A QUEST FOR SOMETHING OR OTHER

Chapter Seven - The Trolls

Our heroes or whatever they are found themselves dangling upside down by their ankles via some rope attached to a branch, overhanging the Troll's campsite. Their weapons were shaken off them by the creatures, and now lay propped up against a tree in the corner. The Trolls were now keeping themselves occupied until dinnertime approached. The one around closest to the fire and the sack of Alligators was now dawning a small pair of spectacles on his face whilst attempting to read a copy of the local tabloid and the other was gathering some wooden bowls and utensils, setting up what looked to be a makeshift kitchen, only a couple of meters away from where they were dangling. John tried to pull himself upright, in an attempt to stop the blood rushing to his head, but flopped back down again, tired and red faced. Pumpkin on the other hand was looking deep in thought, mouthing words and counting. John turned to him.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

"One sec" Said Pumpkin, still mumbling nonsense.

"You hatching a plan?"

"Shh, in a minute" Hushed Pumpkin.

"Well it'd be nice to know what you are thinking right now, seeing as you're the reason we're both up here" Said John, turning away.

"TUNNEL!" Shouted Pumpkin quietly, looking proud of himself. John turned back.

"A tunnel? Now how the heck can we do that when we're stuck up here?"

"hm" Said Pumpkin, looking at John. "Sorry I wasn't listening. I was doing the crossword on the back of the tabloid" He said pointing at the Trolls newspaper.

"Oh my God, we're going to die" John said to himself.

The cooking Troll fumbled through some pots on the table and pulled out some plants and herbs. They looked at the pair and frowned, then turned away to their friend.

"Grablasjughthehth" They said, or something along those lines.

The other Troll looked up from his reading, we'll call him Specky and grunted. Ramsey, as we'll name the other, rolled their eyes, picked up a sack and disappeared trough some bushes in the woodland. Specky shook his paper and went back to reading, or at least trying the best he could to read.

"Now's our chance" Whispered John, wriggling like a fish on a hook, but still somehow going nowhere.

Pumpkin shrugged and joined in with wiggling. Now they looked like two fish on hooks, but still going nowhere. Specky looked up from his paper to view the commotion, rolled his eyes and got to his feet, putting the paper down and closing it. He began to trudge his way over to the fish.

"He's coming!" Said Pumpkin, who stopped moving.

They looked in front of them to see a spectacle wearing Troll, upside down mind you, looking rather annoyed that his reading had been interrupted.

"Oh great" muttered John.

"No, wait!" Sparked Pumpkin "I've got an idea!"

Pumpkin followed by shouting a variety of noises and spazzing his movements every now and again, clutching his chest and pulling faces.

"Are you faking a heart attack?" Whispered John.

"Well it was better than nothing" Replied Pumpkin, who'd stopped moving.

Specky gave them a stern look and waggled his finger.

"GruhUrhUrh" he said, kind of, before making his way back to the fire.

"Thought you'd have at least tried to headbutt him or something" Said Pumpkin.

John watched as Specky sat down, once again in an attempt to read in peace. He reached into his trouser pocket, fumbled around a little, then pulled out...

"An acorn?" Questioned Pumpkin "What are you thinking of doing? Blind him? Aim for his mouth and choke him? Hit his skin and give him an allergic reaction, causing him to pass out giving us time to escape?"

"Blind him" Said John, bluntly.

He played with it between his fingers, spinning it and overall get a feeling for its weight and shape. Not that he really needed to do this now, it was acorn weight and acorn shaped. It was after all an acorn.

"Remember, you're upside down" Said Pumpkin, softly. "You don't want to just throw it into the ground"

John raised or lowered his arm, closed one eye and took aim, like it was a dart, only this bullseye was a trollseye. Specky sat in his specs, non the wiser as to the plot that was about to occur. John took a breath, pulled back the nut and launched it at the Troll. It flew through the air perfectly like an acorn would before...

PLINK

Trollseye. Or rather it would have been, if the pair had actually bothered to consider the glasses in the way. The acorn hit the specs, cracking the lens, before dropping to the floor. Specky gasped in horror, dropping the paper and removed the glasses from his face. He looked at the lens in dismay, mouth wide open.

"MURGAHURMAHUR!?!?" He said, in a state of sadness.

The sadness quickly turned to anger once he looked down and saw the nut, picked it up, then up at our heroes, who were doing their best attempts of looking dead. Specky rose to his feet, bared his teeth and roared, crushing the acorn with his finger and thumb. He turned to them and began to charge. The pair came alive again, having heard a roar and the ground begin to shake, shaking the tree, shaking the rope, shaking them.

"Well that's not good" Said John, bouncing around like a newtons cradle on a bouncy castle.

Specky ran charged with brute force, putting his shoulder out front, when a lightbulb moment hit Pumpkin.

"Hug me!" He said.

"What?" Replied John. "This is hardly the time!"

Pumpkin grabbed hold of John's sleeve and pulled him close. Relax, it's not about to get mushy. He grabbed Johns's other arm and then held his hands, like they were about to begin a final pattycake. John was still confused as to what was happening, but decided to roll with it as he was this or become a piñata.

"Ready?" Asked Pumpkin.

"For what?..."

Specky roared again and charged at the pair, when pumpkin suddenly pushed John away from him like a spring, seeing the Troll running between them, not clocking that he's missed and head first into a nearby tree, knocking the poor thing unconscious, and now with two broken lenses.

"YES!" Said Pumpkin, as gravity kicked in and they both swung back down like a pair of conkers in a playground.

They hit each other with a thud, conveniently weakening the rope tying their legs which loosened it's grip, letting go of them. They hit the ground, again, with a thud, but hey, they were out of the tree. But there was no time to celebrate, even though Pumpkin was now looking in his bag for a party popper he didn't have. They reattached their gear, grabbed their stuff and ran, following the river, before Ramsey cam back, who must have heard the commotion.

"What about the canoe?" Asked Pumpkin.

"I think we're going to lose our deposit" Replied John, running as fast as he could.