If Wishes were Cheap-Shots

Chapter Three

Orangusnake let out a heavy and miserable sigh.

Seated on Snugglemagne's throne in his airship's main deck, he looked like a forlorn lord of an ancient moody kingdom on the verge of apocalypse. Not even Ratarang's mother's fruit meatloaf could cheer him up. It was getting cold on a small round bamboo table next to him. The smell of smoke bombs fumed everywhere, but the scent sprays intoxicating the air with fake lemon-verbena attempted to shield it.

"Don't worry, Boss!" said Ramaraffe. "We still got the Ruby Pure Heart and that smells like crystal."

"Yes, I say our efforts were pretty tight," said Boss Hosstrich punching the air.

"Ooo, so 2005," winced Orangusnake.

"So's resistin' blue ray," said Hosstrich, and he crossed his arms.

Orangusnake had to admit, "Point taken."

"Either way we got the Ruby Pure Heart!" grinned Ratarang. "Who cares about anything else?"

It was tied to the top of their airship now, and although it weighed the ship down groaning, it still floated along the ground well enough.

"Yes..." sighed Orangusnake a second time. "And before long, Pure Heart Valley will decay into nothing as the morale of the Sweetie Pies decays with the town's lack of energy. Their kingdom will fall into a pit of hateful despair that will destroy the fertile valley for miles around, and we have so much money that we can pay the highest services to clean out the stink out of our ship once we get to Sky City. And officially hook up the Pure Heart to the engine of course. Then we'll be the scourge of the sky and the most feared pirates in all the world from longitude to latitude."

Ramaraffe's face contorted with pity and confusion. "Then what's wrong, Boss?"

"Oh! Just forget it."

"Okay, but I thought you were gunna be happy once we won."

"The funny thing is, Ramaraffe," said Orangusnake thoughtfully staring into an LED-lit electric fireplace in a most atmospheric sort of way. "So did I..."

"Hey, boss, more fruit meatloaf!" said Ratarang scurrying up in front of him. He was suddenly wearing a chef's hat and apron as he held a flat pan of the stuff.

With a spatula he cut and plopped a great helping of it over what had already gotten cold.

"What's the point?" grumbled Orangusnake.

"To get full finally, Boss," said Ramaraffe.

Without looking, Orangusnake used one of his huge fingers to flip his plate off of the bamboo table. It clattered and splattered the fruit meatloaf all over the floor.

Ramaraffe, Ratarang, and Boss Hosstrich looked at the wasted food on the floor in dismay for a moment and then looked up with deep concern at their boss. Ratarang was also trying to decide whether it would have been seen as poor taste in light of the situation to take the food off the floor and eat it himself.

Orangusnake closed his eyes and sighed yet again most miserably.

"Maybe he likes metal pipes better," said Ramaraffe to her companions.

Ratarang shook his head. Throwing off his chef's hat he scurried up behind the throne and climbed up into a position where he hung onto the side of it near eye level with his captain.

"Hey, c'mon, Boss," said the rat-cyborg lifting a paw. "You're scaring us. Pull yourself together!"

"Yeah, tell us what's troublin' ya, boy," said Hosstrich.