Part 1

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A/N: Hey y'all! I wanted to write a story about Kylo that catered more to more personal situations and interests. I'm hoping there will be readers out there who will identify themselves with this book as well. As a reminder this is an x reader story so the female character will not be named at any point. Feel free to leave any feedback, I would appreciate it immensely. THANK YOU!!!
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It had been a while since you had set foot in the class, which added to the stress of coming face to face with your professor. Normally, his tall frame and dark gaze was enough to make you stumble over your words, but you knew he would be disappointed in you, and somehow that was far worse than anything else.
  Then again, maybe he wouldn't be. He had no reason to pay any personal attention to you. He had hundreds of other students to attend to. One single student missing class for a week would surely escape him.  You secretly wished it wouldn't.  You thought about how he leaned back during his lectures, his arms supporting his body on the desk behind him. His hands always looked so strong, even while holding a pen gently between his fingers. It was stupid to have a crush on your profesor, you knew it, but you also knew it was harmless. It wasn't like you were going to act on it, and it wasn't like he occupied ur mind all of the time. You were still attracted to other people, and you only really fantasized about him when he was in your line of sight. How could you not. You just knew his tall muscled body would be able to  throw you around easily. You tried not to think about it whenever he spoke to you, but trying not to think about it usually made you think about it more, which was never any good. It was a good thing he only talked to you once in a blue moon.
    You stepped into the classroom, seeing a few people sitting already, laptops and notebooks on their desks.  You felt a rush of adrenaline shoot through you. You had forgotten how much you loved this class. It didn't even have anything to do with Professor Ren, it was just an interesting class. Art history was your passion, and it was a dream come true to be in the class. You were always in awe whenever a new piece of art popped up on the projector. It was like you were discovering a new world, like you could reach out and touch a piece of history and an artists emotions all at once. Professor Ren was just the cherry on top. 
   You sat at an empty seat near the front, glad to get a good seat to see the artwork displayed up close. Doodling the pieces in your notes always helped you remember information better, and being able to see all the details helped with that.
     The class filled up pretty quickly, and professor Ren entered last.  He looked taller than he did the last time you saw him, and you held your breath without realizing.
  "Good afternoon. I assume you all are ready to start the lecture". His eyes roamed over all of the students. You could have sworn his eyes locked with yours, and stayed that way for a split second ,before the rest of his body turned to walk behind his desk.
     After that moment, the lecture went by smoothly. Your focus stayed on the art, except for a single moment in which a short girl entered the room, apologizing to Ren for interrupting , somewhat sarcastically, and he smiled at her and shook his head knowingly. She continued to whisper some words to him, before she left and carried on with his lecture. A small part of you wished he would smile at you like that, lean back in his chair and look at you like that.
   As soon as class let out you made a dash towards the doors. You wanted to avoid the professor at all costs. You couldn't explain it well, but seeing him smile at that girl made u unexplainably jealous. It's not like he was yours to claim.
  "Stay." He exclaimed. While gathering your things, you had been left behind, trailing behind all the other students trying to run out the doors.  His words were obviously aimed at you.
     Your heart beat in your chest rapidly. So it was true, you had made eye contact at the beginning of the lecture. He had noticed your missing assignments and was surely going to give you a stern talking to. You could feel the beat of your heart in your throat, closing it up and making it hard to breathe.
   "Relax, I'm not here to scold you on your missing assignments"
  A choked whine escaped your throat and you visibly cringed in embarrassment as you turned towards him.  You were a mess , and all the professor had done was  call you over. A thousand thoughts whirled through your head. What if he was kicking you out of his class? What if he knew you had been checking him out all semester? What if he had seen  you roll your eyes at the pretty girl who had come in before and was going to give you extra work for disrespecting his little friend?
    "I wanted to talk to you about your absences. At first I noticed I was missing quite a few assignments from you, and then I realized you weren't even coming to class. You're one of my top students so of course I noticed the lack of  eloquent papers atop my desk. I don't want to come across as a strict parent, but if I may ask, why have you been absent?"
   No he may not ask. He had no reason to really. It was none of his business. But then again, maybe he was just trying to be kind. Maybe he cared about you. Maybe he looked at you just as much as you looked at him. One of his top students? You would have never imagined you would get this kind of praise from any professor, especially not one of the strictest professors at the university. There was so much to unpack.
    No. He didn't care about you. That was confirmed when he mentioned sounding like a strict parent. You scolded yourself for thinking even for a minute that he cared about you. He did not know you, and was several years your senior. You were a student and he was a professor. He was just trying to find a nice way to remind you he was still missing all those assignments.
