Two Can Play {Complete}

Aftermath Part I.

Bey's Present POV
Warning: Explicit Content

"Why is it important for you to forgive her right away?" Dr Smith questioned Jay. I was curious to know his reasoning as well.

"Because she needs me, and it's the right thing to do," Jay shrugged. "I'm angry, but how does that help us move forward?" He asked a rhetorical question.

"I commend you, truly," Dr. Smith nodded at him. "Bey, how does it feel hearing your husband say that?" She shifted her body towards me with a calming smile.

"Honestly, I feel like I'm unworthy of it, but I'm so happy that he accepts my apology," I answered truthfully.

"You are worthy of his forgiveness — just as he is worthy of yours," Dr. Smith rebutted. "We cannot receive what we are unwilling to give. You gave Jay forgiveness time and time again, now YOU receive it," she encouraged. She was right. The amount of forgiveness I've given him since we've been together is extraordinary for any human being.

Most women would have left years ago. With roles reversed, we know most men would have left too. As Dr. Smith said, we cannot receive what we are unwilling to give. Sounds simple, but it's a powerful statement.

"I can recieve the forgiveness from him, but why is it taking so long for me to forgive myself?" I sighed in frustration.

"The hardest kind of forgiveness is self-forgiveness. You've got to know that it takes time. We've worked on it throughout our past sessions," Dr. Smith reminds me. "You're now at the self-forgiveness stage called aftermath, rummaging through the storm and trying to gather the broken pieces that need to be repaired. Only then will you fully be able to forgive yourself. I'm here to help you along the way," she assured me.

"Okay! Thank you Dr. Smith," I couldn't help but smile at her.

"You're welcome!" Dr. Smith smiled back before she glanced down at her watch to see the time which read 2:40 pm. "Well, we have about 20 minutes left in the session. Is there anything else either of you would like to discuss? Or we could just end this session a little early," she looked between Jay and I.

I really didn't want to end the session. I dread when time is up because then I'm thrown back into the world to figure things out on my own. Now that Jay is on his second therapy session, I'm pretty sure he's starting to have those feelings of dread as well. However, we are both mentally drained, and thus this session needed to be over.

"I think we should end it early. That was a lot to take in," I peered over to Jay to see him nod his head in agreement.

"Fine by me!" Jay confirmed. "Are we doing another joint session next Thursday?" He asked.

"Yes, please!" I co-signed. "Dr. Smith, is that okay with you?" I ask her.

"I'm down for another round!" She said, causing the three of us to chuckle a little at her rhyme. We all got up from our seats and hugged each other.

"You two take care okay?" Dr. Smith patted our shoulders before walking us to the door and opening it. "Call me if you need anything before Thursday!" She said as we walked out.

"Will do," Jay replies.

"Thanks Dr. Smith. See you next week!" I waved.

"Alright! Bye, bye," she waved back. 

As we waited for the elevator to come up to our floor, I glanced up at Jay who seemed to have a lot on his mind already."Rita is picking up Blue from school today because she promised her ice cream," I spoke to make conversation.