ekstasis

ii

I spend the entire night tossing and turning, unable to stop replaying what happened in the forest over and over again in my head. I don't think I manage to get an hour of uninterrupted sleep, and by the time I shuffle into my first class of the day, English literature, I'm already feeling like the living dead.

Not exactly the ideal first impression.

I'd hoped that, at the very least, we would just spend the day on going over the syllabus and making introductions and the usual first day nonsense, but no such luck. Not here at the prestigious Bragdon Academy. Instead, we dive headfirst into a discussion of the summer reading—Shakespeare's King Lear—which I only half-manage to stumble through.

By the time I leave Latin, I feel as if I'm on the verge of tears. Part of me knows it's just the nightmares and lack of sleep talking, but I feel overwhelmed, and so horribly outclassed by every other student here.

As I'm on my way back down to my dorm to spend my lunch break napping, I run into Alexei in the hallway. He's walking with another girl—tall, blonde, slender, a pair of wire-framed glasses perched on her nose—and they seem to be having an animated discussion.

I give him a shy wave as we draw closer. He's one of the only people here I've spoken to, and I can't help but feel a sense of loyalty to him. I don't even expect much of a response, but as soon as he sees me, he smiles, making the corners of his eyes wrinkle.

"You again!" He exclaims with a wide grin. "How's your first day going?"

"Well as it could be," I say, glancing at the girl next to him. "Hey. I'm Sophie."

"Christine," she says, dipping her head with a polite smile. "Pleasure to meet you."

"An old friend of mine," Alexei explains. "Christine, Sophie just started here this year."

"Oh!" She exclaims with the air of a fussy grandmother. "I can't imagine that's an easy adjustment. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," I say, tucking my hands into the pockets of my jacket.

"Well, you should come get lunch with us," she offers, smiling. "Alexei and I will introduce you to all our friends."

"Sure. Thank you," I agree hesitantly. I do need sleep. But maybe I should just count my losses for the day in class and spend the time trying to make some friends.

On our way down to the cafeteria, we make small talk about classes, move-in, even some gossip about the students we pass on the way. It's shockingly easy. I've never been much of a conversationalist, but Alexei and Christine both have a natural charm that more than compensates for my awkwardness.

Once we get to the cafeteria, we all grab sandwiches. Alexei and Christine lead me to a table by the windows at the front of the cafeteria, which a large group of people have already settled around. As she hugs one of them—a elfin-looking boy with curly blond hair and the same aquiline nose as Christine—Alexei introduces me to the rest.

"Hey, guys. This is Sophie. She's new here."

They all go around the table introducing themselves, and I do my best to put faces to names, but the flood of information is overwhelming.

I wave at them, doing my best to smile, but as I sit down next to Alexei at the head of the table, I can feel a pit in my stomach. I had wanted to make friends, just not so many of them at once. I can barely process the conversation as it skips from summer break to Plato to parties.

Suddenly, I'm shaken out of my trance by the blond boy sitting next to Christine—Daniel, I manage to remember.

"So where'd you go to school before Bragdon, Sophie?"