Doctors' Order (Completed) [R-18]

5 : Facing Reality

April 20, 2020

How I wish everything can be so easy for us, Dr. Ibarra.

- Janine Boromeo

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Janine

Pasado alas otso na ng makarating ako sa ospital. The atmosphere inside is still the same. Walang pinagbago. How I've missed the hospital. I guess this is the life of being a doctor. Pati amoy ng ospital ay nakasanayan ko na na parang normal lamang itong amoy.

" Dra. Boromeo, puwede ba kitang makausap?" Tila nagulat pa ako dahil sa narinig kong boses mula kay Dra. Flores. She came here early just to speak with me.

Binuksan ko na iyung aking opisina para patuluyin siya.

" Uhm anu iyun?" I asked her. Wala ng paligoy ligoy pa.

" Gusto sana kitang makausap tungkol kay Carlo. Alam mo naman siguro kung ano ang nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya. I'm here to ask you to give him the closure that he needs so that he could love somebody else already. Please" Para akong nawalan ng kakayahang huminga dahil sa sinabi niya. I will surely hurt her feelings if I tell her that I don't have any intention of doing that because I love him.

" Umupo ka muna, Dra. Flores. Please have a seat" I told her. Umupo siya sa may couch at ganoon din ang ginawa ko.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago ako muling nagsalita.

" This is me talking to you not as Dra. Boromeo but this is me talking to you as a woman. Sam, you have been a good friend to Carlo. He told me that. You took care of him during moments when I failed to do so. You gave him the strength and courage to continue life. You showed him how important life is. You were there for him in times when I wasn't and I thank you for that. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin 'to sa 'yo na hindi ka nasasaktan. I could just let Carlo do it. But something inside me makes me want to talk to you. Sam, I'm sorry for the hurt and pains we both had given you. You don't deserve it at all. Alam kong wala ka namang ibang hinahangad kung hindi ang mahalin ka din ng lalaking iniibig mo. But I love him, Sam. Minahal ko siya noon at mahal ko parin siya hanggang ngayon. I learned my lesson the hard way. I saw him slowly turning his back on me. Ang buong akala ko nga noon ay wala na talaga. That we could just end up in separate ways but destiny found its way to bring us back together. You might had the shortest time with him but he trully will treasure it, Sam. I'm telling you this because I want you to let him go. Alam kong magiging mahirap, lalo na't natutunan mo na siyang mahalin. But you are loving a man who had already given his heart to someone else." Her tears started to fall. I took out my hankerchief inside my pocket and gave it to her. Kinuha naman niya ito at pinunasan ang kaniyang mga luha.

" I didn't know this would be so painful." Tipid siyang ngumiti. A genuine smile to cover up the hurt she's feeling.

" And I'm sorry, Sam. Ako na mismo ang humingi ng tawad sa 'yo. Huwag na huwag mo sanang isipin na panakip butas ka lang. Please don't think of that. I cannot ask you to forget him in a blink of an eye because that's imposible but I will ask you to learn to let him go. We've been through a lot already. I've hurted him big time. I have chosen this position over him and that left a huge scar in his heart. I'm still on the process of mending his broken heart, Sam. Ako ang may kasalanan ng lahat at inaamin ko iyon. Ayoko ng makasakit pa ng iba. You're beautiful Sam. Ang totoo niyan, inaamin kong masmaganda ka kaysa sa akin. You look like a goddess. And someone out there deserves you. Please don't settle on someone who already had given his love to somebody else. You won't need to look for that someone because he will come barging infront of you and ask for the love he wants for the both of you. I'm so sorry for everything, Sam. He will talk to you soon. I know he will talk to you now. And I know that you would do the right thing. A beautiful woman like you doesn't beg for love. You just need to freely take it from someone worthy of you. Patawarin mo ulit sana ako, Sam. I hope you won't see me as a villain here" Nakita ko kung paano siya napayuko sa sinabi ko. She wiped her tears and gave me a faint smile.