Why Won't You Love Me | 5SOS | Luke Hemmings

Eighteen

We're too young, too dumb, to know things like love. But I know better now.

Luke gave me my space on the flight home. He asked everyone to let me be and let me sleep, which I was grateful for. It wasn't an ideal sleeping situation but it was better than nothing and it was the only thing making me forget.

I hated the cold and rain that Manchester brought. Australia was cold but at least the people were nice. I was tired of dealing with people who didn't want me in their lives. I wanted to be wanted for once in my life.

I hadn't expected Maddox to hate me. I wasn't hurting his family by being involved. I mean, if anything, it was Kelly's fault. But I couldn't blame her now.

Luke's phone rang and he walked to the back of the plane. He was gone several minutes before walking back through the aisle. He stopped and tucked the blankets further around my shoulders and sides and I just knew. I knew what the call was about.

I'd known from the start that seeing her was my goodbye. I knew she wasn't going to last much longer. I had a feeling Luke knew it when she called and asked to see me.

It felt like forever before we got back to the house. It was raining out and everything had a gray tint to it. It was almost as if we brought that stupid country back with us.

Luke followed me to my room and set down my bag. He lingered in the doorway as I sat on the edge of my bed, my hair damp from walking in the rain.

"Do you want me to stay?"

I knew he was asking because he didn't want to overstep. I knew he wanted me to have control over something. He was smart and I was grateful for it.

I nodded. I was afraid to look at him because I knew I'd cry. I was holding so much in and I knew it needed to come out but I didn't want to be that weak. I couldn't be weak.

He walked over to me and knelt down in front of me. He lifted my chin so I had to meet his gaze. "I'm not going to leave you, Maddie. I'm right here."

My shoulders dropped and I let go of everything I'd been holding back. I knew I was strong and could be strong but in that moment, I couldn't keep myself together.

Luke's arms were warm and comforting wrapped around me. I felt safe with him. I felt like he loved me.

He pulled back and brushed my hair from my face. "Why don't you go get a warm shower and I'll have Elliot cook something up for you?"

I sniffed and nodded. I wasn't up for either but Luke was worried about me. I was going to let him do whatever he felt necessary if it let me know he was truly my family.

I shuffled into the bathroom and turned the water on, letting it warm up. I took a final deep breath before stepping into the cloud of steam.

---

I walked into the kitchen, hoping not to run into anyone on my way. I just wanted something to drink so I could go back to my room to sulk.

Luke cleared his throat as I shut the fridge door and I almost dropped the soda in my hand.

"Jeez, Luke." I mumbled, trying to still the quick beats of my heart.

He gave me a soft smile and nodded at the chair across the table from him. "Have a seat, Maddie."

I did as he said, knowing the sooner I talked to him, the sooner I could go back to my room.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged a shoulder. "Fine, I guess."

"Do you regret going to see her?"

There was a part of me that did. I was tired of meeting people who didn't want me in their lives. It was weighing too heavy on me and I was sick of how it made me feel about myself. But I knew I needed that closure as much as she did. I needed to know that she loved me, regardless of everything that had happened.

"I should've known it wasn't going to be some life-changing moment." Technically, it was but not in the way I would have liked.

"You needed the closure."

I nodded. "Did they have a funeral?"

He nodded. "I sent flowers."

I looked up and saw him watching me, no doubt trying to figure out what I was thinking. I had a feeling he already knew what I was about to say. "I don't care if I never see him again."

Maddox might have been my brother but that didn't mean I needed to form any kind of bond with him. He made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me. I wasn't going to force myself into his life. I didn't need to deal with that hurt on my part.

I knew it hurt him to have one of his children hate him so much. He didn't deserve that even if he had given his children up. "I've been putting money into a college fund for both of you. It won't fix things but it's the least I can do. For him and for you."

I rolled my eyes. "You shouldn't. He doesn't care about either of us."

"You felt the same way when we met. You didn't want anything to do with me."

I stared down at the soda can in front of me. Maybe he was right. But that still didn't mean we had to kiss Maddox's butt. 

"He's still your family whether you like it or not."

I sighed. "I just wish he didn't suck as much."

Luke laughed and got to his feet. "I was thinking of ordering in food for dinner and giving Vincent a break tonight. Do you want me to order something for you?"

"Vincent?"

"My chef."

My brows rose. I'd only been living there a short time but I couldn't believe I didn't know his name. Was I that out of touch already?

He rolled his eyes. "Come on. I'm ordering Chinese so you can figure out what you'd like."

I jumped up quickly. I hardly ever got Chinese food so it felt like a delicacy for me. "I love Chinese."

"Me too."

---

I'm not sure if I'm going to keep going with this story or end it. I had been told that my previous ending wasn't really enough and I agree. I'm just not sure where to go with this story. Let me know what you think!

Updated 2/8/22