the one that got away (h.s)

Chpater 18: Over Again

Harry got a coffee so I waited for him at a table. I was trying to mentally prepare for what was about to happen. There's no way this amount of stress is healthy for me. I had my chin resting on one of my hands waiting for Harry to come over to the table.

"Why didn't you ever text me back?" I had completely forgotten Harry texted me the day Derek and I broke up. I felt so stupid  because Harry's eyes were so sad and I brought my hands up to my face in defeat.

"Harry I'm sorry I should've called-"

"It's okay you and Derek are together-"

I wonder if we could get through a conversation without interrupting each other at least once.

"What are you talking about????"

Harry looked down not making eye contact. "Since you never texted back I wanted to check on you, but I saw Derek there and I left." My heart sank. I'm sure that was heartbreaking to see, but he didn't know what really happened and it bothered me he assumed we got back together.

"Harry we broke up last night. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but after it happened I called Grace. I wanted to tell you today but I didn't think it mattered anymore because of you and Camille." Harry started to turn blurry because my eyes were watering again. I noticed Harry's face relaxed when I talked about Derek, but he tensed back up again when I said Camille and his knuckled turned white. I pulled out the article and showed him. I could tell the photos were upsetting him .

"Olivia we just ran into each other at the club I promise it was nothing more than that. I'm not going to deny that I was drunk, but there was nothing there. Those photos look worse-" I stopped Harry from speaking by talking over him.

"Harry I'm so tired of going back and forth. im. Tired. I don't think my heart can take anymore heartbreak." My voice cracked and a tear fell down my cheek.

"Olivia don't act like you're the only one with a broken heart." His tone was more harsh and he raised his voice. I watched his eyes turn dark as he furrowed his brows together in anger.

"If you didn't go out and get drunk last night because you assumed Derek and I got back together I wouldn't have to break your heart." I gave him a harsh tone back and got up to leave.

"Olivia I'm-" Harry's voice cracked and grabbed my arm. I turned to look at him and he had tears welling in his eyes, but I jerked my arm from his grasp and walked away. When I got outside I let it all out again. Can't I catch a break? I try to calm myself down so I can call and Uber, and I started walking to get away from Harry because I knew he was still in there.

"Olivia wait I'm not done talking to you." Harry ran out the door and yelled. He ran to catch up to me and he was breathing heavy. His eyes were still glossy.

"Harry there's nothing left to say. You've said enough." I turned back around to walk away but he grabbed my arm again, this time harder so I couldn't break away.

"Olivia I'm sorry for breaking your heart. That's the last thing I would ever want to do to you, but you broke mine first. It broke my heart knowing you couldn't be mine. It broke my heart knowing you loved someone else. And it's going to keep breaking every time you walk away from me. I would be willing to have my heart broken by you a million more times though because then that would mean at one point you had my heart. I'm not asking you for anything either except another chance. Damnit Olivia I know I don't deserve your love, but I want another chance to earn it back." I was biting my lip to keep myself from crying, but Harry was letting his tears flow freely at this point.

My heart ached for Harry. We stood in silence for a minute, but we still made eye contact. He was still holding my arm but his hand had slid down to hold mine without me realizing.

"Okay." I nodded my head and sighed of relief. Harry and I had problems because of my relationship with Derek, but now he was out of the picture so maybe it could work this time around. Harry smiled from ear to ear and I could see his beautiful white teeth, and I realized how much I missed seeing him happy. He pulled me in for a hug and nuzzled his head in my neck so he could whisper in my ear. His scruff tickled my neck.

"Thanks liv."

After that we walked back to Harry's place and we didn't say much. There was nothing left for us to say to each other, but I could tell there was less tension between us and my life didn't feel so out of control anymore. Harry really did feel like one of my best friends and it made me sad when I could feel him slipping away from me. I had him back though now.

"So what are we gonna do when we get back to your place?" I broke the silence.

"I want to show all the music I've been writing recently." He grabbed my hand because we were crossing the street.

"Ooo are any of these songs about me?" I tried to brighten up the mood, but Harry didn't say anything he just smirked and gave me a side eye.

When we arrived to his place he went go get his guitar and I went to sit on the couch. I thought about the first time Harry and I met here and started smiling to myself.

"What are you smiling about?" Harry scared me and I snapped out of my trance. I just rolled my eyes at him and got closer to him on the couch. He had his guitar and I could tell he was excited to show me the songs he was writing.

"I already showed you Adore You, so I'm going to play you Golden."

I watched as he moved his hands freely across his guitar strings and started playing a melody. His fingers made his big rings look like they were normal size. He started singing and I watched his lips slowly part. His face was focused on the chords of his guitar but I could tell he was singing with all his emotions.

"You're so golden
You're so golden
I'm out of my head
And I know that you're scared
Because hearts get broken
I don't wanna be alone
I don't wanna be alone
When it ends
Don't wanna let you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I, I can feel it take a hold
I can feel you take control
Of who I am and all I've ever known
Loving you's the antidote"

I didn't pay much attention to the lyrics because I was mesmerized by Harry's voice and how passionate he was about music. I sat in awe as I watched him move his fingers up and down his guitar and create beautiful noise from his mouth.

"Okay now I'm going to play Falling." He inhaled to catch his breath and started strumming again.

"What am I now?
What am I now?
What if I'm someone I don't want around?
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'
What if I'm down?
What if I'm out?
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'
You said you cared
And you missed me, too
And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you
And the coffee's out
At the Beachwood Café
And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say
What am I now?
What am I now?
What if I'm someone I don't want around?
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'
What if I'm down?
What if I'm out?
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'
And I get the feelin' that you'll never need me again"

This song was almost as beautiful as Harry, and I smiled when he mentioned the Beachwood Cafe. It felt like our place because we always ran into each other there, and even if some weren't happy memories they were still memories of Harry. At the end he hit a really high note and it surprised me because I wasn't expecting it, but he executed it perfectly. The song made me emotional and I teared up a little at the end and I could tell Harry felt the same way. He brought one finger to the corner of his eye to wipe it and he set his guitar down so he could turn towards me.

"So what do you think?" He asked looking for my approval.

"I think those songs were beautiful Harry." I said looking into his eyes. He grabbed me and set my legs in his lap and held me by the waist.

"Beautiful songs for a beautiful girl." He kissed my forehead and I felt myself melt in his arms.

I was falling in love with Harry and hoped he felt the same way.