How Do I Make You Feel

Midnight Call

Ms. Shepard sat in the living room once more, laying still after her long cry. Her cell phone went off, and she quickly picked it up. "Hello? Is this CPS?"

"Hi, yes, this is Sharon again from Child Protection Services in Chicago. Is this Daphne Shepard?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"Thank you so much for being so cooperative. Our team of police have arrested your ex Stephen Shepard on account of physical abuse to a minor and one count of sexual abuse to a minor. Our team member from CPS has taken Gavin from the house and is keeping him in our head office shelter. Gavin is fine for now, but is very shaken up. He seems quiet, and will not speak. From our report, he's extremely traumatized."

"Oh, my god."

Ms. Shepard couldn't speak, because she instantly broke down. She could hear the muffled noise of Sharon trying to speak to her and get her attention, but she held the phone down and fell to the floor, gripping her arms and crying. 

"Ma'am, it's alright. Ma'am."

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Gavin sat in a room on a bed that was made up of a few blankets and a pillow. There was posters on the wall depicting happy smiles and good messages, with neon colours and sparkles and stars. The walls were painted a light blue, and the floor was carpet. Gavin sat curled up, his arms wrapped tightly around his legs, not looking up. His dark grey sweater was ripped in a few corners, and his jeans were loose.

A woman walked in. She had curly blonde hair, and had a bigger build. She wore a blue doctor's coat, and she held a clipboard and some paper. She closed the door behind her, and sat on a chair next to the bed. "Hello, Gavin. My name is Stacey, and I work here at CPS. Can you tell me how old you are?"

Gavin said nothing, his face still pale and quiet. 

"It's alright if you aren't comfortable talking yet. But I just want you to know that you are very safe now, and everything is going to be alright. You can talk to me."

He still didn't talk.

"Well, Gavin. If I look in my records, it says that you are sixteen years old. Can you at least tell me if that's true?"

Gavin still didn't talk, not even moving one bit. His heart raced, and he felt his left leg going numb.

"I see. Well, don't worry. We can talk another time. Everything is going to be okay, Gavin. We have contacted your mother who is going to fly down. I'll tell you when she arrives. For now, just relax. Get some sleep. If you need anything, please say or do something to let me know."

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"I could barely relax on the plane ride," explained Ms. Shepard, now in the lobby at the Chicago CPS. "This is all so new for me. I don't understand."

"Ma'am, I can assure you that Gavin is safe now. He's in a room down the hall over there. He wouldn't speak to me. He's extremely traumatized. From what we know, we can assume that his father Stephen has been physically and sexually abusing him."

"Can I please see him?" Ms. Shepard asked.

"Yes. We were also thinking that since his father can no longer be the caretaker, we would want to ask you if you would be willing to take custody of Gavin. That's if you can pass a drug test over at the police station, and sign some paperwork."

"Uh, yes. Yes. Of course I would."

"Follow me, then."

Ms. Shepard followed Stacey down a hallway, to a room that was marked with the number 12. Ms. Shepard took a deep breath, and then opened the door slowly. She saw Gavin, lying down on his side with his eyes half closed. He looked tired and scared.

She came in and sat down on the chair, and she put her hands over her mouth, smiling but crying at the same time. "Oh, Gavin. No. It's gonna be all right."

Gavin didn't make a noise, still lying there, the blankets wrapped around him.

Ms. Shepard tried to reach out to rub Gavin's back, but Gavin jerked his body away quickly.

"Take it slow," Stacey warned. "He's scared. I'm going to leave the room, but I need you to just talk to him. Let me know if you get anywhere."

Stacey left the room.

"Hey, Gavin. It's me, your mother. Daphne Shepard. I know we haven't seen each other in a long time. I actually live in Oregon now, in a small town called Burkon. It's a lovely place. Anyways, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through this. You don't deserve any of this."

Ms. Shepard stopped, looking into Gavin's dull, half closed eyes. She couldn't help but want to cry, but she kept it in. "I know you won't talk to these people here. I have a feeling you won't talk to me either. And you don't need to, okay? You don't need to. Do what makes you comfortable."
She took a pause, and then shook her head in disbelief. "If only I had known."

There was more silence, as Gavin stared at Ms. Shepard.

"I'm sorry for the divorce. You were too young for that. And I'm sorry I didn't fight for you when I should've. I could've stopped all this. I'm so deeply sorry, Gavin."