stuck with you | tk.

VII: history repeats itself.

Has it ever felt wrong for you to like a certain thing? Like the people around you would leave you for liking it? Like your place in the world might crumble if people found out about it? You want to hide it, but at the same time, you want to set the thing on display for the whole world to see. You want to boast about how great the thing is and how happy it makes you, but that can never happen. Because when you do express yourself, you feel small, as if you shouldn't enjoy it. As if you are not in the right class to find joy in this certain thing. People look at you weird, they're judging you. The people you're with, you, shouldn't like these things. You can't like it, it's not made for your people.

Well, Taehyung's found himself in a bit of a pickle.

He's not dumb. Well, he's not totally hopeless. He had a gut feeling that the desire to hold Jeongguk's hand, stroke his soft palm and caress it in such a way that tells Jeongguk that Taehyung wants to be there for him, protect him, that that is not a platonic feeling. He knows that much. But this is where his problem pops up. There isn't any problem in liking someone. Of course not, but the problem isn't the fact that he likes someone.

It's who he likes.

What is Taehyung supposed to do? If he marries a Jeon, too many disadvantages would follow. His job would not take him seriously, his reputation he spent so long to build would shatter, and he'd definitely get picked on by his own family. Because who in their right mind would stoop so low as to marry a Jeon?

Not to mention the Jeon he has a romantic interest in, is a boy. Of course not everyone in Taehyung's life are brainless homophobes, he has managed to cut out most of those people in his life. However, he can't escape the bigoted idiots at work and other social situations where it's impossible to choose who to surround himself with. Although he tries to separate private life from work, people like to gossip. Maybe one day, one of his employees, or secret admirers, stalked the young professional Kim Taehyung online, and found some former relationships he's had that didn't quite strike right with them.

Of course he has not been made a laughing stock in his working space, he is still a highly professional and respected individual. But significantly fewer people approach his office to ask what he's doing later that week. Although that would be a negative consequence for many, Taehyung is happy that fewer people disturb him in his working hours. He has never found interest in employees or forming platonic, or even romantic, relationships within the community he works in. But the unnerving feeling that someone is always watching you as you pass by, judging your every move, is somewhat making his otherwise calming days, a bit more stressful.

He just wants to earn money and enjoy life. But people- urgh, how strongly he dislikes people, they ruin everything nice. Why should they care if Taehyung wants to marry a man? Why should they care if he wants to be with a man with the last name Jeon?? Who are they to tell him what he should be like. Who are they to tell him what and who he should be interested in. It's all just a bunch of bullshit.

I want a refund on society, he thinks to himself, the majority of people are assholes anyway.

Taehyung is currently sitting comfortably in his office chair, sucking on the straw of some smoothie he bought earlier on the way. There's no smoothie left, the cup has been empty for a while, but he doesn't care. He just has to fidget with something. Calms his nerves, a lot has been on his mind lately.

It sometimes feels like people's eyes are constantly on him, as if they know a secret. As if they know something Taehyung doesn't want them to know. They probably aren't even looking in his direction. Why would they? However, the constant feeling of it, being watched, is enough to keep Taehyung on his toes. Wary of his every move.