The Way We Feel

14: Leila

hey, it's been entirely too long and i'm so sorry :/ i just wanted to jump straight into this chapter but there's a longer a/n at the end letting you guys know my future plans for this story

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"When my brother-in-law died, my sister stayed with me. She went to work every day, but at home I could tell that she was falling apart."

Leila tried to block out the sounds of the conversation her mom and a coworker were having in the living room.

"I haven't gotten there yet." Her mom's admission floated through the walls. "Angela and Leila haven't ever lost a close family member before, so I'm just trying to be there for them first."

She had already suspected as much, but this made her feel a twist of guilt. Three of their grandparents had passed away soon after they were born, and their last grandmother had died when they were very young, even before Angela had lost her hearing. Losing their dad was an unimaginable pain, and they hadn't had anything at all to compare it to, unlike their mom.

So she had pushed aside the grief at the loss of her husband, and the months of deterioration from the man she loved to someone else. This was the first time in months that Leila had heard her have a heartfelt conversation about the situation where she didn't have to comfort her and Angela.

"They're lucky girls, to have you."

They were.

Leila sighed, tugging her hair out of the braid it was in and redoing it, and then slipped in her earbuds. Classical music was supposed to help you focus, right?

She could still hear the murmur of their voices, but tried to focus on the paper in front of her. Her French homework was piling up, and it filled her with tension to even attempt to sort out the conjugations and sentence structures that needed to be completed by the end of the week. She probably should have gone to her teacher for help, but it was a lot easier to think she had a grasp on what they were doing when Zach was sitting beside her in class, muttering the answers to her in his impeccable accent.

Yeah, she hadn't really learned anything in that class.

She slipped out of her door and into Angela's room, finding her sitting in a pile of blankets at her desk.

Hey, she said, waving a hand to get her attention. Mom's coworker is still here.

That's good, Angela replied, smiling. I've been worried about her not having anyone to talk to.

Leila nodded, settling onto the bed.

Leila, I love you, but I need to have read and annotated this entire biology chapter by tomorrow. I don't have a ton of time to chat. There was a bit of harshness in the words, but her expression was kind and her hands moved softly. Leila couldn't help but chuckle.

We had a long weekend, and you're still in the same place as always. Angela threw an eraser at her. I hate French, Leila added. It makes no sense.

Angela spun her chair around, apparently dedicating her full attention to the conversation.

Can't help you there. Zach probably can, though. She motioned to the phone in Leila's hand.

Leila hesitated.

The other day, he told me something big, she signed slowly.

About his brother?

Leila frowned in shock.

Wait, did he tell you?

No, but from his reaction when we talked about him having siblings, I figured that there was a story there he didn't want to talk about.