i'm not the prettiest flower but i'll do

i killed my demons and i can only hope yours died with mine

mood: stand by you- rachel platten

Friday, November 2nd 7:07 am

When Harry left Louis' place the night before there was a heavy weight in his chest and he had a difficult time falling asleep. A good part of that weight had to do with Emily's funeral being the next day the rest was his whole feelings about Louis that couldn't be dealt with at the time. He was totally up for being there for Louis for moral support, but he couldn't help but feel like he wouldn't belong. The place would be filled with family and friends and then there would be him— a complete stranger. No one but Louis and his parents knew who he was and being in a place of grieving strangers was slightly discomforting. But he was willing to stick it out in order to be by Louis' side, especially through a difficult time. He'd do anything for that boy's happiness.

He sat on one of the chairs outside of Louis' home, waiting for him to come out. It was taking Louis a bit longer to head out than usual but it was totally understandable, so Harry patiently watched people and cars pass by until Louis finally came out of his house. He usually felt joy and happiness when he saw Louis but he didn't feel that at all. Louis looked extremely tired. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. There were dark circles underneath them and a frown etched on his lips.

"Hi bub," Harry spoke softly with furrowed brows and a matching frown. The moment he stood up he was tackled in a hug and soon enough his shirt was wetting from tears. "Oh, Lou." He held the small boy back, resting his cheek on top of Louis' head after placing a soft kiss to his hair. "My precious Lou."

"She's gone Harry," Louis sobbed into the fabric of Harry's shirt. "She's actually gone."

"Hey. Hey. Look at me." Harry cupped both Louis' cheeks to connect gazes. "She'll always live on in your heart. Don't cry kitten." He wiped his tears away with his thumb only for Louis to shove his face back into Harry's chest and cry more.

"It's not enough."

"I know, but it's going to have to be." There was so much more Harry wanted to do to cheer Louis up but a lot of those things he couldn't. For example, he couldn't shower Louis in comforting kisses because that'd for sure make things worse and he couldn't take Louis to his room and cuddle him all day because, again, that wasn't a thing friends did. To see the person he liked being absolutely crushed and not being able to use physical touch to help comfort them was hard when words just weren't enough. He's already tried to comfort Louis on this topic so what more could he say? Repeating the same things over and over got tiring to hear and say.

"I want to be with her."

"No, no, no. No. You want her to be with you."

Louis shook his head and looked up at Harry with a look he'd never seen before in him or anyone for that matter. It was the look of absolute defeat. "I want to be with her."

"Hey, no. Don't say that." Harry sat down on the armrest of the chair to get closer to eye level with Louis, pulling him in between his legs and pressing their foreheads together. "Please don't."

"Let's just go to school." Louis stepped away to start walking but Harry grabbed his hands and pulled him back in.

"I don't think you should go to school. You're not right and you shouldn't have to put your mind through that today. Stay home, please?"

"I've already missed some days, I can't. Plus staying home alone will just leave me with my mind and school is a distraction."

"Let me stay with you. We could hangout and have fun to distract you from your sadness." Harry stood and pulled Louis towards his front door. "C'mon."