't match at all. The letters were looped very differently. Unless Dang Seung had purposely been trying to trip them - Jungkook doubted that he would be that careful - it wasn't his handwriting.

He set the papers down, sighing in frustration.

"They don't match," he said.

"They don't?"

Taehyung grabbed it and turned it over in his hands. Within a while, he had a frustrated look on his face too.

"There goes our one lead," Taehyung said. He sank down on Jungkook's bed. He looked as glum as Jungkook felt. "What are we supposed to do anyway? If the police couldn't do it, how are we supposed to...?"

Irritation flashed through Jungkook's mind. This was the only thing that he could think of to do to provide him any closure. He knew that it was stupid. He knew that there was a high chance that nothing would work. But to hear the one person he trusted with this information expressing doubt made him go ballistic.

"Then don't be a part of this, then," he hissed. "Go away and shut yourself in your room then. At least I'm trying to do something productive, unlike all of you."

Taehyung shook his head. He buried his face into his hands. For a long time, Jungkook stood quietly, wallowing in his own guilt.

"Saying these kinds of things won't help and you know it," Taehyung said after a while. His voice was soft.

Jungkook sighed. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"None of us have a handle on our emotions."

"We need help."

"All of us do. I agree," Taehyung said.

"Will we ever go back to what we were?"

"What were we?"

Jungkook shrugged. "Happy."

"Were we though?"

"I thought we were," Jungkook murmured. "I thought we all were."

"Jungkook, if hyung was happy, why did we go down so quickly?"

The question made Jungkook think. Taehyung was right. If Jin had truly been happy, he would've been able to bounce back from all the hurtful things that had happened to him. Instead, those things had poked at an already existing insecurity and made it too big for him to handle.

"You're right," he said. "You're absolutely right."

Taehyung was looking at him now. His eyes were filled with tears. Jungkook pretended not to see them.

"Do you still want to do this?" Jungkook asked.

"This? Find out how or what exactly happened?"

"Yeah."

Taehyung sighed but nodded slowly. "I feel like it would provide some closure for me."

"Same here."

"Is that why you're doing it?"

"Yeah."

Taehyung huddled closer to Jungkook then, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Jungkook nestled into the embrace. He tried to recall what Jin's arms had felt like, but he couldn't remember. Those little details had faded away. They had become part of the dream that had been Jin's entire life. If Jungkook didn't cling onto it, it could all fly away and break.

"We're all we have now," Taehyung said. "If this is what gives us peace of mind, then so be it."

"I'm sorry for getting mad."

"It's okay."

Taehyung's voice was barely above a whisper. Jungkook closed his eyes, feeling the tears snake down his face. All of Jin's words used to end in a whisper.

With every tear, he felt his resolve grow. He was going to figure something out.

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773 words

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