      Though, Ren did not seem like the type for niceties. He had no reason to be kind to you. Your face started heating up as your brain went into overdrive.
     "Oh, sorry professor,"you were going to answer him, despite it really not being any of his business. "I've just had a rough week. Some personal issues I had to deal with. I will get all my missing assignments to you as soon as possible."
    Of course you couldn't tell him you had been too depressed to move out of your bed or even fix up your hair. It had been a nightmare week full of crying and sleeping and more crying. Your eyes never stopped burning with tears and surely you had the dark circles to show for it. He leaned back, sitting on the edge of his desk, looking at you. His brow was slightly furrowed and he wore a serious expression. It showed no emotion, yet you felt as if he was reading you like a book.
        "Don't worry about it, I'll exempt them from your final grade. I'm sure your personal issues don't need the added stress of 2 papers on top of the ones to come."  His tone upset you a bit. It sounded mocking, not because of what your personal issues were, but because he could tell you were being way too vague about what those personal issues were, vague enough for him to put the pieces together. This was no family emergency or college breakup.
      "Thank you so much sir, I'm sorry to disappoint" you sighed out in relief. This man was sent from the heavens surely. You already had so much work from the other classes you had missed, 2 more papers would have surely been the straw that broke the camels back.  You had an unearthly want to please the professor however, so you felt guilty that you couldn't prove your worth with the two essays.
    "No disappointment at all. In fact, I wanted to also talk to you about an internship program that has been brought to my attention. During the summer, some students along with some other professors and I are traveling to Italy. We will be doing archeological work , as well as exploring art restoration. It'll be an amazing hands on experience that I think would suit you well. I can see your love and passion for this subject and encourage you to take part in this. I would be able to teach you a lot more than I may be able to in this classroom setting." 
  Your heart was racing a million miles a minute. An internship ? In Italy? With the finest man to ever walk the earth? Doing the thing you loved most? Surrounded by beautiful art?  It was a dream come true.
   His last statement was what got to you the most though. He would be able to teach you a lot more. It sounded so personal.  Like he would cater his teachings to you, to share some deeper knowledge with you. He made it sound like he would whisper all the answers to all the questions in the universe right in your ear. You were ecstatic.
   "Sir it would be an honor! I would love to! Thank you so much for this opportunity!" You all but squealed. The corner of his lips turned up, almost smiling. Almost.
  "Of course. I will have to let Ms. White know, she is the senior in charge of all the interns, and she has just told me of this opening during my lecture." Your heart skipped a beat, and you weren't sure if it was from excitement or the pang of jealousy coming back to you.  She was a student, and professor Ren seemed well acquainted with her. The thought made you slightly upset, but you shook it off and replaced it with another thought. Professor Ren had been made of aware of this opening only moments prior, and his first thought was you. He didn't sit by a list checking off names of good candidates. He heard about the opening, and thought of you.
    "Oh ! That was that pretty girl you were smiling at." You rushed the words out without thinking. You wanted to melt into the floor. You didn't mean to sound like you were paying attention to who or what he smiled at, you just meant to point out you had noticed the woman come in. He would know for sure now, know you had fantasized about him giving his attention to you, his praise. Fantasized about sitting in his lap after a lecture, having his hands roam your body as he clicked away at his laptop. Sure your fantasies were rather domestic, but they were fantasies nonetheless.  He smirked.
     "You noticed? That I smiled at her?" Every word stabbed deeper into your heart. He sounded like an excited  teen talking about his crush. 
   "Yeah. Sorry. You two seem to get along well, I couldn't help but notice" you stared at the ground.
      You could feel him smiling in front of you, and you wanted to slap the grin right off his face.  
      "And you were jealous?"
If your heart wasn't skipping before, it definitely was now. In fact, your heart was jumping and taking leaps as if it was playing the floor is lava in a room with two chairs as far apart from each other as humanly possible. Your voice got caught in your throat, and you were sure you let out a weak little whimper. His body seemed giant now, looming over you.
"Come closer" you did as you were told, somehow. You felt as if you should have been explaining yourself. As if he  should have been explaining himself. His comment was way out of line. Right ?
  "She's a family friend, which is why we are so comfortable with each other. No need to be jealous. Plus, she wasn't nearly as good a student as you"
  His words were all so inappropriate, and you knew it. For some reason you didn't want it to end. He said everything with a straight face, though his words were flirty, his face remained professional.
   Maybe this was how he praised all his students. Maybe he didn't mean to come off as flirty at all. Maybe he just meant to tell you that you were doing great in his class. His matter of factly tone almost convinced you this was the case. Almost.
