Roofers.

43. Jealousy.

Ronan POV.

Her fingers were children. Losing themselves in the soft tufts of my hair like mischievous no-good trouble makers seeking entertainment. I sighed as if I would never have to wake up from this. In my mind at least, this could only be a dream.

I lay my head on her lap, nestled against her soft thighs and warm skin, my eyes barely opening as I relaxed beneath her delicate touch. Cool air blasts into the room, the windows are drawn open and so are the doors of her balcony. The curtains dance around, full of aimless energy as they billow into the empty spaces. And when the breeze gets cold, it gives me reason to snuggle closer to her. To feel as her skin ignites, as if only to cater to me. From up here, we could see the distant memory of the Valley's bright neons, and what felt like a billion cars driving in the overcrowded streets now looked like lines and lines of fireflies.

The tall buildings of Middleton almost felt like pillars meant to protect places like this. I wondered what we needed protecting from, regardless of where you lived, the people were all the same. The Acres Aristocrats, she'd called them. Mommy always complained how they were just as conceited and self-absorbed as the people down there.  She said each district just had different ways of showing it. Up here it was based on what you had and down there it was based on what you could do; who exactly knew your name; the people you associated with.

The darkness from outside carried wisps of warm, spring air into the room. The breeze mingled with my skin. And an intrusive thought found itself colonising my mind. The new boy and his annoying fondness he seemed to have for Scar. I'd admit he was cute; he was small and soft-looking and he had these stupid big eyes that practically screamed "save me" with every glance he made at her. He was the epitome of what a male submissive is thought to be. The kind of submissive I wanted to be someday. He was everything Scar wanted. Someone who would let her take care of him with no hesitation. Someone who would let her protect him. Someone she could feel more dominant with, especially considering his height. Someone who would let her show him off; who wasn't afraid to be seen — unlike me. I was the complete polar opposite of that.

I knew that if she wanted to, she could easily get rid of me. She could replace me with a better, easier submissive who wouldn't give her the stress of hiding. Before, she didn't have a choice but now — now she had options. I felt my body tense up at the idea. What would happen when she realised that? I hated that I couldn't give her what she wanted. I was tall where he was short. I was big where he was small. I was scared of rejection where he didn't give two fucks about what people thought of him. Where would that leave me when she figured out that he was better? What would I do then?

I got up from my position in her lap. Mommy still sat comfortably amongst her pillows, looking gorgeous as ever as a smile spread itself across her face — oblivious to my inner conflict as her fingers typed at her phone. I wanted her attention. Now.

"Mommy?" I asked her.

"Yeah, bunny?" She asked me, her eyes still glued to her screen. A light bit of laughter flying from her lips as she continued.

"Who are you chatting to?" I was curious to see who was making her smile like that. I wanted to be the reason she was that happy.

"Oh, it's just Luka." She replied slowly, her attention elsewhere. "He's hilarious, honestly."

"Luka?" I asked her.

"He's that new submissive boy, everyone seems to be raving about," She explains. My heart stills. My chest constricts. So that's his name. Jealousy pumps into my fingertips. Tears fill my eyes, and I swear I feel a headache beginning to plague me.