Guard my Heart (gay) ✔️

1. Tarek.

N/A. This story is set about a year before Marwon's first meeting with Tyler. (The Sheikh's Rebel.)

Slowly sipping his non-alcoholic cocktail, Tarek Al-Din looked around the crowded club. "Vague the Chaleur" paid tribute to his name. He got pretty hot at seeing all the seductive bodies that shamelessly rubbed passed each other. An enviable sigh escaped past his full lips.
It was so rare that he was able to escape the strict and controlled environment of his family and he enjoyed it to the fullest. This was his last night in Paris. Tomorrow his grandfather had another morning meeting with Sheikh Jabaar and then they left for Dubai, home.

"Tarek? Tarek?" he heard laughing beside him.
Jumanah bowed mysteriously towards him. "Are you enjoying the view?"
Tarek blushed as she followed his gaze to the scantily clad male dancers on a raised platform. Their beautifully sculpted bodies moved in perfect synchronization with the music and each other. Even for the most innocent bystander, it was clear that if these two men were not already lovers, they would certainly be in the morning.

"Why don't you pick someone to spend the night with, habibi?" 
She leaned lovingly against him.
"Tomorrow we will return to the strict rules and laws of the family and you lock this part of yourself away. Everyone has a right to love."
Tarek pressed a kiss on her shiny black hair.
"Thank you, dear niece. You're probably right, but I'm just too old-fashioned."

Inwardly sighing he let his gaze wander around the club.
"These people enjoy a freedom that I will never experience. Even without bars, I feel trapped."
Jumanah shook her head with a sad smile.
"Love is not something you get thrown into your lap, Tarek. If even the slightest bit comes your way, you have to grab it and not let go!"
He laughed mockingly at the sight of her fanatically clenched fists.
"Since when did you become an expert in love, niece of mine? As far as I'm aware, you're as inexperienced as I am."

First careful to see if anyone was listening in on their conversation and then a little more daring she slapped him on the arm. "Of both of us, you're the one who can easiest change that, Tarek," she called out almost accusatory.
"Sorry," he lied with his hands raised, "but I don't see myself going home with a strange man."
That had been different in the past, but an unexpected meeting changed everything. Now there was only one man who took a prominent place in his fantasies.

Suddenly he heard a patronizing sigh. Apparently, his swooning facial expression had betrayed him.
"No, not again! How come in a club full of hot and very willing men you dream about that annoying instructor? He's as straight as they come, and you know it!" she exclaimed almost despondently.
Tarek sighed.
"I know, but it doesn't matter anyway," he shook. "There is simply no way to be myself when I'm home. Gay is not okay, and it never will be. So let me dream, Jumanah. Because dreaming is all I have."

Nathan Caulfield was everything he was looking for in a man. From their first acquaintance he was completely captivated by the gruff instructor and his nocturnal escapades with strange men had stopped abruptly. Many members of his extended family who took the mandatory self-defence course for personal safety dropped out because of the American's no nonsense treatment.

Tarek found his approach refreshing and enjoyed the one-on-one contact with the tall and muscular man. It was more than the blonde hair with light copper glow and the intense blue eyes that enchanted him. There was something he couldn't put his finger on. An invisible sense of belonging. In a world where he was always and forever surrounded by family, the presence of this bond was something that intrigued him so much that he lasted longer with Nathan than anyone else.

As personal assistant to the head of the family, it was considered necessary for Tarek to train longer and more intensely with Nathan than any other member of the family. For once in his life, he was grateful with his position.
Not that he was dissatisfied with his position, or his work, but it literally placed him within reach of the most influential man in his life. His grandfather.

Marwon Al-Din ruled with an iron hand. The conflict within the Al-Din family had hardened him and over the years only made him more determined to win the battle. You saw the same fire in the generations that followed him. Tarek knew his heart would break if he let his grandfather down. Only he also knew that he would never be a fire-eater like his uncles and cousins or in the case of Jawdat, an ice-cold bastard!

So he did what he always did. Be good! No messing around with hot and willing men when they were abroad. No more sneaky splurges when they were at home, because he really wasn't the only one struggling with this subject. There were a couple in the extended family that he was sure were gay, the other way around they knew about him.
Despite the sometimes grim climate between the families, this was a secret that transcended everything else. It brought a fraternization that allowed them to find a lover if desired.

Jumanah nudged him and brought him out of his musings.
"Come on, it's time to go."
Tarek despondently let himself slip off the bar stool.
"I'm genuinely surprised by your reluctance," she remarked in the taxi back to the hotel. "Since you're not willing to have a one night stand, I'd thought sharing a suite with the subject of your affection would be a guaranteed wet dream."

Tarek struggled to hold back a bitter laugh.
During their travels, it was customary for the PA and the Head of Security to share a suite together. The very first time this happened, he couldn't sleep from excitement. The illusion of a possible clandestine romance was destroyed by the first whor...(cough cough) woman who warmed his bed during their travels. It had developed into a fixed pattern and he knew with certainty that there was currently a woman in the arms of his crush. Moaning and begging, because apparently Nathan was an excellent lover. 

A well-known pain swept through his body. Not for the first time, he wished for the capacity to drink alcohol. Actually, he didn't even care as long as it made him forget how much it hurt. How much he longed for something and someone he could never have. All he was looking for was a moment of oblivion in which he could make peace with his miserable fate.

Lonely and forever alone.