    "I see how engaged you are in class. Your papers show you have a true love for Art and it's history." He wanted to say so much more. Wanted to recall seeing your eyes light up as he showed the class the gold foiled pieces of art. The shimmering reflection in your eyes making you look like an angel, like your love for the piece was going to burst out through your large pupils. You had popped out easily in the class of hooded eyes and wandering ears.
   "Sir I-," you stuttered. You couldn't remember the last time you had received this much praise at once. Your heart was full. He seemed proud of you. An unfortunate side effect of this was that all of his attention towards you had caused a little trouble between your legs you were aching to fix.
   "I'm sorry, I am being extremely unprofessional" he cleared his throat and stood up a bit. "My apologies, sincerely". Your brows dropped and you knew you were pouting. You couldn't help it. It felt like you had been so close to getting something more from the professor. You let out a disappointed whine. You seemed to have lost all the care you had before. There was no way he wasn't teasing you before, when he spoke of the girl. If he wasn't, then you were about to find out. It wasn't professional for him to make a move, but maybe he would be convinced to do so if you made the move first.
    "You don't have to stop sir, I appreciate your kind words more than you know. I love your lectures. Love listening to you talk... about art" you leaned in closer. You now stood between his legs, hands reaching softly up to his chest to play with his tie. You felt anxious, changing your mind on wanting to make the first move. He had to have known you were getting way too close, being way too friendly, but he didn't move an inch. His eyes were trained on yours, a serious expression adorning his features. He looked almost mad, or concentrated. Strict.
   "I know what you're doing, so let's just cut the bullshit. I've noticed how you stare at me. I don't mean to flatter myself but really you are very obvious about it."
    All your confidence from before was gone, and you feared what he would say next. Would he hate you? Think you were disgusting? Trail you along only to humiliate you? Your brow twitched nervously.
     "It's cute. And now here you are , attempting to be bold and make a move on me. You don't think I can make the move myself? Do you think so little of me?" He grinned wickedly while you shook your head no. His dominant aura had your head spinning.
  "Good. I could fuck you right here right now if I really wanted to . Making the first move is not something I can't do ,bunny. If I wanted to get physical with you, I would simply ask. I am not the shy type, and definitely not the type to be condescended." He brought a gentle hand up under your chin. You regretted trying anything. Sure, this was hot as hell, but you hadn't meant to question his authority or treat him as if he was a clueless kid. The boldness of his words shook you. Everything had gone from one to one hundred way to quickly for your tired brain to process. But if he could make the first move, why didn't he? Did he really not find you sexually appealing at all? Of course you weren't dressed to impress, but it still hurt a bit. At this point, this seemed like a reoccurring problem you couldn't find the solution to. All your previous boyfriends had been with you because you were "cute", a surface level compliment that when repeated enough, made you feel like you were nothing but cute. Of course they also thought you were sexy, but for some reason you never caught on to that. Maybe because they never expressed it well, or maybe because you were simply blind to it. You felt as if nobody was sexually attracted to you. You felt as if you were too much "cute" and not enough sex appeal.  You felt your eyes get misty and you hoped he would let go of your chin soon, because you did not want to be looking into his eyes when u burst out crying at the rejection you felt.
  "That's not to say I don't want to do those things with you. I just respect you, and your passion for what you do. You impress me, and that isn't an easy feat. Of course I can respect you and have sex with you simultaneously , but I don't want you getting the wrong idea. I don't want you thinking all I see you as is some sex object to please me. Make sense bunny?"
   You couldn't possibly handle the rollercoaster of emotions this man was sending you on. That damned nickname made your legs melt. His affection and assertion of dominance all tangled up together was driving you crazy. You wanted to touch him. You wanted him to touch you. This was unreal. He had really noticed all your hard work, noticed you missing, noticed your passion for art. He had noticed your eyes lingering a bit too long as well and he had noticed the jealousy in your voice.  You nodded your head at him slowly.
    "Yes sir." You almost moaned out. Your shaky breath was so close to his face now. You could feel it bounce off his skin and back onto you. It was intoxicating. His cologne smelled amazing too. Not too strong. Nothing that would give u a headache. Just a light scent of something clean and refreshing.
    "Good girl. I expect to see you in class tomorrow?" He asked, blurting out one thing after the other as if those two things went together just fine. He still held your chin with the tips of his fingers.
   "Of course sir."  You said shakily, your eyes fluttering shut in embarrassment and your hands playing with the edge of your hoodie. Out of seemingly nowhere, you felt a pair of soft lips on your neck. He flicked his tongue skillfully over your neck as he kissed it quickly. Your eyes shot wide open as you saw him come back up and look at you in the face. He was so gentle, yet possessive, leaving a wet and  messy kiss on your neck as a sign of, well, something.
"On your way then"

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