Daddy For The Night

The Real Questions

The music felt like it was inside my actual body. It was intoxicating. I close my eyes and let Brent take on the weight of my body. We had been going for a couple of hours. Brent and I's bodies hadn't separated since the music started. My body was sore, and I knew I was tired. Brent was an energizer bunny, I was sure he could go the entire night. I didn't want to disappoint him, so I did my best to seem like it was good to go all night too. But it was getting more and more difficult to find the energy.

"You tired?" Brent leans down and says in my ear. I was actually glad he asked me. Going limp in his arms "Yeesss." I whine. Brent burst out in laughter and lifts me off my feet. "Poor little thing. All tuckered out." I take a deep breath. "I can try to keep going." I really wanted to make him happy. I knew he didn't want to leave yet. "No. You need rest, and it's too crazy here for that. We should get you home." I felt so lame for leaving something like a rave so early. I really needed to work on my stamina. Brent was older than me, there was no excuse.

Putting my feet back on the ground Brent takes my hand and we make our way through the huge crowd of dancing bodies. "Don't we need to tell your friends we are leaving?!" I yell out. Brent couldn't hear me. I feel a tug on my other hand. Looking back I see it's Kenny. "You leaving?" She looked to be on something for sure. I had been offered something by Anthony earlier, but I turned it down. I wasn't someone who enjoyed drugs of any kind. I rarely even partook in drinking. I didn't judge anyone who did, it just wasn't a desire of mine. I nod at Kenny to let her know the answer was yes. Her cute little face formed a pout. Letting go of her hand I mouth sorry and let Brent pull me away.

I really did like her. She was so sweet. Luciana, on the other hand, could get hit by a bus. I didn't really understand women like her. Not being the jealous type, I didn't understand her reaction to me. Then again, it might just be because I have never truly felt a deep connection with someone before. Perhaps if I did, I might experience what it's like to be possessive. Till then her behavior was unacceptable to me. I'm sure I would face her again. I would try to tolerate her. But only because she was Brent's friend.

The crowd started to thin out, we were obviously starting to reach the edge of it. "We should have told the other we were leaving. " I say finally gaining Brent's attention. "They're all adults. I'll text them later to let them know we got back to your place safe." He replies turning his attention back to guiding me back to the road. How the hell were we going to get an Uber out here I thought to myself. The driver that had dropped us off had a hard time finding it. I couldn't imagine one being able to find us any easier. I was always in my head about things that I didn't really need to worry about. Brent seemed to be confident that we would get home. I should trust him. Right?

Trust. Now there's a foreign virtue. Like with being vulnerable, I had also never really trusted people. I was paranoid. It was one of the reasons I was scary good at figuring out people's motives. I was still trying to decide on what Brent's angle was. Was he doing this for himself, or did he really actually care about me? Did anyone really truly care about you without there being some type of motive? I was deep in thought when Brent brought us to a sudden halt. "You okay?" It was so dark I couldn't make out the features on his face. "I think so," I answer.

"What's on your mind." I feel his hand go to my face and cup it. I place my hand over his. "I'm just in my head," I answer truthfully. How did he know to ask me? It was like he could feel me thinking. "I know, that why I asked what's going on inside it." His thumb goes to lips. I feel a surge of heat shoot through my body. "Do you really want to know, or are you just saying that?" I jerk away from his touch. All of a sudden I felt like taking off at a full sprint. "You're scared," Brent says his voice going soft. "Don't be scared, Tori. You don't need to be afraid." His words didn't make me feel any less like running.

"Why did you wait all this time to be this way with me? Why did you want me to meet Kenny? Are you trying to get some sick fantasy of yours fulfilled?!" I shout. Shit. I was panicking. The sting in my nose told me I was close to tears. No. Not right now. It had been such a good night. Shut up, Tori. Just shut up. "I don't understand. What the fuck is all this? I feel like you took advantage of me while I was vulnerable. I-I-I." Tears start to pour. Well, there goes the night. Why couldn't I just let a good thing be a good thing?

Brent hadn't made any attempt of moving towards me. He heard me out. "Are you done?" He asks. His voice calm. Sniffling I cross my arms. "No," I say in defiance. "Okay. What else?" I didn't really have anything else to say. I just didn't want to hear his response. It was scary vocalizing all your fears to someone. What if he told me I was crazy? What if he told me I was right to think the way I did? "I-I don't know." My arms going slack at my sides. "Tori, you aren't a fantasy. I waited because you were not ready for me when we met. I wanted to be your friend first. I wanted you to meet Kenny because I feel like it's important for you to see someone accept who they are fully."

"Bu-but why? Why do you care so much about me?" There it was. The truth. I didn't understand that aspect of human beings. I had cut off caring for others due to constantly being disappointed. So Brent caring for me when I didn't show it in return was mind-boggling to me. I was a cold fish on most days. How did I attract someone so warm? How did I manage to trick someone so giving to come into my world? I didn't deserve his kindness. He deserved someone whole. Not a girl who pretended to be a child to deal with stress. He deserved a woman. Hot fresh tears began to stream down my face.

"Oh Tori, please don't cry baby." Brent steps forward. "Please don't cry, baby. You're too pretty to be out here in the dark crying. Come here." As soon as Brent's arms are around me I begin to sob. "I-I don't understand how you c-could wa-want someone li-like meeee." This was embarrassing. I never cried, let alone sobbed. What the hell was happening to me? What was this? My body shakes with sobs. I couldn't control it. It was like something inside had burst open. Like the damn to my entire soul had been punctured. I felt like I would drown.

"Let it out. I'm here." Brent coos one of his hands go to support the back of my head his other arm around my waist. "You have to be exhausted." He adds swaying me back and forth. He was so good at comforting. "I want to answer all these questions, but how about we do that when we aren't in the middle of nowhere, huh? Maybe get some food in you and a nap, hmm?" My sobs begin to become small hiccups. "Y-y-yeah. U-u-k-kay." I murmur into his firm chest. I really was very tired, and now that he mentioned it I was hungry too.

"Taco Bell?" He asks. "Mmm.. Taco Bell." I say smiling face still in his chest. How in the world did this man just manage to have me sobbing to smiling about Taco Bell? Was I crazy? I had to be crazy to have such emotional highs and lows. This couldn't be normal. I had never felt like this before. So the only rational thing to say was I was crazy. I had gone insane. Great.