𝗡𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 -𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚘𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚎 '𝙻𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚎' 𝙻𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎

Chapter 22

Y'all gave this book 2k reads so thank you. In honor of 2k, here comes another chapter.
Aunt March's house. May of 1866.
  "So I thought about this." I tell him as he sits down.
"You thought about what?" He questions.
"About us." I say as I go over and look out the window,"James, I love you. I really do. You've been my best friend since we met."
"Okay so what's the problem?" He asks me.
"The problem is I love you." I reply and turn to him.
He stands up," I'm confused."
"I love you, but I'm not in love with you. I need time." I clarify,"I'm not ready to get married. I am 19. Meg just got married and she's twenty two ."
James sighs." Well, I can't wait. I'm 21. I am ready to settle down. I love you, Mary. Please just do this for me."
He takes my hand into his palm. I look down at our hands in each other, " No. I need to stop doing things for people. If I do this, I won't be happy."
He quickly takes his hand away from mine. I put my hands back to my side.
"James, you don't deserve this. You're amazing and you'll find someone one day. And I hope that when I'm ready, I'll find someone too. Who knows? It could be you." I try to break it to him easily.
"It's okay. I understand." And with that, he walks out of the room.
I sit down on the bed. Am i going crazy? The man of my dreams was him and I rejected him.
No! No more second thinking myself. I'm not ready and that's alright.
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      I wake up to James coming into my room, "Get up! Today is the day you go to Europe and one day closer to our wedding."
       I sit up and look over at him bustling around,"what do you mean?"
       "We are still getting married. You're going to realize that you want to get married. That's why I'm here." James says while dragging me out of bed.
     "That's not what you said yesterday. You said you understood." I hesitate, turn and walk to the window.
    "Well I hadn't thought about it yet." He steps closer. "The truth is I think you're wrong. But let's not be hasty." He reaches out to places a hand on the small of my back.
       "James!" His face softens and he tries to come closer to me, "I'm not ready."
"I know, which is why, I'll wait until you are. I was wrong last night. I love you and yes, I'm 21, but I'll wait til I'm 27 if it means I'll be with you." James shrugs.
        I point towards the door. With a smile, he leaves. I know I'm going to hear a mouthful from Aunt March today about this.
       I just can't wait. I take out my note book.
    See, the thing is I'm not ready. Laurie was right. I need to focus on my self for awhile.
     But I'm not going to go half way across the world to find Laurie. I'm going halfway across the world to find what I need.
      He was wrong about that. That I'll come back to him. I won't.
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       "I can't believe you! I give you everything and this is how you repay me! You break off your engagement with James! He's wealthy and nice and handsome! What more can you possibly want?" Aunt March yells at me.
        We are in the carriage on the way to our estate in Paris,"Love! I want love, Aunt March! You know I'm not in love with him. I want to be in love. Besides, I didn't break off the engagement. It's just on pause."
       Aunt March purses her lips,"I understand. I wanted love too when I was very young. Very foolish too. But then ....we will just have to find you love."
        I smile as Amy turns her attention back to us,"I'm so excited!"
      "Amy, you're here to learn French." I deadpan, "it's not that exciting."
      "You're such a pessimist, Mary." Amy defines.
      I roll my eyes,"No. I'm wise. Not everything in the world is happy."
     "Aunt March, is she going to be like this for the whole trip?" Questions Amy.
       "Dear, I'm afraid she's been like this her whole life." Aunt March scoffs.
They laugh and I look back down at my sketchbook.
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         "Why is the kitchen on fire?!?!" Amy yells, coming downstairs.
          A rag caught fire so I threw it on the ground and started stomping on it.
          "I was baking a pie!" I defend.
           "That explains it!" Amy panics.
              She gets a bowl of water and throws it on the rag. The fire goes out and we are left with a scorched up rag.
            I sigh and sit down, "That was a close call."
         Aunt March walks into the kitchen with a stern face,"What is going on?"
         Amy laughs," Mary set the house on fire."
          "I was cooking!" I yell in defense.
           "You need to be more responsible." Aunt March chimes in as she sits down.
          "I am the most responsible out of all of us!" I put my hand to my chest.
         Amy scoffs,"You just set the kitchen on fire!"
        "Yes and I'm taking full responsibility for it." I stick my tongue out at her.
         "At least, you take responsibility for that." Amy mutters.
          "Speaking of responsibilities," Aunt March begins,"How is your French going?"
       Amy smiles,"Ça se passe très bien. Je coupe un cochon."
      "You're slicing a pig?" I laugh.
       "Is that what I said?" Amy tilts her head to the side.
       Aunt March rolls her eyes and stands up,"I'm going out. Amy, you're coming with. You need more practice with French."
        Amy nods her head and stands up. I stick my tongue out at her with a laugh.
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Dear Jo,
These last few months in Europe have been hard. The scenery is beautiful and everyone here is so nice. I just can't help but worry about Beth. Is she feeling better?
Nothing is new with my life. Amy is terrible at French but is really fitting in. Amy and Fred are getting along really well. I fear he is going to ask her hand in marriage. There goes another sister.
I can't believe that while I was away Meg gave birth to twins! That's amazing. I wish I could've been there. I've been studying to be a nurse so I could've helped out.
We went to a formal party with Aunt March a few days ago. A man asked me to dance but I said no. I'm scared. I haven't told anyone, but the only boys I have ever felt anything for, hate my guts now.
Poor James. He is such a charming and handsome man. He must hate me. I feel terrible. He is coming to Europe like he planned before I paused the engagement.
Both him and Laurie think that I will come crawling back to them. I will do nothing of the sort. As much as I want to be loved. I want it to be requited love.
I've only ever been in love one time. And I'm admitting to myself and you, the man I was in love with was Jerry from 5th year. I'm kidding. I hope you're okay.
With concern and love,
Mary March
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