Wanting Bad

Chapter Two: Wanting Bad and She Feels It

Chapter Two:

Wanting Bad and She Feels It

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          I can't control what I'm feeling, I just want more of him and his touch.

I find my hands running down his stomach, feeling his carved abs. He grips a lock of my hair, almost too tightly but I don't care, and pins me against the wall. His body crashes against mine and his lips move from my own, down to my neck. His touch is supposed to sting my bruise, but he's kissing it soft, like he knows to be gentle. We're both breathless as the strange desire we have for each other becomes immeasurable. His large hands wander around my back, pulling me closer to him and I feel something harden against my thigh. I know what it is. My eyes widen at the feeling of it because it feels big.

I want it. I want to touch it, feel it, have it.

My heart begins to race faster in my chest and again his lips find his way to mine. My apartment is hot, and it's dark, but that's good because if I were able to see that the person making me feel this way is Dean, I'd shut it down. And then I remember... It is Dean. My man-whore neighbor whose lips were just on some other chick's lips, and God knows what else.

Ew. Ew. Ew. But this feels too good. It can't stop.

He grips my thighs hard, and lifts me up so that I am able to wrap my legs around him. I throw my arms over his shoulders and around his neck. As his tongue begs for entrance, my stomach swoons with butterflies again, and my kitty craves him. It's pulsating hard, and becoming weaker and wet by second. "Let me fuck you, princess." He whispers against my ear in a croaky tone. I can feel his heavy breathing causing goosebumps.

I want to nod my head, and tell him yes. I want to.

"Stop, stop." I mutter pushing him back. He respects my order and pulls his face away from me, and slowly lets me down so that I'm standing again. But he's still standing close enough that I can feel his hard manhood touching my thigh, throbbing every other instant. Trust me buddy, I want you too. A bit ashamed and embarrassed, I look to my side. I pin a lock of my hair behind my ear and clear my throat. "Can you just fix the light, please." My voice is soft. "All you wanted was a kiss, and clearly, you got more than what you wanted, so please."

Dean runs his pinky over my forehead, probably pushing away more of my lose strands, and chills run down my back. "Baby," he says gently, "We were just having fun." I can't see him but I know that if I dare to look at him, even in the darkness, I'd see his eyes full of charm. That's what every other girl falls for, but not me. I refuse to let that happen.

I swallow hard, "Fix the light, or get out please."

I hate being this way with him because I do want him. I do crave his touch and so much more but I deserve better than what he has to offer. At least I think so. My last relationship was bad, extremely bad and Dean used to see a lot of it. He'd hear our arguments through these thin walls, he'd watch me kick the guy out, he'd notice my different moods. He'd notice that sometimes I tried to cover up some bruises with makeup. I don't want anything like that again. And I'm not saying, or think Dean would be the same, it's that I want something real. He should know that I just want someone calm and collected and Dean is anything but that. He's the opposite. He's reckless, messy, loud, and annoying.

That's not something I want... Besides, I don't think he's ready to settle down and I'm not looking for someone to just fuck every night and have nothing more with. I want love. I want to settle down with someone who wants the same. And despite Dean having told me multiple times he only truly wants me, I can't believe that. It's clear that he isn't ready.