𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘

59 | vulnerable

Elena's POV

"I know that I'm asking this late but—" Jungkook begins but I interrupt him.

"I'm on the pill." And I know I'm clean since I do regular checkups.

"Okay,"

My face is pressed against Jungkook's chest and the whispering thump of his heartbeat makes me feel warm and sheltered. An arm is wrapped around me while his free hand is resting on his side.

Silence is enveloping us in a comforting way and it feels so intimate, so safe, so wonderful that all I want to do is close my eyes and listen to him breathe. I trace invisible shapes on his hard chest until I reach one of the scars on his abdomen. There are plenty of them that cover his navel area and torso and it's almost painful to look at. However, I don't pull away. My finger remains still on that particular scar a little above his bellybutton as it stretches out to his side and fades away.

Jungkook reaches for my hand and abruptly yanks it. Then he covers up his chest with the sheets and I extend my hand to flick on the lights.

"No, don't hide them." I plead. "I don't hide from you so you don't have to conseal that part of you."

But Jungkook removes his arm from around me and flips off the light switch. "I hate this." He says with gritted teeth. "The way you're looking at me right now. As if I'm pitiful. Pathetic. Weak."

"You're not pathetic." I say shaking my head. "Or weak."

He snorts. "Yeah, you're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I'm not. I meant what I said." I tell him and again he averts his glance.

"Elena you don't have to be kind—"

"This has absolutely nothing to do with being kind." I interrupt him. "Look at me." I say and he slowly turns to me. "I don't care how you got those scars Jungkook. The fact that you're here right now living and breathing just proves that you're strong. You're a survivor and if anything I'm proud of you."

A crystal tear falls from the corner of his eye and he swallows hardly. "I—I needed to hear that." He says his voice throaty.

Fuck, I'm gonna cry too. "And you know what? I hate pity. I refuse to pity you because if I let myself do that it means that I see you as someone small and puny. Weak. Because I know that you're not any of those things. You're fragile and that's okay because you're human. We're all fragile and we all have a breaking point. You're allowed to hurt, to feel pain and sadness and you know why?" His eyes are glimmering in the dark, their corners holding back tears. "Because you might cry black tears, ache and bleed on the floor but in the end of the day you're still here. You're alive." I reach out to lower the sheets from his chest and place my hand on it. "Pain only makes you stronger once you conquer it."

He kisses my knuckles one by one and screws his eyes shut while tears fall from the edges. "You want to know how I got them?" He asks lowly and tears well in my eyes.

Of course I do. "I thought we agreed I would tell you my secret and then you would tell me yours."

Jungkook wipes his face with the roof of his hand and I grab some tissues from the nightstand. He blows his nose and I rid the fluids from my eyes. When he finishes I take our tissues and cast them away on the bed.

"It's alright," he mutters. "You need to know at least one of the reasons I am the way I am."

"You don't have to pressure yourself." I assure him and he shakes his head. "I know this is a sensitive subject."