based on the netflix series mostly, though i can absolutely write based upon the games or books.
this book is exactly what it sounds like
[REQUESTS CLOSED]
for some reason I was having a ton of trouble writing this- I wanted it to be perfect. it won't take me this long next time- promise!! I also can't promise it will be this long... it got away from me? also now there will be part three?????
word count: 1627 trigger warnings: language
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You were in full swing of the journey to find the "Devil of Posada" with the mysterious Witcher and Jaskier. You walked alongside the magnificent mare that Geralt lead into the mountains. Jaskier was pestering the poor man with tales of glory and conquest.
"Jas, chill out. You've gotta be stressing out the poor Witcher-" You said, bumping your shoulder against his harshly.
"I don't get stressed." the Witcher stiffly replied from beside the enormous horse. You hmmed in response, giving the Witcher a taste of his own medicine.
"Look, I have two hands, one for each of the, eh, devils horns," Jaskier said, shaking his hands wildly in front of him. You stifled a chuckle into your hand, and this did not go unnoticed by the stoic Witcher.
"Go away." The Witcher grumbled out, forging up the winding mountain, but Jaskier continued with his sales pitch enthusiastically, apparently not realizing that it fell upon deaf ears.
"Look, I heard your note and yes, you're right, maybe real adventures would make better stories. And you, sir, smell chock full of them. Among other things, I mean what is that? Is that onion? It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, you smell of death and destiny, heroics and heartbreak-" Jaskier continued selling this idea, when the Witcher interrupted.
"It's onion." He said, and you laughed outright this time. Jaskier shot you a withering glare and you swallowed your laughter again. The Witcher noticed and gave a slight shake of his head in amusement.
"Right, yeah, well." He continued as if nothing happened. The three of you continued trudging up the mountain, and Jaskier just kept on talking. You slowly started to tune him out, when suddenly Geralt halted the entire party. He beckoned Jaskier forward and promptly sucker-punched him in the stomach. Jaskier fell backward, and you doubled over laughing. He angrily stood up and dusted himself off.
"This would go a lot easier if you just did your job, (name.)" Jaskier whispered to you feverishly as you tried to collect yourself. You waved him off and began to catch up with Geralt.
"Come on, Roach." Geralt said affectionately to the large mare, as he mounted the horse. The three of you walked for a bit before you struck up the conversation again.
"Reading between the lines, and the gut punches, I would wager that you, sir, have a bit of an image problem. Jaskier could take care of that for you, you know." You said, trying to sweeten the deal. Geralt looked down at you in surprise, grunting out a non-worded response.
"For as much of a horses' ass as he is, he's actually quite good at what he does." You continued, brushing off the protest from your traveling companion. "He can have the entire North singing the tales of Geralt of Rivia, the, uh, White Wolf, or something, by the next moon."
