The Broken Pieces Left Behind

Chapter 29

Ed Sheeran was bleeding from the speakers if my headphones as I rode the elevator down. My eyes felt grainy and heavy. The fact that I hadn't been sleeping well was now beginning to show in the hollows of my eyes and the tiredness in my face.

The doors opened on a familiar floor and I held my breath hoping that it wasn't a certain boy with ocean eyes. It wasn't. Disappointment tugged at my heart and I rolled my eyes at myself. What exactly did I want? I didn't want to see him, but at the same time I did.

There was a girl standing there, only wasn't just a girl she was a woman, with tight spiral curls of ebony and coffee coloured skin. She had piercing onyx eyes and a slightly flared nose above full lips. She had widely flared hips and a tiny waist, the term hourglass figure immediately springing to mind.

"Sandy!" A voice called and it was a voice that I knew well.

I didn't need to look up to know that it was him. My body stiffened and my fingers tightened on the bag strap that crossed in front of my chest. My breathing quickened and I tried to make myself as small as possible, hoping that I could just blend into the walls of the elevator.

The girl turned around that her smile lit up her face like a Christmas tree.

"You forgot your phone," I heard him say.

The girl, Sandy, dipped her hand in the pocket of her bag and felt the pockets of her jeans, as if checking to make sure that it was actually hers. "That would have been bad," she answered playfully.

Taking a deep steadying breath I raised my gaze to meet his figure. He was only wearing pants that rode low on his hips, his hair messy and sticking up in all directions. His eyes were still swollen with sleep and I imagined that his skin was warm the way it always was. He just looked so, soft.

"Thanks," Sandy said flashing him a grateful smile as she kissed his cheek.

My body recoiled at the action. Who was she and why was she kissing him? Jealousy was an ugly thing, and it twisted inside my stomach until I tasted it in my mouth.

He grinned at her, the same that he used to give me. His eyes met mine. I felt the silence swallow us into a bubble that drove the air from my lungs and made tears burn in my eyes. The grin melted away. His face changed, hardening a mask of indifference slipping into place and all the soon the bubble had burst from the coldness of reality.

"I'll see you later handsome," she smiled.

He made a point of looking at her again and nodded ignoring me. The knife that had implanted itself in my chest when I saw him twisted painfully. She stepped inside the elevator and the last thing I saw as the doors closed was his naked back walking away from me.

For a guy who said he was in love with me he sure did move on fast, I thought bitterly. I rapidly blinked to clear the fogginess of my tears. That was unfair of me. What did I expect that he'd wait? I gulped in a breath and loosened my tight grip on the bag strap. My fingers felt cramped, and I flexed them to try and stop the feeling.

I should have left it alone. Say nothing to Sandy but I could feel the babble rising in my throat. It was none of my business who Jack dated. I mean we broke up. I broke up with him. How was I supposed to ask this girl if she was seeing him without coming off as a jealous ex. 'Hey, how long have you been seeing my ex-boyfriend who I broke up with but am still in love with' didn't exactly roll off the tongue without feeling weird or stalker-ish.

My fingers drummed against my thigh as a stole glances at Sandy her head bent looking at the phone unconcerned with me.

"How long have you known Jack?" I heard myself say instead.

I caught my lower lips between my teeth. Well there it was. Too late for me to just suck the words back into my mouth behind the prison of my lips. Embarrassment pinked my cheeks.

She turned to me and smiled, her dark eyes brightening and crinkling at the corners. Her full lips tilted into a smile that made her look even more beautiful. In that moment all the insecurities that I had about the way I looked flared tp life.

"A while," she told me. "He's a total hottie right. Him and his brother. Wow."

She fanned herself with one hand, the smile still in her face. I frowned. She had even met James. I thought that me meeting him was a special thing, but apparently it wasn't.

"Do you know them?" she inquired, slanting me a look with the tilt of her head.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. A little."

Thank God for little mercies because just when I felt my tears brim over the doors opened and I rushed out hearing Sandy call after me that it was nice to meet me. I swiped the back of my hands on my cheeks. I could return the words, because in fact it wasn't nice to meet her.

* * * * *

I wanted to talk to Erin. I was in a lousy mood and I needed her to be my sounding board, only she wasn't talking to me. I sighed loudly from my spot on the counter for maybe the tenth time since I had got here today. It was an exceptionally slow day and the time just seemed to drag by slowly.

My mind just kept replaying the scene from earlier with Jack and Sandy. They were comfortable, familiar and another sigh escaped from me.

"Okay," Jamie said from behind me, she had been picking up a lot of Erin's shifts lately. I thought my best friend was going a little too extreme in her attempts at avoiding me. "I'm just going to ask. Mostly because it has been so tense lately between you and Erin that I've felt so awkward. So what is going on between the two of you?"

I shrugged. "We had a fight."

"Okay. I fight with my best friend too, its just an hour later when we miss each other we talk again."

I sighed and pushed my hand through my hair. It is usually like that with us too, was usually. "It was a really bad fight. I don't think she wants to make up with me."

"So what did you to fight about?"

"Jack."

Her face showed shock. "Erin and Jack were, together?!"

A soft laugh came from me and I shook my head. "No. I broke up with Jack and she didn't think it was a good decision."

"Oh that makes more sense. Wait why did you break up with Jack, who in fact may be the most perfect boyfriend in the world."

"I thought it was the best decision at the time," I inhaled. "Now I'm not so sure."

"Okay then it's simple."

"How is it simple?" I started taking a deep breath. "I mean I broke up with a great guy who I am in love with because I was scared that I would end up like my mother who is so man crazy that it makes me crazy to think about. My best friend essentially hates me. And my boyfriend who is not my boyfriend anymore may have a new girlfriend who is so gorgeous that it makes me feel like a prepubescent boy."

"Hmmm," was all she said and I looked at her. Was that all she had to say? I was kinda hoping for a little more. "If all those things are wrong just fix them."

I threw my hands up in disbelief. "How am I supposed to fix things when no one wants to talk to me?"

"Make them. Look I don't know why you made those decisions but I do know you and you are a good person. I mean you're a little bit of a control freak sometimes but I like that about you. So if you think that you made the wrong decision then change it."

I looked at the older girl, her cheeks were glowing and her eyes, hidden behind her glasses were kind. With a soft pat on my hands she turned and walked into the back room. I found myself feeling the burn of tears once again. She said it so simply that I wanted to believe that things could be so easily fixed. But I knew that it couldn't.

Things weren't going to be fixed simply because I wanted it.