Lunchclub/SMPLive oneshots?? maybe?? (discontinued)

bro can i borrow your serotonin my mom took mine away

Man, I sure do love intergalactic prison.

The sludge we're given for food? Good shit. My absolute favourite.

I mean, the aliens aren't too bad, but come on man, it's prison. And I've only been here for a week.

I don't even know why I'm here. I got arrested for possessing a weapon that's "too powerful". It's just my axe! Just because you're not powerful enough to use asspenis 7 doesn't mean you should get jealous on me.

The people in here are strange too. Some guy's in here for building a planet illegally. How the hell do you build a planet illegally? Sounds like my kind of guy.

Our cell blocks are sorted by species, which seems a little racist, man. Humans aren't allowed to interact with other species, we're all grouped together. On my first day I tried to talk to someone other than a human in line, I will not make that mistake again.

We aren't really allowed to do much, either. We are forced up at 8:00 by alarm clocks (what alien compound uses alarm clocks) and left to do our own thing in our cell. First off all, what's the point of waking us up when we aren't allowed to do anything? The warden must be on some mad trip.

At 10:00 we are escorted out of our cells to a sort of hangout area. It's mostly so we don't go completely insane without human interaction. It's a good policy.

I haven't talked with anyone, though. And before you call me lame, I'm not lame. I'm the coolest most handsome guy you've ever seen, and that's 100% true.

But today I was approached. I was minding my own business in the corner of the large concrete room, when a seemingly very angry man approached me, chatting with someone who sounded british.

"Hey shithead, come with us." the larger angry man said, pointing behind him to the other man.

"Or he'll co-write and edit your death," the British boy snickered. The angry boy sighed, this seemed like an inside joke.

"Is this to intimidate me?" I asked. "I would have went with you guys anyways."

The guy dressed in read laughed, pointing at his friend. "I told you we didn't need to use your dumb plan!" he shouted. The other man just mumbled, "Shut up."

They lead me over to a concrete picnic table, the one you'd see in a park on earth. It seems to be their meeting space. Nerds.

The boy dressed in red sits across from me and starts speaking. "Ok, so this is Michael and I'm James. We're planning on escaping, and we want you in on it."

I blink in response. That was a lot to take in, considering what they were saying was against the law. "Why me?" I ask tentatively.

"Look at the other fuckin' people in this place!" The loud one-Michael-shouted. "As far as I can tell we're the only sane ones here!"

As I look around, I realize how true that statement is. There's a man running around yelling about some kind of "coin", being closely followed by a seemingly shyer man. Another loud person was shouting about some woman named Belle, and had a very thick German accent.

I turn back to them. "Yeah, you're right. I didn't realize until now." James and Michael exchange a look, and start laughing.

"Okay, so if you want in, we're going to have to see if we can trust you." Michael said leaning in. I felt like I was being investigated in a corny cop movie. "What are you going to do, shine a light on me?" I scoff. He ignores my comment.

"Don't take it to heart, he's a big softie." James tells me.
"Shut up James!" he says, going red.
"Sorry, continue."

"Okay, so what's your name, and why are you in this place?" He asks, regaining his composure. Now is the time he'd shine a light on me and I'd confess that I killed them.