The Beta's Mate Returns

9

Illinois, 2019

I felt the heat of the morning sun as it beamed brightly against my face. A sense of panic swept through me, but I brushed aside my throbbing limbs and jolted up from my heavy slumber. A wave of dizziness forced me to lay back down while my stomach churned bitterly in response.

I had one destination in mind while I slowly made my way down the lit hallway; Matthias. My fears were thwarted as the sound of my sleeping boys' snores echoed loudly in my ears. I reached down gently, pressing my hand on his pale cheeks lovingly, and looked with bitterness at the dutifully packed suitcase and clothes strewn across the bed.

"I love you.", I whispered as I pressed a kiss against his forehead and made my way towards the living room.

I grabbed the bottle of pills from the medicine cabinet shakily and clenched the sides of the toilet as the contents of my stomach emptied themselves. Everything ached as I laid my head against the toilet bowl and eyed the bloody bile with a grimace. If I kept doing work for the council my life would be in danger. Matthias needed someone to protect him when I was gone and I had the feeling one day things might not end well for me.

No, I had to live, I scolded myself. The council would never let me go so easily; that's why they gave me these pills in the first place. I remembered the countless innocent victims who had wanted to live being killed at my hands and downed the pills in my shaky hands with resignation.

I spent the remainder of my night chasing shadows along the walls while fighting through a feverish haze.

When I awoke again, the lights from the sun burned my eyelids as a tense headache rippled my body.

I walked down the hallway groggily and found Matthias bent over his bed looking displeased as he threw the clothes down.

"Oh, Matthias.", I ground out feeling anger rushing through my veins icy and bitter. Matthias deserved better than anything I had to offer. I bent over to grab his trembling shoulder with nimble fingers but he turned then and the violence simmering in that gaze stopped me dead in my tracks. My child with the blood of two demons running through his veins, a wicked curse indeed.

"What are you doing in here?" Matthias scoffed with those eyes of him forcing me to acknowledge his power.

"Matthias, please hear me out?!", I calmly asked as I reached out towards my son's true form.

Matthias seemed to think about forgiving me, but then his expression morphed into one of disdain.

"No, mom. I know you never cared about me, so don't try now.", Matthias drawled on before running outside into the woods.

Every single word was a knife in my chest, but this time nothing I said would fix the damage done, and I had los the right to fix any type of permanent attachments long ago.

Even as he shifted into his true form, I could sense his lack of forgiveness. I walked across the bed of water agonizing over forcing him to submit to my will, and pitied myself for my lack of compassion.

As I pitied myself an Eagle spread its' wipngs wide and soared across the cloud-ridden sky magnificently.

The breathtaking winged creature flew with purpose, swooping down into the marsh, searching for its' prey.

After a few seconds, the raptorial bird was victorious in its' hunt for sustenance, and it ripped the sea trout from the marsh with its' sharp talons.

No matter how hard the seat trout attempted to escape the clutches of its' captor, it found that the grip of the powerful bird was too strong.

The sea trout relented and was taken back to a nest high in the trees by this merciless bird.

I sat watching this scene unfold while the eagle finally settled into its' nest looking proud of its' work.

Moments later, the eagle consumed its' prey as the delicate balance of life and death was restored.

I wondered, who had I become? The eagle or the sea trout?

I dug my hands into the swampy gunk of earth as I grew angered by the uncertainty of my answer. I was spiraling out of control.

It didn't matter anymore.

All that mattered was finding a safe place for Matthias to live without me near him, and I could be freed from the burden of having to be responsible for killing him on the inside.

I was a defiled monster without any emotional connections, it was time I started acting like one.

I allowed that feeling of inner turmoil to spread through the soil. A cluster of intertwining vines formed from my finger tips as the plants shot out at the eagle perched high in its' nest.

I promised myself I wouldn't kill another animal, but as the vines choked the life from the unsuspecting prey, a part of me was delighted.

Sickened with my thoughts, I released my prey from the encapsulating strength of these vines.

What was I trying to prove by killing a creature that was simpy fighting for survival like myself?

Sadly, it was too late.

The predatorial bird, ravaged by my tight vines, crumpled from that high nest as death welcomed the creature back into the earth.

I cursed whatever higher power was in control of my fate as the torrential rain poured down violently against my dry skin. The rain would never relieve me of this burden, and killing an innocent eagle was merely another reminder of my failure to protect the things I loved.

"Goddamnit what have I done?", I screamed into the void of this estuary.

The vines retracted into the earth as my mind was haunted by images; the burning child, an eagle choking under this 'gift' that the moon goddess had given me, and my blade covered in the blood of my trembling body.

Disgust wrenched through me as the image of that poor child, burning lifelessly in the flames, clouded my vision.

I steeled myself from the grief of knowing this awful truth.

The disgustingly powerful council of werewolves had done something so horrible in their past that they were paying the consequences of those actions even now.

I was a merely a pawn.

I accepted my fate.

I allowed the voices of the plants, chanting of their horror and fear at my touch, and basked in their toxicity.

One thing was certain as I walked home to find my son moping around the garden looking dreadful

We were leaving soon and I was going to have to find a place for Mathias, and I would need to find that place soon, because time was running out.

A/N hope you enjoyed. please let me know what you think.